In the Second Scroll of Wen the Eternally Surprised, a story is written concerning one day when the apprentice Clodpool, in a rebellious mood, approached Wen and spake thusly:
“Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom in sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment?”
Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: “A fish!”
And Clodpool went away, satisfied.
I love how, even never having read this before, I know it’s Terry Pratchett
Here’s a legit Zen koan that fits the bill:
Mumonkan number 14: Nansen kills the cat
Once the monks of the Western and Eastern Halls were arguing about a cat. Nansen, holding up the cat, said, “You monks! If you can say a word of Zen, I will spare the cat. Otherwise I will kill it.” No one could answer, so Nansen cut the cat in two. That evening, when Joshu returned, Nansen told him of the incident. Joshu thereupon took off his sandal, put it on his head, and walked off. Nansen said, “If you had been there, the cat would have been saved!”
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand and says “Make me one with everything.”
I was gifted a book called “Pointing at the Moon” that was filled with these things. Stuff like "A student was asked by a master, “what was you’re face before you were born? The student walked to a river, saw his face reflected in the water, and was enlightened.” Like wtf is that supposed to mean? Lol.
I didn’t even understand the title of the book until I saw this meme.
To the person who replies to this, with a 4 dimensional “TRUTH” of this 3 dimensional TRUE projection, please ping me too.
Buddha did say you could put whatever you want on your pizza, even if he himself didn’t like it, which is pretty fucking based as far as religions go.
Australian Buddhism is much easier to understand
- don’t be a cunt
- see #1
alas, not many practitioners.
I think I can explain. In Buddhism, you have to understand if he didn’t the last into the pizza, but from where I stand it simply is. I hope that helps.
That’s Zen Buddhism which is like that.
Theravada Buddhism is different, it’s actually comprehensible.
If you meet the Buddha on the road, tell him I said hi.
If you meet Buddha on the road, fucking shank that bitch, he owes me $20
Are you the hot dog guy?
Sure thing
Rinzai Zen to be specific. Soto Zen doesnt emphasize koans.
It’s also Chan Zen.
Mahayana can be pretty out there too.
Siddhattha overhears these doubts being expressed so he takes of his clothes, spreads his legs and shows the ladies what is there - and what was there is his kosohitavatthaguyha glowing with a golden light. Then a lotus appeared and from its centre a baby boy’s penis emerges which gradually grows into an adult’s. More lotuses appear, each with a bodhisattva in it. The sutra doesn’t record what the ladies-in-waiting said about this extraordinary exhibition
https://sdhammika.blogspot.com/2010/08/strangest-sutra-of-them-all.html>
I just have 2 verses in my personal book of Philosophy and Words to Live By.
Verse 1: If you think you understand what’s going on, you haven’t been paying attention.
Verse 2: There is no situation that is so bad that it can’t get worse. And it’s about to get worse.
My preferred version of verse two is: There isn’t anything you can’t blow up twice.
My verse 2 stems from when I was a medic back in the day, and we got paged for a “don’t feel so good” call. We got there and the patient was visually not in the best shape. I decided we were upgrading the call to a “swoop and scoop” to hit the road to the hospital with little delay.
We were lifting that patient out of her recliner and turning her enough to sit her down on the cot when she literally died right then and there. Which of course got the patient another upgrade from the “swoop and scoop” to “Oh shit! Oh shit! We gotta go! We gotta go now!” which also adds the “Inject ALL the diesel!” upgrade for the driver.
A quick check found no pulse or respirations. So I started CPR and my partner grabbed the 12 lead to get the big pads if we needed to shock and placed the pads. I did 2 rounds of CPR and we hit the analyze button. Which said no shock. And a quick check of the patient’s vitals showed everything was working again. If in a bit of a sketchy fashion.
We got loaded and roared off in a cloud of diesel smoke and made the 20 mile trip to the hospital with little delay and no worsening of the patient’s condition. After radioing in to the hospital with a patient report, the patient was met with all hands on deck at the door when we arrived.
I heard the patient died about 2 months later in a nursing home. One of the perks of working rural EMS where you work on family and friends.
And thus, rule #2 was born.
I know it is a shitpost but I think the goal is sometimes to force a student to move away from thought.
Anti-intellectualism? On 4chan???
Those who know do not speak; those who speak do not know
Unless you can master your anger, your anger will become your master
If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago
Everyone here is wrong and the gum on your shoe is a rock on your Lake. If you look at it.
‘Then buddha detonates 20 old people’
Zen buddhism kōans are intentionally incomprehensible https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p5Oi4wPVVo
