• garth@sh.itjust.works
    241·
    3 months ago

    An audible sigh followed by “Fine” or “Sure” = Yes

    But the lack of enthusiasm really kills the mood.

  • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
    14·
    3 months ago

    Pfft, a simple “Yes” is not exactly enthusiastic consent. I need enthusiastic consent before I even send the first message.

  • gmtom@lemmy.world
    113·
    3 months ago

    I might get hate for this, but you can still consent when you’re drunk, so long as you’re not like barely conscious drunk or you’re not being manipulated coerced by someone.

    • humorlessrepost@lemmy.worldEnglish
      131·
      3 months ago

      Yeah, as an alcoholic, I don’t think every sexual encounter I’ve had in the past decade or more was mutual rape.

    • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world
      4·
      3 months ago

      But only if the person has consented to it during their life. Some people are now arranging things, so that necrophiles can have one happy moment in their life at least “the proper way”, some allegedly going even further and letting their bodies to be preserved for sex purposes. While it makes me go “eww”, at least it’s not something like parents letting pedophiles to rape their kids, not the animal stuff, etc…

  • kn33@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    3 months ago

    Okay, but the line about “bribed” doesn’t sit right with me. We doing SWERF stuff now?

    • evidences@lemmy.world
      7·
      3 months ago

      Bribes are given as a form of coercion, if it’s legit sex work than no bribe is given and both parties are consenting. Just giving someone money or good in trade for a service isn’t a bribe.

    • brynden_rivers_esq@lemmy.ca
      51·
      3 months ago

      Is considering sex work generally non-consensual a SWERF thing? I’d guess most people who think that don’t at all want to exclude sex workers…it’s not a criticism of sex workers. I also don’t think it precludes that some people might not have a coercive experience with sex work. Im sure there are plenty of people selling feet pics on instagram and feeling great about it, and maybe that’s fine…but I don’t think that’s the norm!

      Maybe I’m wrong though; I don’t intend to be a swerf, but I do think sex work is generally non-consensual. Most paid work is probably non-consensual on some level but I think sex kind of has a special place in non-consensual activity.

      Sex work is obviously something many people feel forced into. 73% of sex workers have at least one disability; maybe they feel they have other options, but it looks like that’s not most people’s experience: https://www.ctvnews.ca/vancouver/article/nearly-3-in-4-sex-workers-live-with-a-disability-rare-bc-report-finds/

    • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world
      3·
      3 months ago

      Depends on. If it’s someone who actually wants to do it, then it’s not a bribe. However if someone doesn’t want to be a sex worker gets money (or workplace promotion, toys, candies) offered for sex does constitute as bribing.

  • janewaydidnothingwrong@lemmy.world
    91·
    3 months ago

    I feel like you’re allowed to hesistate and still say a “yes” yes, especially since the “threatened and then said yes” is separate on this. It can be complicated and thought over first, no?

    • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
      2·
      3 months ago

      They would have done better to make it more about talking someone into it or pestering them than about “hesitation”. Maybe “reluctant” would have been better.
      Sometimes people need to do a little internal status check. “I had a headache all day, am I not feeling it or would it be a fun alternative to ibuprofen?”

    • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world
      4·
      3 months ago

      Some people think animals can consent, it’s just “non-verbal”. Best you can get is sometimes you’ll have to restrain (or drug) an animal in heat less. In reality, that’s like if pedophilia was okay if the child was teen and extremely horny, in reality teens are more often targeted than pre-pubescent kids, and they also groomed with sexual and/or romantic favors.

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.worldEnglish
      4·
      3 months ago

      I used to go to church at this cult and people are weird. There was this kid there (he’s okay now but like, we all grow up a little twisted) who was always making jokes about putting peanut butter on his nethers and having his dog lick it off. One day someone must have reported the jokes and that was the last time (thank gods) we heard them, despite months of telling him that was fucked up.

  • Maxxus@sh.itjust.works
    3·
    3 months ago

    I’m going to scroll through this whole comment section and not see a single Sexy Losers reference, aren’t I?

    Edit: bjoern’s restored my faith in shitposting.

  • Tiral@lemmy.world
    64·
    3 months ago

    I’d have to disagree with this. My wife has definitely banged me when I was asleep and or drunk. She didn’t ask, but it was yes from me if she did.

    I don’t think you should use a generic chart as a guide, it isn’t always that simple, because people aren’t that simple. It’s also not very helpful, people who have morals already know this. The other people know this, they just don’t give a shit, it isn’t they don’t understand. There’s a big difference.

    • Hacksaw@lemmy.ca
      91·
      3 months ago

      This chart is good for hookups. In long term relationships you can negotiate things like asleep and inebriated while sober or through long term safe sane and consensual escalation. Then you get to enjoy things that are hard to enjoy ethically with a stranger. Hell in most kinky contexts most of these are yes and are replaced with a safeword for “no” but you need more trust for that than you can muster with most strangers.