Cordless stick vacuum. Roomba’s don’t do as well with ash because of the spinning brush.
Feel like thats a broom and dustpan situation, both due to likely quantity of ash, and wanting to preserve them with minimal contamination for a urn or just ash spreading disposal.
If I order urns on Amazon, does that send someone a red flag email you think?
Actually ordinary household vacuums are notoriously bad at sucking ashes from human remains. There are special vacuums for fireplaces and such that do way better job, Id recommend one of these
How do you know this?
Shit, you’re right. Also, has this happened before?
I would probably never invite them ever again
I mean, they died in your house, the ghost lives there now. That’s how it works.
No body, no crime. Scatter that shit and hit the bar.
Look, I invited him in and we had a wonderful time until dawn. Is it my fault the blackout curtains weren’t closed all the way? Yes. Will Dracula be pissed? Only if he can regenerate from being disintegrated. The relationship was just getting a little too claustrophobic for my liking.
Hi, i’m Saul Goodman and did you know that you have rights? The constitution says so and so do i.
I would proceed to the kitchen and pour me a whiskey.
If The Sims has taught me anything it’s that you should A) Freak out, B) Cry over the tombstone that suddenly appeared out of nowhere, C) Flirt with the personification of death that appears to reap the soul of your guest, D) Rate the party as a real downer and belittle the person throwing the party.
Bonus points for wetting yourself at some point during the whole ordeal.
Dustpan, then jack daniels
I’d sweep them up before my dogs could eat them
Maybe steal a pinch or two and call 911. Eat some ashes with some mushrooms later.
What the… are you trying to become a vampire too or just a weird cannibal?
Option A. I mean if they have cool powers I’ll take some.
"God damnit, not again. " Proceeds to get broom and dust pan
Wait, how many vampires have died in your house?
Call a paranormal lawyer
What’s their Ouija board number?
I open my eyes and wake up from the nightmare.
Scrape the food onto my plate.
I’d get a fork, a knife, and some BBQ sauce, duh.
Dang, Lemmy has some unusual cannibals lurking
freak out and talk about it with people before it potentially happens to me too and maybe start a livestream so if it does happen it’ll happen on live even though nobody will probably believe it
