Welcome to pretty privilege, beautiful

Yes my friend the world is cruel and shallow, and your looks are a multiplier for all of your opportunities. Go forth and make people happy just by seeing you

I’m stuck in the opposite situation right now. I spent my whole life being skinny-fit. That’s thanks to undiagnosed ADHD, which kept me bursting at the seams with energy 24/7. I was always running everywhere, biking, canoeing, hiking, doing martial arts and gymnastics, climbing trees, buildings, etc. I had a natural 8-pack without ever going to the gym. I used to get lots of attention and compliments, and I would turn heads in public pretty frequently.

I never had a big head about my looks growing up. I never really noticed I was all that attractive, I just thought I was “normal.” It wasn’t until I started losing it that it really hit me.

I broke my leg in my late 20s. Motorcycle accident. It was pretty bad, and my job at the time (US military) rushed me to get back to work and back into the gym ASAP, which meant it didn’t heal well. I’ve basically had leg pain ever since, which has severely restricted my physical activity and almost got me kicked out of the military. Both my legs were compromised; I spent several years walking with a cane before knee surgery finally got me back on my feet unassisted. But I’m still dealing with non-stop aches and pains.

Adding to that… I fell down the stairs in my 30s and messed up my back, so now I basically hurt all the time every time I try to move anywhere. I’m 100% Permanent & Total disabled, according to the VA. I can still walk normally and I don’t look disabled if you meet me. But I’m basically in minor pain all the time, just from existing.

As a consequence, exercising has become an extreme challenge and I found myself gaining weight over the years of inactivity. I’m already 75 lbs heavier than my target weight and it’s really showing in my gut and face. Swimming is pretty much the only exercise I can do with minimal pain, but I hate swimming. So motivating me to go to the pool has been near impossible and I’m just packing on the pounds now.

I’ve noticed that people don’t give me much attention anymore. I haven’t turned heads in public in almost a decade now and people don’t go out of their way to help me anymore. Folks are more blunt and rude with me, which hurts because I’ve spent my life trying to foster positive and uplifting communication with everyone I meet.

Also, at 42 years old, I’m finally starting to show my age. On top of the weight gain, my hair is turning gray and receding, and I’m growing large quantities of unsightly hair everywhere else. People treat me like a tired old man now, not a young fit man. I’m having to come to terms with the fact that, even if I do get back in shape somehow, I’ll never truly be attractive again. Now that I’m aware of what I once had, it’s already gone. I dunno, maybe that’s just part of my midlife crisis, but it’s been one of my bigger struggles in recent years, having to adjust to a new me who doesn’t reflect the me I see myself as. I feel trapped in an ugly body with weights tied to every limb. Every little bit of movement is a painful struggle and it’s frustrating.

My wife and I have spent this last six or seven tumultuous years working on our diets. As a result, I’ve dropped from 280 pounds to 230, and my wife has dropped from 220 pounds to 130 pounds.

I get treated differently.

My wife, on the other hand, gets hit on, catcalled, random compliments about hair/shoes/clothing/etc, every time she goes somewhere. If she wears a sundress you can hear neck vertebrae popping everywhere around her. I’m positive she caused a car accident a month ago because one of the drivers was looking at her. She was always beautiful to me, now I have this hot milf wandering around my house grabbing me whenever she has a chance.

Definitely. I started taking karate in 11th grade and went from almost 300lbs down to 200.

I became visible at that point. People noticed me and talked to me. When I went to college, girls were pursuing ME. It was all very new and strange to me, and I definitely missed some opportunities, just because I didn’t always understand when people were flirting with me. It just wasn’t anything I had experienced before.

I’m old and fat again, but I think being fit for a while taught me how to project “thin guy energy”. Fat is not just a state of body, it’s also a state of mind.

There are a lot of factors to this. Especially if exercise was part of your routine to lose weight.

I put on weight when exercising (not all muscle, my hunger over compensated for the change in calorie use) and started noticing it was easier to talk to people, especially women.

Sure exercising might help with appearance a bit, but it wasn’t drastic for. What it does help with is relieving stress, building confidence, and day to day energy, all of these changes are generally attractive and make you more approachable.

You’re also probably feeling happy about losing the weight. People like being around happy people, it make them happier too, so all around a good thing!

Oh yes!

Currently down from 160 to 100kg (350 to 220lbs) and almost everyone is treating me differently. Many people didn’t make eye contact with me either on the street or in shops, some were visibly unconfortable (or slightly afraid). I had remarks all the time about how big (not fat, just imposing) I was.

Now cashers smile at me, people on the street are more friendly. It’s night and day and it saddens me in a way. I didn’t lose weight for appearence reason but for my health, and to see for the first time how people are (were towards me) judgmental is kinda sickening.

I just though people are sometimes a bit cold but never really associated it with my weight.

Went from 130-100kgs(286-220lbs) over about a year so far, still trying to get lower, but it has slowed down. <_<

I personally haven’t noticed a different maybe I’m not observant enough.

Congratulations on the weight loss, hope you reach your goal and feel great about your awesome progress.

They treat you like they should be treating everybody but don’t.

It was a huge headfuck and made me a little depressed, at first.

Yes, everyone treats me much differently. I get free stuff sometimes. It’s wild. And I’m still pretty weird-looking, just minus 90+ pounds, plus a bit of muscle and confidence.

Could be a combo of your weight loss catching somebody’s fancy, but also you yourself may be exuding more happiness which they return with smiles.

People treated me better for the first year then it was normal. My biggest was 286lbs (129 Kilograms.). I’ll never forget getting down to 168 and I felt like shit because of how little energy I had I feel a lot better at 189lbs-194lbs range but that’s because I eat better and I lift weights and exercise and I’m not trying to lose weight and I didn’t really use any weights going down but I did when I was trying to not feel sluggish from being too small.

That’s trippy to think, I had a group of friends in my early 20’s at my smallest and they were telling me to catch up but when I was an overweight teenager, I was being told to hurry up because I was big and therefore, slower.

I had the opposite experience. When I was younger and a very muscular 170 I did ok with women. When I got older and COVID closed my gym I put on a lot of weight, about 240 at my highest, but being older and having figured myself out a lot more I have fewer women turning heads on the street but women I actually talk to were FAR more interested in me.

People have their preferences and I’m sure more people prefer fit partners over not, but often the biggest factor in this change you’ve experienced might not be the weight loss itself, but the confidence it gave you.

I haven’t been skinny since I was a child, so I can’t relate. But it would feel very weird if people started noticing me more. I’d probably find it annoying, to be honest. Good job with the weight loss!

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