• BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works
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    13 days ago

    Revenge of the MonkeyPaw:

    1 you are allergic to eating fat and can no longer eat any fat whatsoever.

    2 your body has lost its ability to process nutrients, making you starve to death.

    3 you’re banned from every store on earth.

    4 only your neck gets 5cm longer.

    5 but only in your dreams.

    6 you can not feel anything but happiness - no pain, anger, sadness, nothing but joy.

    7 and you’re awaiting your trial as you’re a KKK NeoNazi kult leader.

    8 you get Alzheimer’s disease.

    9 but you cannot access it because the government froze your account due to being investigated in a money laundering scheme.

    • JiminaMann@lemmy.world
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      13 days ago

      Ah yes my favourite trend of monkey paw: removing the fking benefit instead of giving side effects, while making things worse

      • BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works
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        13 days ago

        Oh, right! The monkey paw does it to someone else most of the time, like “you get the money but someone else dies and the money is compensation or inheritance”