• FreshLight@sh.itjust.works
    60·
    11 days ago

    That is by far the shittiest version of the “which pill/superpower/xyz ?” that I’ve seen.

    “No more fat”, “Have many followers” and fucking “Increase 5cm height” nearly gave me an aneurysm. This meme is a good pick for the community.

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
      11·
      11 days ago

      Yeah what does even “no more fat” means? You can’t eat fat any more? Or all the fat is removed from you (which would kill you)?

      Also, get me a -5cm height for my 198cm, that would be perfect.

    • ryedaft@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      3·
      11 days ago

      I think “many followers” means being famous?

      And the “increase 5cm” has a strategic new line. I thought for about 0.3 seconds that a rude had snuck in.

  • shneancy@lemmy.world
    16·
    11 days ago

    1. feels like a trap, once you burn through all your fat you’ll be impossibly unhealthy

    2. is a trap too, if you stop gaining weight from eating then you might trap yourself in the same situation as above

    3. unless you hunt for food, bad idea

    4. decent option, but it doesn’t mention if there’s any pain during the growth period

    5. good option, as long as you have control over your strength

    6. very bad option, sounds nice but you will go insane

    7. doesn’t say if online or IRL, having many followers IRL is not desirable

    8. dangerous, erasing any meaningful memories is dangerous

    9. the only good option with no consequences i can think of. i’ll take 3 of those

    • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
      4·
      10 days ago

      Mostly agree, easily can reduce it down to 4,5 modulo fine print. I don’t agree with the last if a lot of money means billions and if you want to keep it all for yourself. Wanting to own billions is a mental disease imo.

      • shneancy@lemmy.world
        3·
        10 days ago

        oh nah lol, i’d just keep a decent amount of money to live comfortably + bit extra for the occasional adhd “new hobby” shopping spree. if “a lot” means billions, the majority of it i’d most likely donate to charities or give away to friends and random people, i have no desire to hoard wealth

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
      1·
      10 days ago

      Except how do people generally get money from taking pills? Hint: it’s not often because they are happy with the results.

      • shneancy@lemmy.world
        2·
        10 days ago

        i don’t think a pill can give you more followers either (not without first setting up a cult and/or a drug enterprise)

  • wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works
    10·
    10 days ago

    1 is the monkey’s paw answer and a trap. Fat is necessary for survival. Fats literally make up the outside of every cell in your body.

    2 is still dangerous, because it might just be tapeworm eggs.

    Is 3 just a servant who shops for you? Or is it just that you are no longer addicted to compulsive shopping?

    4 Will cause you the most agonizing pain of your life as virtually every bone and muscle gets ripped apart and re-knit, and as someone who’s 6’4, it has its upsides, but having literally everything made for people shorter than you REALLY sucks, from doorways and light fixtures, even to rollercoasters which nearly remove your legs because of awful design (or just won’t close over your shoulders)

    5 is nice. Go with 5. It’ll be painful, but potentially worth it in a pinch, as long as it also grants you control of that strength.

    6 is another trap, since small amounts of stress are actually really important, and in order to be constantly happy, your brain would lose the ability to feel it unless it continually increased the dopamine drip. Eventually, you would kill for the ability to stop.

    7 I mean, sure, if that’s what you want. Would be nice to know what kind of followers? Are they going to be religious and try to pull a Life of Brian on you?

    8 is the worst, because you have no control over the extent of the memory wipe. This is existentially terrifying

    9 is the safest, but then you go and read that post about why winning the lottery means you’re fucked.

    The surefire safest calls are probably 9, 7, and 3, since they wouldn’t actually affect your body, unless you’re the kind of person who likes playing roulette with the sort of pills you get for free on the street.

  • RandomVideos@programming.dev
    9·
    10 days ago

    I am underweight so 2 would probably kill me. 4 would make my gender dysphoria worse. 7 would be a nightmare since i have social anxiety

    Why is there no estrogen pill?

  • BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works
    61·
    11 days ago

    Revenge of the MonkeyPaw:

    1 you are allergic to eating fat and can no longer eat any fat whatsoever.

    2 your body has lost its ability to process nutrients, making you starve to death.

    3 you’re banned from every store on earth.

    4 only your neck gets 5cm longer.

    5 but only in your dreams.

    6 you can not feel anything but happiness - no pain, anger, sadness, nothing but joy.

    7 and you’re awaiting your trial as you’re a KKK NeoNazi kult leader.

    8 you get Alzheimer’s disease.

    9 but you cannot access it because the government froze your account due to being investigated in a money laundering scheme.

    • JiminaMann@lemmy.world
      5·
      11 days ago

      Ah yes my favourite trend of monkey paw: removing the fking benefit instead of giving side effects, while making things worse

      • BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works
        21·
        11 days ago

        Oh, right! The monkey paw does it to someone else most of the time, like “you get the money but someone else dies and the money is compensation or inheritance”