“It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times…stupid monkey!”

“ The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” -Teddy Roosevelt

“This too shall pass”

If something good happens, it’s a cautionary warning to stay humble.

If something bad happens, it’s a comforting reminder that things will get better.

Tiān gāo, huángdì yuǎn
Heaven is high and the emperor is far away

Is one of my favorite.

Another is the a misattributed quote:

Les hommes ne seront jamais libres tant que le dernier roi ne sera pas étranglé avec les entrailles du dernier prêtre.

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

Though the apparent original is good too.

Je ne veux ni donner ni recevoir de lois.
Et ses mains ourdiraient les entrailles du prêtre,
Au défaut d'un cordon pour étrangler les rois.

I seek neither to rule nor to serve.
And its hands would weave the entrails of the priest,
For the lack of a cord with which to strangle kings.

The second line from the US declaration of indpenedce is a banger too:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

John Brown’s:

I cannot remember a night so dark as to have hindered the coming day.

Is also really good.

I can’t imagine I’ve read enough to know that but have always loved this one, from St Augustine, of all people.

Dance is a transformation of space, of time, of people, who are in constant danger of becoming all brain, will, or feeling.

The whole poem is amazing.

No.

“Black Friday Sale! This Thursday only!”.

“In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very unhappy and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”

Spoken, not written:-

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly

“The man in black fled into the desert, and the gunslinger followed”

• opening line for the Dark Tower novels by Stephen King, which is an absolutely phenomenal series that blends western and sci-fi elements with just a tad of fantasy and horror for flavor.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

People don’t think it be like it is, but it do