• BroBot9000@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Pink and I would dedicate the rest of my life to making Elon Musk shit himself literally every time a camera is pointed at him.

  • Polysics@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Pink all the way. Rude to some service worker? Poopy pants. Didn’t return the cart? Poop. Drive like an asshole? Poop. Politician spewing hateful garbage on national television? Oh you bet you’re getting the poopy pants.

    I would be The Punisher, only with poop instead of guns.

  • BigBenis@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Assuming I could force somebody to poop on command with little effort beyond sheer willpower, I would absolutely take it upon myself to dish out petty justice with that power.

    I see you being rude to people working in a service job? You get poopy pants.

    I see you playing music on your phone or otherwise being obnoxious on the bus or some other public space? You get poopy pants.

    Are you driving like an asshole? Following too closely? Cutting people off? Honking the moment the light turns green? Words can’t express the satisfaction I will feel in knowing that you’re now sitting in your car with the poopiest of pants my power could possibly muster.

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Okay, but at all times there is a mass of constipated people surrounding you, lining up in a queue in front of your home, begging you to relieve them! And obvioysly many havent really thought about where to go about it if you help them…

  • _stranger_@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I like that it’s “Forced”. If it was just “make people shit themselves”, it would just happen and then they’d wonder what’s going on But Forced implies they’re fighting it, it implies resistance. That’s kinda messed up.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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    3 months ago

    Jeez. All you mean people.

    I’d take the pink pill and help people with intestinal blockages and stuff.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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            3 months ago

            I’m not going to play this game. It’s the same game people play with me when I say I don’t want to own a gun.

            I have never been in such a situation, so I have no idea what I would do. As it is, my large, mean dog would make it unlikely.

            Just accept that not everyone shares your violent fantasies.

  • zxqwas@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    It’s only chaotic evil if you use it as such.

    Could work as a televangelist for constipated people.

  • over_clox@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Choose One?

    That question mark ❓ suggests the option I could take them all instead if I wanted…

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I’d take all but the blue one. Once my powers become known, my crush would love me! Together we’d run my campaign for mayor. I’d win on the promise that the browns will win the superbowl. Yes, I’m making a fecies joke about the BROWNS wining the SUPERBOWL.

      I just gotta make the other team shit their pants at the right times.