But you can start by assuming women mostly don’t bring things up unless they’re really bad, because they put themselves at risk by doing so.

Ideally I wouldn’t assume anything based on such broad generalities. I would base my understanding on my understanding of the person making the claim. If the woman making the claim has shown tendencies in the past of lying and starting drama, I will likely do nothing, and will sort of quietly wander away to find another conversation because I don’t want to be involved in whatever shit she is starting now. Though I will also probably never be present for this conversation, since I probably would have removed this person from my life a long time ago and would actively avoid interacting with them, because it is an unpleasant experience. If I know the woman to generally be trustworthy and straightforward, I will say “wow, that sucks, let me know if I can do anything to help you feel better”.

I’ve known several women who confessed to me that they’d been sexually assaulted in the past. My response, more or less, was “wow, I’m sorry that happened to you. Let me know if you want to talk about it more, or if there is anything I can do to help.” And that is the extent of what I can do, since I have no idea who the people who assaulted them are. It’s not like I can just bust down some random guy’s door and beat him up.

And you can (continue to) shut down the more “minor” conversational shit that normalizes and perpetuates that mindset.

Such as…? I honestly have no idea what you are talking about. I assume you are talking about the conversations where guys say things like “no means yes, yes means anal” - which, again, I have never, ever been involved in. Like, ever. I don’t know who these people are or where they hang out. I infer they exist based on second hand accounts if others. But they seem to not like me, and don’t invite me to their parties.

When my male friends and I talk about women, our conversations usually go: ugh, why don’t girls like me?; ugh, my girlfriend is being distant and standoffish; ugh, my girlfriend broke up with me. I’ve never had a friend speak poorly of women in general, say they “deserve” anything as a group, or anything like that.

So, again, this seems like a big case of “I can’t do anything about this, so I’m not going to worry about it.”

Right. As a guy, I’ve never received a nude pic of a girl from a friend. I’ve never had a friend tell me that he sends girls dick pics. I’ve never been in an online community where photos of women are traded like what is described above - I wouldn’t even know where to start looking for this. I’ve never heard about anyone I know having their pictures shared, or anyone I know sharing pictures of someone else in an unethical way. This is quite simply a social sphere that I am completely excluded from. The idea that I have any responsibility or capacity to police this kind of behavior is ludicrous - what am I supposed to do? Talk to my friends and say “So, look at any unethical porn lately, bro?” Or spend my time seeking out toxic communities so I can debate them/report them, instead of going outside and having a life?

Dreaming Spanish, if you are trying to learn Spanish. I seriously think it is the future of language learning, bar none.

THEY’RE TURNING THE BAGELS GAY!

Judged by whom?

I mean, it’s literally true. If they marry a citizen, they are legally entitled to stay.

This seems true only on short time scales, and in corporate work structures. On long time scales and with more collaborative, voluntary work structures, a group of people working together and supporting each other will almost certainly outperform a disorganized collection of non-communicative individuals. We can see this is true because, yaknow, society exists.

Thanks I hate it.

Look up “polarizing” as a dating strategy. You don’t have to attract everyone. Just the people who are into what you’re into.

Not really. I’d say that most fetishes heavily favor one gender or another.

Who said it isn’t working?

No, but a lot of women are really into giving pleasure to their partners, whatever that might entail (within boundaries). So if a guy is really into feet and shows it, there’s a decent chance his partner will get off on indulging his fetish. Plus, I assume foot fetishists give the best foot massages.

I said some, since I didn’t feel comfortable giving even general statistics here.

Prostitution should be legal and regulated, which would significantly lessen incidents of abuse of women.

Do porn stars and prostitutes like their jobs? Some of them do. For some it is just a job. For some, they hate it, but it is their best option for making money. In all these cases, this is not different than any other job, and I don’t see a problem with that. Only if there is real significant coersion does it become problematic to me.

There’s a difference between “I wish I had the privileges and expectations of being a boy” and “I wish I had a penis”

An addiction is when your habit starts having significant negative impacts on your life. So, for example, if you are choosing to stay home and watch porn instead of going to work, buying groceries, go out with friends, or sleep with actual women, then yes, you have a porn addiction.

If you jerk off on a Tuesday night before you go to bed… that’s fine. Watch porn, or don’t, it doesn’t matter. If you enjoy your life more when you don’t watch porn for whatever reason, that’s fine too. You do you. But regularly watching porn isn’t an addiction any more than regularly grabbing a beer with friends on a Friday night makes you an alcoholic.

Also, yes, there is a problem of the exploitation of women in some porn. Some porn studios do take advantage of women. But women aren’t “humiliated” simply by being in porn. There is nothing wrong with a woman willingly engaging in any kind of sexual act in front of a camera, whether it’s plain ol missionary or an interracial CNC gangbang. Many women enjoy making porn and sharing it - just peruse FetLife and you can see tons of porn made completely for free, just for fun.

Like, really. Unless it’s a problem, it’s not a problem.

Gonna go out on a limb here and say the obvious: being unattractive.

This question is always fishing for the “weird” things, or for ways for everyone to pat themselves on the back for not being shallow and expressing their moral standpoints in their dating preferences.

But in this day and age, it is always worth it to return to the fundamentals and focus on the obvious. So what’s obvious?

• Don’t have a fucked up face.
• Don’t be grossly overweight or sickly thin.
• Show minimal signs of aging. If you are aging, age gracefully.
• Don’t neglect basic higiene and grooming.
• Don’t wear ratty or ill-fitting clothes.
• Don’t be sick.
• Don’t be angry or depressed.

So if anyone is actually trying to become more attractive - here is a good starting point. Accept the things you can’t change, and work on the things you can. And yeah, also treat waiters nicely.

I mean, whether or not OP does the job literally doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. They are easily replaceable, and will be replaced if they refuse the work or cause too much trouble. The project will continue as planned, with the smallest increase in cost allocated to finding OP’s replacement. The only difference in outcome is that OP doesn’t get paid and loses professional reputation which will make it harder to get jobs in the future.

Instead of martyring themselves for literally no benefit and just ending up poor and miserable, OP should focus on taking care of themselves and taking actions that can actually make a difference.

Big shout out for enumerating questions. Makes it clear you need an answer for each one. Makes it easier to follow up if you need more info on a particular question. Makes it easier to pester the person with “hey, I need an answer to 2 by EOD or project deadlines will be significantly impacted” (copied to your PM).

People’s poor reading comprehension is annoying. But the right move is to do everything you can to get the answers you need, creating a polite paper trail as you go. Usually the other person will get you the info you need sooner if you pester them enough, with the implied threat that you are building a case against them if the project is delayed. Because if they don’t answer your questions in a timely fashion when you do everything possible to get the answers you need, it is their fault.