I’m thinking things like “Same-sung” For Samsung, because all their products look kinda generic and boring, or Ford standing for “Fix Or Repair Daily” because of the engineering and build quality, or “McDiabetes”, for obvious reasons.
There’s a gas station chain called Kum & Go but it’s also referred to as Jizz and Jet or Ejaculate and Evacuate.
With a name like that you could say they were screwed from the start.
There could be a whole thread just on the variations of that concept, but the most obvious for a gas station has to be “Pump and Dump”
I believe they just rebranded as Mavericks. At least the ones around me did.
Iirc, Maverick is/was its own chain. Maybe they got acquired. The name change seems like a good move.
Also, not to hail corporate too much, but the Maverick burritos are legitimately the best value meal for food to go in my area. About $7 for a big burrito that doesnt make me feel like shit, and that I can walk in the door and grab from under the heat lamp myself.
Haven’t been there in years but I recall the “Big azz” burruito was pretty good. I’m a Don Miguel’s fan though. The blue or yellow wrapper varities were my favorites.
Swasticar
And their premier vehicle, the CyberStuck
I have a queer friend that calls his GMC Yukon his Gay Man’s Chariot. When we go places in it he usually initiates by saying something like “to the chariot”
Whole Foods -> Whole Paycheck
Walmart is its own insult.
“Home Despot” is one of my favs from Joey Santore of crime pays but botany doesn’t.
I’ve heard “Home Desparate” before
The American embassy for McDonalds
Food court near me named Choices gets called “Chances”.
Pontiac stands for Poor Old Neanderthal Thinks It’s A Cadillac.
When I grew up it wasn’t neanderthal 🫤
Fiat: Fix It Again Tomorrow, Lotus: Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
I still call it reddit. It is already the name of a joke of a corporation.
In our household McDonald’s is nearly universally McZargald’s, based on the Calvin and Hobbes strip. They’re not much good for anything except a reliable place to stop and take a leak when you’re on the hyperspace bypass anyway.
Similarly, I don’t think anyone in my circle has referred to that Baja Blast, chalupa, and fried chicken establishment as anything other than “Cluckin’ Bell” for several decades thanks to the early 3D GTA games.
Before they became Microslop, they were Micro$haft in the IT world. The double entendre is self explanatory.
Idiots Become Managers
Broadcum
But I’ve also just seen IBM and broadcom be used a verb for price hikes or rug pulls.
Delta
Don’t Expect Luggage To Arrive
-or-
Doesn’t Ever Leave The Airport
Comcrap Slaveway Krueger Home Despot
Walmart = Wally world Target = tarj mahal
Throwing Tar’je in the ring.
- Home Derpo - because you’d have to be brain damaged to be there
- Taco Hell - sat in line for two hours because there was no escape, still got my order wrong
- Dairy Tween - every shift nothing but little kids working. still better than taco hell.
- seXBox - it’s a box, for self pleasure 🤷
- cornhub - corn goes in, corn goes out
- Micky Deez nuts (where you can order a mcderble quatah poundah)
