As an early 90’s millennial, I’ve never noticed a “gen z stare” as described in news articles like a “blank face that shows lack of social skill or ability to think”. The only times I’ve witnessed it happen and seen the older person accuse them of “gen z stare” is when the older person says something off hand or dumb but isn’t self aware enough to realize they’re being weird. Hell, I’ve given people a blank face countless times because I was taught it was better to say nothing at all sometimes. Especially when it came to talking to older people at work.
I remember when I was 16, some middle aged guy at work accused me of having no personality. In reality, I kept all conversations short as possible with him (like almost everyone in the store) because they were casually racist and misogynistic.
Nope. It’s always safe to ignore any articles about “kids these days”
Oh I take most “news” with a large grain of salt for sure. Just seems like such an odd thing to attribute to a single generation when everyone alive has probably at some point reacted with a blank face to avoid saying “you’re fucking weird”
Perfectly balanced, Todd Howard!
It was only a few years ago that journalists seemed to realize that Millennials had jobs and kids. I’m thinking about college for my kids and “Millennials unable to adapt to the work force” articles are still being written. Bitch, we ARE the work force!
As an elder millenial I might have some insight. You know how when we were kids people used to get all up in their feelings when you weren’t smiling. That’s this. “Gen Z stare”, is just “Resting Bitch Face” or “You look prettier when you smile darlin’” repackaged and rebranded. They’re mad that the young people in general and women in particular aren’t running around with goofy forced smiles on their faces to make them feel special.
The various answers in this thread are just hilarious.
The stare is real; it’s when they work in a service position but don’t communicate. You walk up to the counter and instead of greeting you or asking how they can help you or saying anything at all they just stare at you. That’s the Gen z stare. It’s that simple and I’ve encountered it everywhere that employs younger people. It doesn’t bother me, you don’t have to do shit for a shit wage, but it does make interactions unnecessarily awkward.
The comment saying that Gen z just doesn’t tolerate stupid is hilarious. What percentage of your generation voted for Trump again?Thank you! This is the part I cannot stand. If you want to sit and blink at me on the bus when I ask if the seat next to you is taken, hey, fair enough, Ill just sit down then and fuck you, I was just asking to be nice but aint no one sitting in it and you didnt open your mouth so now Im sitting in it and you can process that however you need to, not my problem.
But when Im at the store and ask where the paper towels are so I dont have to spend 20 minutes walking through a building that covers 40 acres, and get nothing but a dead ass stare, thats fucking ridiculous. Is having to point to an aisle really such a hardship that mentally it causes you to lockup?
Honestly I think this comes down to a lack of socialization. People arent learning how to function in social situations that arent curated for them ahead of time anymore and simply do not know how to communicate properly with strangers. Which is understandable, of course, but where it falls apart is when you willingly take a job to be in that position and then dont want to do what the job entails.
Sounds like poor training maybe
I think it’s that they lack environmental awareness because they are so used to staring into a screen all day. Like their brains lack the trained ability to be constantly over viewing their surroundings and using peripheral vision.
It also sucks because to get their attention you have to raise your voice or otherwise startle them to get their attetention, which like the other person said, makes it awkward and probably makes you seem hostile or demanding… when you basically have to be rude and demanding to get them to acknowledge that you want to place an order when they are literally face to face with you… but they are just spaced out.
To a degree, I do agree with you. However, if you are of the legal age where you are even allowed to hold a job, period, you shouldn’t have to be trained on how to interact with human beings. That training should have happened long before you came to us looking for a job. If they’re even hired in the first place, they must have demonstrated that they are capable of having a conversation or else they wouldn’t have been brought on.
I mean really that’s the whole reason we do the interview…we don’t give a shit about their technical skills really, because that’s all stuff they will be trained on. What we give a shit about is that they’re capable of interacting with other people in a professional manner. If someone is sitting for an interview and just blinks at us whenever we ask them a question about their application, they’re not going to be offered a job. So its pretty clear that for the interview, at least, they demonstrated that they have that base skill or else I wouldn’t be training them in the first place.
So then why the fuck is it that all those skills they demonstrated they have during the interview evaporate the minute they’re on the payroll? Like do I really have to train someone that if the phone rings at their desk, they need to answer it? That if they receive a direct email from someone, they need to respond to it? That if someone asks them a question, they need to answer, and not just stare at them?
I can teach people the technical shit all day long, and literally do it all day long. But I should not have to teach them that a ringing telephone needs to be answered, especially if the job they were hired to do was, in part, answering the fucking phone. And there are people out there that still think that I should have to do that, or worse, that Im the jerk for expecting it in the first place. Just such a fuckin clown show all around.
Unless you are literally a child there is no reason for the person at the counter to greet you or ask how they can help, put on your big boy pants and just tell them what you need and move on, everyone is busy and no one has time to make you feel special, have your order prepared before getting to the counter, just say Hi can I have xyz and they will get it done, that’s all the conversation that needs to happen.
Im sorry but thats just not normal unless you are neurodivergent. We’re not robots. Honestly something is wrong if you dont even have mirror facial expressions.
I get dissasociating from a rude customer, but i ja e gotten that stare from a simple ass “hey hows it goin”.
Hey how’s it going is just an empty phrase that means Hi, you should not expect any response to that other than a hi back at most, unless you actually want to know how they are doing, and the answer to that is they are tired and miserable, which you would know if you ever worked a customer facing minimum wage retail job before. Just because people don’t have the energy for your bullshit doesn’t mean they are neurodivergent. In many other countries where employees aren’t forced to plaster a smile on their face the interaction won’t be anymore then this either.
you should not expect any response to that other than a hi back
Yes, exactly. Everyone knows it’s a pointless platitude, the goal is to get an acknowledgement in response that you can further the interaction. When you don’t get that response it’s a problem - you don’t know if they’re busy, and the vast majority of people don’t want to be rude by just launching into your order (or whatever) just expecting them to be ready for it.
Just because people don’t have the energy for your bullshit doesn’t mean they are neurodivergent.
Uh, actually, it kinda does mean that, because the vast majority of people aren’t so exhausted by responding to “Hey, hows it going?” with a normal, human response that they not only completely opt out of doing it but then go on the internet and complain about how unfair it is that they’re expected to behave in line with what is defined as ‘the norm’.
Here’s the questions you need to ask yourself: Why do I feel like being asked to engage with a person that is asking a normal question is equivalent to being forced to engage with someone that is treating me poorly? Why am I seemingly unable to separate the two, and conflate participating in social niceties with being abused? Why is the social equivalent of a papercut and a shotgun blast to the face the same in my eyes, and why do both generate a similar response?
But whatever you do, if you can’t handle being expected to respond to “hey hows it going?” with some variation of “not bad, you?”, for the love of Christ, please don’t willingly seek out employment where a key facet of the job is doing just that, or at the very least if you do, save the blinking and acting like Im inconveniencing you for asking a normal-ass question like “Is this the line to pay?” If you can’t even handle that, that is not at all the fault of the person on the other side of the dialog.
But whatever you do, if you can’t handle being expected to respond to “hey hows it going?” with some variation of “not bad, you?”, for the love of Christ, please don’t willingly seek out employment where a key facet of the job is doing just that, or at the very least if you do, save the blinking and acting like Im inconveniencing you for asking a normal-ass question like “Is this the line to pay?” If you can’t even handle that, that is not at all the fault of the person on the other side of the dialog.
Not everyone has the opportunity to get something that isnt customer facing. Most jobs created today are low wage service positions. People are tired and jaded at a world thats leaving them with a fucked up environment, no social safety nets, dwindling job prospects, increasing costs to live without rising wages, rising authoritarian governments all over the world. I get that those positions should have a bit more tact but I also empathize with those young employees who feel like the world has turned its back on them and so they are just doing the bare minimum to survive. The world is becoming less caring for its inhabitants are you really surprised those growing up in that environment are mirroring the treatment they get from the world back to you?
Genuinely what is the proper response to ‘hey, how’s it going?’ Because that is not normal where I grew up but it’s normal where I live now and I always respond with something like “good, you?” Unless I know the person, which is obviously wrong because half the time I get no response lol HELP
“Good you” is the perfect response, its just a more personal version of Hi or Hello, no need to over think it. As for the second part if you know the person hows it going can just be a conversation starter, its meant to ask what are you up to, i.e. is there a light topic we can have small talk about that isnt going to be too involved. You can respond with something along the lines of “I’m doing good, such and such happened the other day that was nice, how about you.”
Yeah this is something I needed to adapt to as well. That phrase is not a question it’s just another way of saying sup or hi, you don’t need to answer it even with a cursory I’m good how are you, I just say hey or hi and move on to the next part of the conversation.
There is a huge reason for the person at the counter to greet you or ask how they can help: thats the fucking job.
I find it ironic that you’re throwing out lines like “big boy pants” when you could also do the same and get a job where you dont have to work customer service…you know, put on your big boy pants…and go get a job that doesnt require you to be a human facing worker.
“God I cant stand the smell of cooking meat!!”
“Then why do you work at McDonalds?”
“Stop being microaggressive!”
“But there are lots of other jobs out there where they dont cook meat, why not take one of those instead?”
“NO! Why should I have to change? McDonalds should change! And until they do, im going to bitch and complain every chance I get.”
“Oh, uh…okay, good luck with that I guess”
I stopped working retail a long time ago and the fact that you think people in certain jobs are worth less than you and should suck up and deal with shitty behavior speaks volumes about what kind of a person you are
Never said that. I worked retail for twenty years, dude. I went back to college in my mid 30s.
I know what the job is. I know what the expectations are. You need to examine why you consider both “Hey, can you help me find something?” and “You’re worthless to me and I don’t care about you” as equivalent in your mind, because that is the shit people are complaining about.
Nobody is telling retail employees they need to take abuse. What we’re telling retail employees is, being asked to assist a customer in itself does not constitute abuse, so please, hold the ire when I come to the customer service desk, the place that exists for that explicit purpose, and ask a simple question. That is literally what you are being paid to do.
Every generation is like this at that age. The hallmark of my generation, GenX, was apathy. Not that I care. Whatever. Never mind.
Hello. Hello. Hello. How low?
Nah. The “Gen Z stare” is the blank-faced look we give people that we think are idiots. It’s not that we lack self-awareness…it’s you. Gen Z doesn’t tolerate stupid. We just can’t be bothered to call you out on it, because that’s drama we don’t need. So we just stare at you, instead.
Regardless of how you phrase it, it’s still a lack of social engagement.
Do you think you’re the only generation surrounded by idiots? Most humans have been idiots for all of history. Is just that without digital media you’re forced to live with those people your whole life. Retreating into a digital world for your social and intellectual support isn’t the flex you think it is.
I don’t think you fully appreciate what it’s like to grow up with boomers for parents. Your generation can basically ignore them, without any direct interaction. All you lose, is a birthday card. We grew up with them in our face, every single day. You can’t argue with these people. All you can do, is stare at them like they’re fucking idiots…because they are. Confronting them, is next to impossible, unless you are prepared to go to war over the stupidest shit imaginable.
This isn’t our “social deficiency”. It’s theirs. We grew up with no way of communicating with a generation of Karens, other than deliberate non-engagement.
The issue is when people are so self-absorbed they treat everyone like idiots, so the “stare” becomes a default.
If someone says “good morning” and you just stare, you’re not “not tolerating stupid”, you’re rude. You know how much better you can make someone’s day by giving a friendly response? It’ll make your own day better too.
Yes it’s rude, but there are some people who think that insincerity, dishonesty, and wasting time is rude. They’re probably a minority even within Gen Z, and possibly just see the world differently from extraverts.
Congratulations, you’ve described a common human behavior that humans have been doing for all of human history. 😐
All this nonsense about this or that generation doing something incomprehensible to other generations is just distraction and noise meant to keep us attacking each other instead of coming together against the oligarchy that’s been systematically grinding us down for ever increasing profits.
I’m an older millennial and I’ve been doing the gen z stare since the late nineties. I often find the stupidity that spews forth from not just my peers, but what seems all humans, to be disarming to the point of disbelief. That translates to me staring at you blankly for a second. The times i don’t stop and recover for that second results in insults spewing from mine own mouth before my brain can restrain. The pause is for both our sake.
We’re actually giving them a second to tell us they’re just kidding
Exactly, it keeps me from quoting Forrest gump. “You stupid or somethin?”
That’s not genz thing. That’s the hot potato method of where you drop the potato on the ground and don’t play the games the sociopath wants to play.
This is a more widely used strategy now that mental therapy is more openly discussed. And the best way to win the game with a narcissist/sociopath is to not play their game. in the older days this was done in form of cutting contact. Don’t take their calls. Leave. Don’t interact.
Deadpan stare is a form of this as visual blocking.
Before the 80s so many people thought ‘I can change him!’ And after the 80s there were so many books about living loving a narcissist and how you can’t change him.
Now we just have the deadpan stare. And so many hack comedians from yesterday liken it to ‘cancel culture’ or not having a sense of humour cuz they can’t deal with being irrelevant because of their unchecked hatred landing flat
I guess it depends on the context.
Work in a customer service job? People are going to talk to you. They may ask you questions. Those questions may even be something you consider silly. But guess what? Thats part of working customer service! Youre paid a wage to…wait for it…serve customers. Part of serving customers is occasionally having to answer questions that you may or may not think are stupid.
But its not a big deal. There is no one on this planet that hasn’t asked a stupid question before. Even the person that works at the counter at Starbucks and is annoyed that Im asking a question and thinks its appropriate to stand there and blink at me rather than acknowledge I exist in some human way, ill bet any amount of money they asked a stupid assed question at some point in their lives and the person they asked almost definitely didnt just sit there and stare at them until they felt bad for asking it.
I guess my point is, the problem as I see it arent the people that play that game in their day to day, its the people that play that game when their whole job is to assist the public in some way. The context is different. You can do whatever you want in your personal life, but dont take a customer service job if you dont want to interact with customers. Youre paid a wage to answer those questions and assist customers whether you think theyre stupid or annoying or not. But dont worry, nobody forces anyone to work anywhere in this country anyway, so if that is truly too much to bear, there are plenty of other jobs that arent customer service out there, go do one of those.
Signed, a 40-something that has gotten the blink in response to questions like “is this where I pay?” when standing at the register at a diner and being blankly stared at for 5 minutes, or “excuse me, where are the restrooms located?” when Ive got my 3 year old in tow and they’re doing the potty dance, about to soil themselves. If someone here thinks those are the appropriate sorts of questions to just stand there like a statue and not respond, please help me understand how, because I cant figure it out.
That’s not genz thing. That’s the hot potato method of where you drop the potato on the ground and don’t play the games the sociopath wants to play.
Yup, I have heard the same complaints about younger generations since the 1990s about Gen X, which are now passed on to us millenials. I’ve always heard the same old versus young fighting since I was a child.
I’ve encountered what I think of as the Gen z stare once or twice.
It skews more towards the younger end of Gen z, and honestly might even be more of an older gen alpha thing.
What I’m talking about isn’t the blank look given after being asked a stupid question, although they are absolutely masters of that as well (and I love that look and use it as myself)
It feels like more of a lack of understanding that someone is asking you a question and expecting an answer, or perhaps an inability to process that question and come up with an appropriate answer.
My friend who works at a bank has what I think is kind of the quintessential story that shows this version of the stare looks like, a younger person walked up to the counter, he asked some variation of “How can help you today?” And just got a stare back, like it never crossed their mind that they’d have to answer a question and say “I need to make a deposit/withdrawal,/etc.”
And I don’t think it’s necessarily a feature of the generation as a whole, not that gens z and alpha don’t have their quirks, but I have plenty of Gen z friends and coworkers and I don’t think they’re much worse off in any particular way than my fellow millennials. I have somewhat less exposure to gez alpha, but overall my opinion of them is largely the same so far.
I think it’s a very specific subset of the generation with a perfect storm of social isolation/anxiety issues, maybe some neurodivergence, probably some overbearing helicopter parents, and COVID kind of hitting at exactly the wrong point in their lives so that they missed out on some kind of social development milestones.
Yeah. Totall agree with you interpretation.
You know who also gives me the gen z stare? My mom with dementia. She literally can’t understand or process things anymore… and she exhibits the same spaced out behavior and often you have to ask her things a few times before it registers. And just like Gen Z stare kids… they don’t ask ‘can you say that again’ or show any indication they had misheard or not heard what you said, it just didn’t register at all that you said something.
I think it is a cognitive thing where basic language interactions just don’t register due to issue with attention and focus. I have nephews who are teenagers, and they never do it… but they are basically banned from social media and other phone obsessive stuff and their screen time is limited to 2 hours a day.
Nah, it’s “old man yells at cloud”. Blank face is a long standing tradition in the retail and service industries. Ignore 'em and keep being yourself.
GenX here. I think it’s the name that’s given to a small collection of social mismatches between the generations’ expectations of one another and their social behaviors.
Gen Z in my view do not place much value on social graces as I define them. They’re under no obligation to please me, I realize. But yeah they do not seem to care much for social graces as I define them. Things like “greet someone before you ask for something,” and “say thank you before you leave.” I try to do these things at all times and I find GenZ do not always return them or give any sign they even saw them. When a cashier hands me my change and it’s time for me to go, I will say “thank you,” and imho it’s good social graces for them to say “thank you” as well or “you’re welcome” or even just “have a nice day.” But with GenZ cashiers, I say thank you, and then realize they had stopped paying any attention to my presence even before I said it. The second the change has been handed to me, it seems they consider the transaction over, period. It can feel abrupt. And in that moment, someone like me can be waiting to hear that “you’re welcome” and instead see the other person staring off into space. I have also heard of worse cases where someone is asked a direct question and instead of answering they just stare. I think those are more extreme cases but it’s believable to me and I’ve heard it enough times for it to be credible. It’s obviously not a universal, constant thing.
I also think that for this generation, being a retail worker is much more of a misery than it was when I was their age. Wages suck more now. People may be less polite now. And corporations have really tried to squeeze the most out of every employee. They have to do a bunch of different things. It seems they schedule the bare minimum number of people they can get away with. Maybe in my day kids enjoyed their job more because they could literally only stand at the register talking to customers when there were some, and in between horse around with the other workers. I think a lot of that slack has been squeezed out of the system. Frankly a lot of service has also been squeezed out of the system. I remember when waiters would pack the rest of your meal to go for you. They still did this when I visited Portugal last year and it was so nice. Many things like this have disappeared. Maybe this is part of why customers are less polite now. Service isn’t what it once was. Not always the fault of the workers.
The bit about the Stare is not always true or even most of the time. But it’s something that happens often enough to notice as a pattern. Once you’ve heard the stereotype of the “GenZ stare” you can start to experience confirmation bias of it. And really you never know if the person you’re facing is GenZ or not.
So it’s not a thing one should over-think. But yes I think there is something real behind it. Like a lot of stereotypes, it’s not fair to apply to everyone, but it may have some origin in reality somehow.
Boomers would call it the “fluoride stare”, in relation to some of them believing fluoride in water made millenials stupid.
I dunno. I’d consider it just a dumb generational thing.
It’s just another distraction from the class war. Anything that tries to divide us is just a distraction.
I have absolutely seen this and experienced this. Although, I don’t think it’s much different from any teenager or young person working shitty jobs in any decade I’ve lived or seen in media. The silent teen staring you down at fast food is timeless.
I’m Gen X and I have that stare when dealing with some people.
I call it the “dafaq” stare.
I’ve always interpreted the stare as a consequence of growing up where cameras (phones) are everywhere and nothing ever disappears from the internet. And as a result people who grew up under that are ALWAYS cognizant of this. So they express nothing because it could make for embarrassing video or photos. Being extra or try-hard are also considered bad. Everything is tamped down, socially. They are seriously just repressed, internalized.
Yes, there is a feeling of the world is now a panopticon and anything you do or say will be used against you and taken out of context.
