I’ve seen people consider even 5’7" as short for some reason so i’m curious if it has happened with someone

  • Crampi@sh.itjust.works
    494·
    2 months ago

    I’m guessing you’re a man ?

    I’m 5’4 male and average looking and a bit chubby

    Dude, if you have decent hygiene, are a basic human being and treat people with respect, you will rise above all the other men who are stupid, racist, sexist, entitled pieces of shit

    The bar is set REALLY low

    Really Really low

    Also if someone rejects you for your height consider he/she is doing you a favor by signaling he/she is not mature / has fucked up priorities for a relationship

    • blarghly@lemmy.worldEnglish
      54·
      2 months ago

      I will say that this is some significant gaslighting. The bar is by no means “on the ground” if you are a guy - unless maybe your bar for women is also on the ground. Like, could you woo a grossly overweight, extremely insecure woman who works at Walmart and has no hobbies other than complaining about her more successful sister? Yeah, probably. But idk, I personally have standards in both the looks and personality department for women I want to date, and these are not some superficial “shallow” standards - they are standards without which I seriously have no interest whatsoever in spending time with or sleeping with a potential partner.

      So the question is - where is the bar for the women you’d be interested in dating? Like, the cute, athletic, cheerful, intelligent, successful girls who usually don’t break down in tears because they are out of orange juice. And the answer is - higher than you wish it was! Because every other guy also wants to date these women, and while some of those guys are shitty, a lot of them are also jacked, hilarious, kind, emotionally open, rich, and yes, tall! If you want to date these women, you have to work hard to make yourself stand out - getting in better shape, dressing in a way that looks good and expresses your personality, becoming more emotionally open and sociable, having an interesting and fun lifestyle, etc. And then you have to work hard again, because unless you are just an ungodly top shelf man, most women will still not want to date you for some reason, most of which are out of your control, so you will therefore have to shoot your shot with a lot of women until you find the ones who are into you.

      Oh my God, YES!!! WOMEN LIKE TALL GUYS!!! Obviously I don’t mean all women, but a statistical sampling of women would reveal that “being tall” or “being taller than me” is a turn on for a significant majority of women. This doesn’t mean short guys should take the black pill and give up on dating because all women are shallow bitches. But it does mean that dating will be harder if you are a short guy. This isn’t a death knell for your dating life, but it does mean you will need to work harder at the things you do have control over, and it means you’ll get rejected more often for a specific reason outside your control.

      And meanwhile, these women who aren’t into short guys aren’t “immature”, or “shallow”. They are simply staring their preferences and/or requirements. Physical attraction is important, and trying to date someone you aren’t physically attracted to is a bad way to start a relationship. After all, you probably wouldn’t want to date a girl with a face that looks like she got run over by a semi truck. That’s not fair, she can’t control how her face looks, but also, fairness doesn’t matter because you don’t want to date her. Full stop. Terminal value. Life isn’t fair, and it isn’t up to some random person you run into to make it fair for you. That’s a big case of not their problem.

      To summarize: Dating is harder for shorter guys. This is no one’s fault, and no one is being a bad person. Short guys just need to work harder. Sorry.

  • thevoidzero@lemmy.world
    17·
    2 months ago

    My ex did tell me I’m shorter than she wants her bf to be. I was still talker than her by 2-3 inch but she wanted me taller than her in heels. And suggested I do exercises to get taller.

    I ended it with her soon after that. I think if someone has thought like that, there are other common patterns that makes the relationship too much to worth it. My wife now is same height as me and we’re happy about that, height difference of several inches seems weird/difficult to imagine now.

  • JayleneSlide@lemmy.world
    14·
    2 months ago

    Regularly throughout my life. I’m also 5’7". It seems to be less of an issue now that I’m older. People are going to like what they like. But people who limit their choices to strict deterministic traits tend to completely skip right over awesome people, and then they wonder why they’re partners are so terrible.

    So yeah, this shit is going to happen. You’ll also get chosen for your height. Focus on improving those physical traits over which you have control.

              • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
                2·
                2 months ago

                Why? If dude is gender neutral, then you should be comfortable using the phrase “I’d have sex with that dude”.

                • LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world
                  2·
                  2 months ago

                  I’d say it’s a expression that does have gender associations, but it’s not offensive or anything to call a woman dude in the right context. If anything it is usually used as a gesture of camaraderie, in this case because a woman has suffered in a way that men can understand.

            • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
              4·
              2 months ago

              Can be agender, can be a gender.

              Fuck dudes, hanging with the dudes, “… Duude…”, “sex with dudes”

              Same with bro or man. Also, progressively, defaults shouldn’t be masculine and people shouldn’t push that narrative.

              Like, “I like having sex with multiple dudes at the same time”, but, also, my gf is not a dude, dude.

              But ALSO to complicate things further, sometimes chicks ARE dudes or bros just because they want to be and that’s okay. And the more you think about that sentence the more your brain will hurt.

              I dunno. Just… Don’t be a dickhead and respect people, and it’s probably fine. “Gotta know the rules before you break the rules.”

  • zaphodb2002@sh.itjust.works
    10·
    2 months ago

    I am 5’4" and though no one has ever outright told me they rejected me because of it directly, it almost certainly is a leading reason I have fewer interested parties. It seems like most women specifically mention height in their requirements. It’s too bad, I’d date a tall woman. Karlach is my favorite.

    Being short helped me grow a personality and learn to be charismatic to overcome my height, and I’ve done okay, but it’d be foolish to say it’s not a huge hurdle in dating.

    • shalafi@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      2 months ago

      I think they mention it to weed out the liars. Insecure dudes will show up 6" shorter than advertised. (And woman 100lbs. heavier.)

      I did quite well at online dating and I think it’s largely from having honest pics, and a wide variety of them, and having an amusing write up.

  • Tehhund@lemmy.worldEnglish
    125·
    2 months ago

    No. I have doubts that it actually happens except in extremely rare instances. I wonder if some women blame a lack of attraction on height because saying other things gets an ever worse reaction?

    • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
      5·
      2 months ago

      Possibly.

      Not particularly tall but have had someone mention liking it. Mainly just kissing up.

      It’s not gonna really matter for someone who is into you.

    • Droggelbecher@lemmy.world
      3·
      2 months ago

      Also 172/5’8 and same, several times! Even from me who were still taller than me! Also dated someone who didn’t care and was 175/5’9 and when we went out together and my shoes made me taller than him, we’d get an average of like 10 comments, all from men, about it. Lots of friends have told me their only slightly taller ex bf wouldn’t ‘let’ them wear heels.

      Also, on a dating app, I’d get about 50/50 matches from masc and fem people when I didn’t list my height. When I did list it, I’d get mostly fem ones, and all the masc ones were tall. And fewer matches overall.

      • justmercury@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        4·
        2 months ago

        yes! it’s wild getting it from guys who are already taller than me. I’m lucky enough to have not had the experience of looking for a partner on dating apps(unless discord counts?), but i hear all the time about how absurdly superficial they are

  • yesman@lemmy.world
    51·
    2 months ago

    This whole height thing is an artifact of dating apps.

    Of course women are going to judge based on one of the 6 data points they have available. It’s not that they’re shallow by “nature”.

    Women will almost never confront a man face-to-face with the reason she rejects him because to do so is physically dangerous.

    I saw a meme on reddit today that suggested that an obese woman could have all the partners she wanted and that only men suffered from being rejected because of their body and this incel shit is gotten out of hand.

    EDIT: here is the meme: https://i.redd.it/yyp4m7axn25f1.jpeg