I know nothing about paintball, but I feel like there has to be vegan paintballs.
Marbles
Damn, you play for keeps
Fuck. I guess you’re the one attending paintball with a Claymore.
Painball.
Blend kale and almond milk.
A touch of nutritional yeast does wonders
Soy beans. A tag doesn’t count if you catch with your mouth.
Hindu paintballers be like
Yeah wait, can we not make paintballs with…no animal parts?
Yeah, that’s kinda buried in the lead.
“Hey, just FYI, all your paintballs have pork fat in them” would be a more startling revelation.
I’m guessing the shell is made from gelatin or something? Which is made from animal bones. I can’t think of what else would be made from animal.
Someone needs to explain to me why there’s ANY animal product in a paintball in the first place.
Paintballs are made of gelatin. Gelatin is often just collagen and collagen is basically connective tissue.
Fun fact! This is why E Ink displays use pig products!
New advertising campaign unlocked.
what
Hope you aren’t a gummy bear fan, cause I have news for you
You know they’re not really made of bears, right?
You’re gonna try and tell me that not a single bear ever fell into a vat of gelatine?
Pectin FTW
So you don’t need them to be hallal if you just don’t get hit.
Presumably they need to be able to touch their own balls?
Don’t we all?
You die.
You ascend to the pearly gates. Saint Peter stands there, or the Islamic equivalent, whatever, holding a book with your record. He flips through it.
“Let’s see. Beat his wife and kids, no problem. Stole massive amounts of money, okay. Generally racist, shouldn’t be an issue. Killed a man in cold blood. It was a Jew, so no great loss. Wait. You used pork paintballs? Are you fucking kidding me?”
A hole opens beneath you. You fall straight to hell.
“I can forgive the wifebeating, the drunkenness, the rape, but the pork paintballs‽ To the deepest pits with you! Insha’Allah, motherfucker!”
/j, obviously
Are they also required to be… green?
“Within islam” is doing a lot if work here that should be elaborated upon.
History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme
