I was raised to address strangers and those I wish to show social deference to as “Sir” or “Ma’am”. It’s a difficult habit to break, as it is deeply engrained.
What is an equivalent gender neutral honorific that is relatively common in English? If I can’t break the habit I’d rather have a substitute word to use instead of an awkward pause in the middle of addressing someone
I’d just use Google to ask but I’d rather ask the people directly rather than an AI generated answer based off of Reddit threads
ETA: I suppose if Yessir and Yes’m work, Yesn’t could too? Mostly joking… but maybe… 🤔
“OI CUNT” 🇦🇺
Mage
I’ve seen enough posts related to etymology or historical use of words where they, either misrepresent the facts to fit a narrative or just make shit up, that I try to look it up my self. I also find etymology fascinating so that helps.
In this case they are absolutely right.
Both Mr and. Mrs,ms are derived from master and mistress (teachers) and both of those words stem from the Latin word Magister.
Edit: fun fact the English verb stick is the same word as the noun stick and comes from the same origin the Germanic word stik which also meant a piece of wood and to pierce/adhere or sharp. But wait it’s older than that the Latin word stigare also means pierce. And share the same ancestry, namely indo-european. Turns out we humans have been talking about sticks for a long time.
…why not just “magister” and avoid a word that already has very strong, current connotations with fantasy?
Let’s hit “magister” and then work our way down. I swear to god I’d change the shit out of my pronouns to fit mage.
The issue, I guess, is that Mr./Ms. have had centuries to be normalized into common use, whereas “magister” still holds a bit of prestige or honor to it. I’m just spitballin’. I’m definitely going to read more into this when I have some time.
Although it was also my first choice, magister is masculine. Latin is a gendered language (with more than just m/f) and AFAIK magister isn’t neutral.
It doesn’t have to carry that genderedness into English.
…crap, I’m cis male and I wanna be addressed as “mage”…
You can just do that ya know. Just be a wizard. Tell people to address you as such. Don’t even have to be trans you can change your name and everything
I work with magical lights that spring forrh from runes written in gold powered by ancient ichor and magic rocks.
I am legit going to use Magister as a replacement option for Mr/Mrs. It’s formal, archaic, and gender neutral. That’s the trifecta right there
Some of my friends use “yes them” jokingly to replace yes sir/yes ma’am. Certainly not correct in any grammatical way, but it does flow well enough and is kindof funny as long as the person being addressed doesnt mind.
Ran into that problem with my enby friend. Specifically in the jokey context, like when a friend asks you to do something and you say “Yes Sir!” Or “Yes Ma’am!” in a kind of over the top way. They hadn’t really thought about it either and they were flummoxed too. We wound up with “Yes Colonel!”
Yes chef!
Personally, I like “Sir” as in the Star Trek/Orville usage. It did happy things to my brain when the crew on the Orville referred to Commander Kelly Grayson (a cis woman) as “Sir”, respectfully referring to her by her proper title as a commanding officer. That was cool. I like the gender neutral “Sir” a lot.
But for casual usage, “Friend” or “Neighbor” is nice. “Hey, neighbor, you dropped this.” “Excuse me, friend, lemme reach around you here.”
Yeah I think “sir” trumps madam because it’s professional
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Ok so reading the comments, from Appalachia, and I didn’t see it about anyone specific.
So the reason why nothing seems correct is because nothing new will have the same level of cultural history. If you’re trying to show social deference to people things like “friend” or “pal” won’t work, and “chief” sounds too informal.
You can still use “sir” and “ma’am” under most circumstances, so the question is more about your circumstances.
Are you trying to find something that replaces those honorifics all together, or do you want a backup third option in case someone says they are non binary?
Are you still in the same culture, or have you moved to a culture that doesn’t emphasize honorifics like you were raised with?
You’re amazing and so are your questions.
I’m looking for a third option for sir/ma’am, and a substitute for Chief that’s a bit more formal.
The culture I’m in now is not as formal, this isn’t so much finding something to work within the culture of this area as it is to marry my culture to the one I find myself in. I have very little to connect me to my people here and so the traditions I choose to keep are more important as a result. I like saying sir/ma’am. It’s the verbal equivalent of holding the door open for someone. But for some people being addressed that way is invalidating, and I want to meet people where they are, not force them to come to me.
I like Magister as a third option for Mr/Mrs., and Professor as a more formal Chief. But sir/ma’am has me stumped
Well if you want to keep a similar motif, Cap’n is vaguely formal, vaguely military esque, and it’s gender neutral. Could be seafaring or land based.
You probably won’t find anything with the same level of formality as sir/ma’am, so you’re going to have to compromise a little bit on that front, but I think people will like the attempt regardless!
Not OP but I think that’s a darn good suggestion.
Reminds me of Dana calling Dr Robby «Cap» on The Pitt.
I truly admire your intent in this quest of yours. Admirable.
♥️
Clearly we need to start adopting Japanese honorifics that way we can just call people -san.
There’s like, 20 or more honorifics in Japanese. I think that -sama is more culturally equivalent for the Appalachian sir/ma’am, but those honorifics, iirc, usually have to go with a name or a job or something, while the Appalachian sir/ma’am can be used with strangers.
I’ve asked people to call me ‘it’. Hasn’t happened yet.
Yesn’t, I can do that
Just say Y’all, it pretty much covers that
Fucker!
Sup, bozo?
Gentleperson?
Now that’s just too nice. I like to start with a slight insult just to make sure people know where they stand.
RoboCop “citizen”
The scousers (people from Liverpool, England, UK) have a very useful one in their dialect, “Youse” (pronounced Ewes, like the sheep)
And it’s gender neutral, but also double as a group pronoun
Youse gonna use that?
(Person, are you going to use that?)
Hey youse, heading out?
(Depends on context, can be singular, can be group, either “Person, are you going to go outside?” or “People, are you going to go outside?”)
It’s v useful
Pittsburg is similar. Yens
Huh, it’s similar to the Glasgow, Scotland, UK gender neutral one, yons
Chief is the only correct answer.
I often call people chief. One time I started to say Yessir, realized midway the person I was taking to might not appreciate the label, tried to change lanes and say Yeah, Chief, and wound up saying Yes Chef.
We had a really good conversation about The Bear TV series afterwards
I mean chef literally means chief
This is hard.
Buddy? Sounds dismissive.
My friend? Sounds like you’re a scammer or a slimy salesperson.
Pal? Sounds mildly aggressive.
Dude? Arguably masculine.
Gen Alpha might have it right – “bro” seems to be gender neutral and used by both boys and girls.
Dude is absolutely gender neutral, didn’t you learn anything from Good Burger?
I agree, but not everyone agrees. And the problem with these “honourifics” (or whatever these are called) is that you have to get them right before the recipient heard them.
Good Burger came out 30 years ago and is only notable because there’s a song about it, dude was gender neutral before that. I’m not gonna change my speech to accommodate someone’s anachronistic definition of a word lol
I think technically it’s “bru”, possibly “bruh”
I don’t know about all gen-x but I feel a strong aggressive feeling at ‘bruh’. Maybe the legion of kids saying it so often that you wish for a ‘literally’ as respite has given me opinions.
I assume this is what getting old feels like is all. We rolled our eyes at the adults who rolled their eyes at things we said that were “cool”. And now we roll our eyes at the young kids (who are in their 30s now). heh
I think young Millennials and Zoomers said “bruh”, and it was mostly used ironically.
Younger Zoomers (I think?) started using “bro” unironically, and it caught on big time with Gen Alpha. At least from what I’ve heard.
I like referring to all as boss or chief.
Sounds like something a food truck vendor selling spicy shawarmas would say.
Sounds like something a villain’s goon would say.
