The best part about shitting yourself at a urinal is that you’re already in a bathroom so you can clean up.
The worst part about shitting yourself at a urinal is that you shit yourself.
I was at a bar, good ‘n’ drunk, went to take a piss. Bathroom is small, one urinal, one pot. I’m pissing away and I let a fart slip out, not a big one, just a good booty burp. The guy who’s back in the shitter raising a putrid stink has the balls to say “gesundheit”.
I wish I were that witty.
The most inpolite way to express politeness.
Once I was in the bathroom of this upscale theater following a Shakespeare play, when a very sharply dressed older man who exuded an aura of intelligence came in and approached a urinal. He dropped his pants and underwear all the way to the floor, raised his shirts with both of his hands and held them above his exposed nipples, then pushed his hips as far as he could into the urinal to piss hands-free. The incongruity of what I was seeing left me stunned, and made me forget to pee until he had completely left the bathroom.
If you don’t want to be in the thunderzone leave a 1 urinal gap
That’s how you get beyond thunderzone.
I can never pee beyond thunderzone because Tina Turner is so intinadating.
I just piss in the sink, to be safe.
Sink pissers rise up!
So don’t stare at people at the urinal next to you and they won’t react defensively.
Look dude my hog looks really weird and if they’re gonna stare at Little Biggums Piggums 3rd Jr, I’m gonna stare at “Mr Pisser” or whatever boring bullshit name they gave their falsie.
Oops, now it’s a mudslide.
I think you call the shit lightning.
Thunder and lightning. The stuff that makes life exciting.
One time I was in this bar bathroom in Korea at the urinal doing my business and this Korean guy comes in and goes to the urinal next to me and starts doing his. A few seconds in he looks over at the big foreigner (me) and sticks out his free hand in a handshake gesture and says “Nice to meet you.” Different culture…
Good push!
