Yeah.

Anything by Douglas Adams, Kerouac, Ferlinghetti, music history textbooks, Samurai Jack slash fiction, public restroom graffiti, HVAC technical manuals, and the comment sections on porn sites.

🦡 🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🍄🍄

I was the victim of a drive-by ketchupping.

Deer hate you and are trying to kill you.

I am waiting for Country to finally throw off this hick ass pseudo-nationalistic redneck caricature bullshit clown suit and get back to its roots as a genre that tells hard stories about real life.

Cat: “You serve me. Do I make myself clear?”

Oh mine is very simple and not much to ask at all: I just want pure, unlimited, godlike omnipotence.

I promise to use it in every irresponsible way imaginable.

We can pay them in memes.

I’ll take a slightly different angle.

Assuming that my new homeworld is inherently aggressive and conquest-oriented, a make the case to spare Earth for the time being. Instead, begin a program of infiltrating and integrating into human societies with the goal of influencing technical and social advancement to make them as aggressive and warlike as us. It would not be difficult to do given humanity’s natural proclivities. When the time is right, introduce ourselves, form an alliance, and use them as front-line cannon fodder for future conquests.

I would dress up as a piece of paper on which is written the official Webster definition of “less.”

Or just go naked. Either works.

Sure was a lot of spare track in that little box. 😂

No one ever asks me to join the Illuminati. 😔

Right? Expose your baby to quality music, like Lorna Shore.

I’m just here to bask in the duality of humankind.

All gather and stand in awe at the majesty of the mustard tiddy!

When I was in college I decided to go drag for Halloween. I got the gayest dude in our dorm to pick my outfit, wig, do my makeup, and make sure everything was perfect. Then a bunch of us went bar hopping and it was easily one of the best nights of my college life.

There any love here for Icthyosaurus?

Just looks like a big derpy lemony shaped dolphin, with a snoot that 76% more boopable.

I joined the army because I had no idea what to do with my life.

35 years later I still have no idea what to do with my life.