I woke up this afternoon feeling so strange. It’s not my room, it’s not my bed, and nothing feels familiar. My family isn’t here, and suddenly there’s a man, my husband, sharing my personal space for the first time. I don’t even know how to explain it, but I feel like an impostor just walking around and doing things in this place.
My most lasting memory is of being at the grocery store and noticing peach pies on sale. I suddenly realized I was an actual grownup and could just buy one and eat as much of it as I wanted. So I did, and ate peach pie all weekend.
It will take time for this new space to feel like your own! This is very normal. Start building your new routines - make the tea or coffee in the morning, plan out your day, start to incorporate little touches of your own through the house. One day you’ll wake up and feel like this was always home.
Have you put up any pictures yet? That can really help make a space feel more personal.
Left home with nothing but the clothes on my back. Thankfully my HS girlfriend and her parents let me stay with them. Had to buy clothes with the $400 I had and was riding my bike to my minimum wage job. It was simple times but good times.
Nothing unusual about it. As others suggested, take time to make the place feel yours, through decorating, routine, etc.
This is just something that takes a bit of time, especially since it is your first time in a new home without your family.
My first living away from home was a college dorm, and it did take a few weeks for it to feel like mine.
Even now at 50 moving into a new place feels odd for a bit.
I just saw on your previous post that you’re in Saudi and this is your first romantic relationship. Would you like to share a bit about the process - How well do you know your new husband? Is there attraction/interest/like or love? How much contact do you have with your family? Do you have friends who are married that you can talk to?
I think my kids felt weird when they went to college- not home, not their bed, strangers for roommates. But that was a temporary and they came home pretty regularly in the beginning.
I met him for the first time last March, and he proposed the following April. We spent time together and talked regularly from then until we got married, but there was always a wall between us, nothing romantic or physical. So I wouldn’t say I know him incredibly well on a personal level, since it’s only now that we’re able to interact without restrictions. I definitely like him and I’m attracted to him, but I don’t think love has really had a chance to develop yet. I have as much contact with my family and friends as I want, and I do have married friends and relatives I can talk to.
Stressful. The couch surfing and car sleeping because of the homelessness was sub-optimal.
Army barracks. ;-)
I moved out at 18 for university. I was too busy with all the other stuff to think much about it.
Sounds like you never had a chance to live on your own. Never had a chance to discover what your own tastes and preferences are. You were living in your parents house with your parents possessions, and now you probably have more authority than before (or at least I hope so, or this is even more sad) but every purchase, and every activity is still a compromise with your household.
This sounds less like growing up and more like a pet being given away to a new owner.
Most people don’t live on their own immediately after leaving their parents house. Whether it’s roommates or a romantic partner.
Calling OP a pet is rude and frankly sexist regardless of what you think of her circumstances.
I think her circumstances are sexist. I don’t blame her, I feel bad for her.
Is it rude and sexist to tell an abused woman that she should not go back to him?
It’s rude and sexist to tell a woman she’s an owned pet.
Yeah. It probably is a little rude, like telling a 600 lb person that they really need to lose weight is rude, but that doesn’t make it untrue, and it’s certainly not sexist.
Clearly I’m opposed to the sexist behavior of treating women like pets or property, that’s why I’m speaking out against it.
If you ever notice that I am unaware that I am being manipulated, abused, or mistreated, please point it out to me. I’d rather be told the truth than continue to be manipulated because “it would be rude”.
Shaming people doesn’t force them to change and calling a woman an owned animal is sexist whether you believe it or not.
If a woman is beaten by her husband would it be sexist to call her an abused wife?
Would it be racist to say “so and so was a victim of a hate crime”?
I didn’t commit the crime, I just pointed it out.
You didn’t call her a wife, you called her an animal.
if felt like liberation. freedom from religious tyranny.