I didn’t process “Divorce” at first, so thought it was proposing a Phillip J Fry situation.

I’m scandalized by the inversion of the Q&A format, where you seem to put the answer (“They fuckin.”) before the questions.

Edit: I’ve been enlightened by Osan.

That is because The Smoke cures the Two Great Ills: Life and Decay. And yet humans flee The Smoke, clinging to the emphemeral, cloying dream called “living.” Trotting blithely into the maw of entropy.

Dance instead with the Herald Flame.

Take in The Smoke.

The challenge is in not erasing yourself by the rules, by being famously immortal. Presumably, you also don’t age. So you just have to move around every decade or two.

Let this old guy have his cosplay kinks with his (alleged) student paramour.

Isn’t that just an extension of the “Blood Joe” referenced in the OP?

It’s a shitpost

Ain’t no shot he tips.

Probably disputes the delivery, in order to get a refund too

“May contain leeches”? It’s landlord meat: it is leeches.

First, Epic, now Oracle.

I’m never gonna get another job in software, am I?

Edit: I physically let out a cry of pain after reading possibly 10,000 engineers of varying seniority had been fired (incident was reported on LinkedIn and judged based on the dip in Oracle’s internal Slack membership count).

Yeah, I should just start trying to move into a new field, huh.

I’m not a good cocktail though, I’m a bad lay.

So 3 minutes it is.

…why not just “magister” and avoid a word that already has very strong, current connotations with fantasy?

Nah, you need an inexcusable amount of Ys: at least 5. There are ace ladies hitting 3 Ys.

Turns out being exiled to suck grains of sand for individual molecules of moisture up through your early 20s isn’t as good for the resume as being inducted as a child into the fasttrack program for magic West Point.

I hope this was preplanned, and they didn’t just passively watch a cat ruin someone’s meal from a single table away.

I don’t suppose this is fighting against the assumption that marriage is a part of becoming a fully-fledged adult. So is the fear in this reality that you’d get force-bethrothed to an ugly woman (let’s not hold a mirror on that too long)? But what about the beautiful women? Are they given last pick or something?

Or, perhaps, would the beautiful women marry someone else, and you would be the dregs for the late, unlucky woman to scrape off the bottom of the barrel?

Hmm, try 5 more pre-toothpicks before the other 12 toothpicks…

Have you tried becoming hot before applying the toothpick?

I’ve heard that works.

That is clearly not the reason.

What if they say it’s lemonade instead?