Currently sitting on my toilet trying to be quiet and this damn thing is making my ass sound like a brass only orchestra
You have no idea the relative luxury you’re currently complaining about. Try a solid stainless steel prison toilet. They’re torturously cold to sit on in the winter, and also shorter with a higher water level.
If you don’t grab ahold of Mr. Winky before sitting down he’s going to be bobbing in the water you’re shitting into. Make sure you grab from the base of the balls, or they’re just going to plié down into that icy water too.
It is to teach people to be proud and loud
Yes they’re made of pure trombonium.
factoid: Three modern toilet improvements were invented and patented in the late 1800s by Thomas Crapper, including the floating ballcock.
Own it. I installed an amp and a reverb pedal in my toilet.
I got a whammy bar
Rules to live by:
- Don’t be embarrassed by your body, nor the sounds and smells it makes. We are creatures of matter, not ethereal beings of light
- The toilet is a sacred place where social mores are relaxed. Just don’t talk to other people while you’re relieving yourself or getting your dick sucked
- Seriously, why are you on the phone in the bathroom? I’m trying to read in here!
- Wash your hands
- If you see someone leave a bathroom without washing their hands, and you see that person soon after with a group of people, it is your solemn doody to walk up to their companion, point at them with a fully extended arm, and say slightly louder than socially acceptable “THEY DIDN’T WASH THEIR HANDS”. Walk away with no other comment
Because porcelain, in the shape of a bowl, is incredibly good at staying relatively clean and being easy to clean when it eventually does get dirty. Those are the most important properties you want for something that you literally shit into.
It also usually self-cleans quite nicely through the flushing mechanism. Hence the noise, since it pushes water down the sides to clean it.
Tell that to the hard water in my town. I’ve tried everything short of a water softener (rental) and basically all it does is delay the rings from one week to about 2 1/2.
I’m surprised the water softener didn’t help more — is there a specific mineral that is extremely present in the water?
That I don’t know, other than we have a large aquifer under the county that serves basically just our county, that has a cap of clay over it. Supposedly we have some of the best tasting water in the country but it is very heavy.
But no, I said I haven’t gotten a water softener, because I live in a rental. But I’ve done the little hangy things, the blue pucks in the reservoir, even this damn device that works like a bidet for the toilet that shoots an amount of cleaner with every flush. Nothing works. A water softener likely would.
Edit: ok so it’s not a large aquifer. It’s actually very small now that I think of it lol
(A rusty one?)
The simple answer is, porcelain is fairly durable, nonreactive and, well, smooth. You don’t want a material that’s prone to sticking in any way. The shape needs to be a certain way for the water to do away with… things, and not go everywhere.
That sucks when you have one of the THBPLTPLTBPHLTHLPTHPLTPPL ones in company, though.
It also needs to be cheaply mass producible. So making stuff from literal dirt is a pretty smart idea.
I once used a really nice bidet on a vacation to Europe. It wasn’t the cheap ones that are offered in the US that are basically just toilet seat attachments, everything was built in. It was porcelain but the sides were stainless steel. There was no handle to flush the toilet, but when you sat down and let your arms hang by your side you would feel a slight protrusion on the right side that your fingers would naturally press and out popped a remote control that would start the cleaning process. You could select the water temperature, the spraying pattern, the air dry temperature and a couple of other things. There was no toilet paper involved at all and you would be completely clean and dry afterwards. It was also self cleaning, and pretty much soundproof. I started my session with a loud fart and it was barely audible. Oh, and when we first checked into the room there were rose petals in the water in the toilet. So quiet toilets are out there but they cost multiple thousands of dollars. But they’re worth every penny.
Is this a regional US thing or something? Because where I live in California I can walk into any local big box hardware store or Costco and walk out with an integrated bidet toilet, not just a retrofit lid. It’s been like that for 10 years now.
Not uncommon to find available to buy just uncommon that they are actually bought/installed. The retrofit options are vastly cheaper and mean you don’t have to replace a functioning toilet.
They also make stand alone bidets which would sit next to a toilet, but they’re even less common due to space constraints.
One time I wound up at a really sketchy basement party. The stand alone bidet in the bathroom had enough pressure to clean shit off the ceiling.
With a remote control?
Here you go, a quiet toilet with built in tp holder. And its free.
That’s advanced yoga to reach the toilet paper during business there.
I’d love this if winter wasn’t a thing 😭
Its even quieter in the winter. Fewer mosquitos too.
Ask my father, he has never triumphed as loud and as long as he ever has on a steel one as he has on a ceramic one. He was a music teacher, so the resonance is important to him.
The hard surface is resonant but also easier to clean.
The shape is out of necessity too, it needs to be big enough to sit on, but flushing also needs to be able to funnel the water to flush properly.
If you can figure out a non resonant material that is suitable for the job, you could be very rich very fast.That’s part of the fun!
Yes, comedy.
You already got your answer, so I’m gonna be sarcastic… sorry.
It’s a skill issue, stop playing the brown notes.
