Where is Barnacle Boy?

How’s everybody doing? Sorry about the wait, it’s hard to move in these costumes. Here’s a complimentary appetizer for the inconvenience. Our new Owl Pellets!

Who remembers the Hooters episode of Undercover Boss? Where that manager made all the waitresses eat beans off of plates with their faces to see who goes home. And he doesn’t even get fired. The whole episode was uncomfortable.

I don’t think they’d ever be able to rebrand away what everybody thinks about them.

Thanks, I think it’s one of my best looking pens. The VP isn’t a VP, it’s a MoonMan A1. I’m not sure if it’s made by Majohn or not, but it is super similar to their A1 and A2 if it’s not. Writes well, good seal. For under $30. Highly recommend.

Wrong Dell.

How could I forget K&E. Nice slide rules, too.

If I HAVE to use a ballpoint, it’s going to have to be a rollerball. Like the Uniball. But really, I’d take just about any fountain pen over any of them.

Wtf is this shit? No Rotring. No Alvin. No Koh-i-Noor. I guess I have to take the GraphGear, but it’s under duress.

My wife had to start laying her own.

Me, sweating as I look around my office.

• 3DConnexion SpaceExplorer
• DOS era Gravis controller
• Windows XP era Gravis controller
• Windows XP
• Fountain pens
• Mechanical watches
• Gameboy
• HP-41C calculator
• Old, chrome flashlights

I don’t really know where to stop this list. I love old stuff.

Waterworld. I love that movie so much. I’ve watched the theatrical, TV, and Ulysses cuts. I’ve read the comics. I’ve played the games. I bought it on Blu-ray the day Arrow released it.

It’s from The Room, it’s a fantastic movie

A lot of people can get a good handle on the cut segment of the course, but when it comes to the uncut they seem to slip right through the cracks.

It’s just minor radiation exposure. Only 3 mSv. That’s barely 30 chest X-rays, or 150 seven hour flights!

Wait… dickS?

My father was a penis inspector, like his father before him. He had to work for years at a penis factory to get by, working long, hard hours. All while taking penis inspection classes at night. When he finally graduated, he said it was so satisfying to tell his boss he was quitting, and that from now on he would be inspecting his work. He went on to be the best penis inspector in our county, and oversaw Penis Inspection Day at 4 public schools and 7 private for over three decades.

The fact that they think they can automate this entire proud profession with one scanner in a public bathroom is an insulting joke. It’s a single camera! How will it check the underside of the shaft for melanoma? Can it check the foreskin for proper length and cleanliness?? How does it check erection durometer? Not to mention urethral diameter. For fuck’s sake.

How are you doing? This is pretty big news.

Oh, no. Not at all. All hope is lost, this is just a comfortable place to die.

I know how a break petal works, dummy.

The Hardy Boys kidnapped Fisher Stevens! Johnny 5 must rescue friend.