Whenever I tell someone that I wish i was shorter, they are always taken a back(being masculine presenting). I am just over 6 ft, in my country, that’s a bit above average height. Its not like I am a gaint or anything but I am always aware how intimidating I look. Also, the country where I live doesn’t feel like it build for people my size. Mini-van for transportation that squish my knees, ceiling that are a bit too low for my taste, showers space that’s too small.

But also, I feel like a bumbling idiot (I suspect I have Dysprixa) and hate standing out so much. I may have Body dysmorphia. Its like how I would like to be seen and how I feel, are the exact opposite to how I seen. I feel small, soft, in a relationship, I would prefer to take on the "feminine " role. I feel nothing like a man.

Anyone else relates to this.

  • flubba86@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    edit-2
    3 hours ago

    I’m 177cm (5’ 10). Thats exactly average height for men in my country. But I’m always feeling like the world is build for shorter people.

    All work surfaces and countertops are way too low. I get a sore back working in the kitchen chopping veges or washing up in the sink because I am slightly bent over all the time.

    I need an adjustable height desk at work because when I sit on the chair, my keyboard is too low and I need to hunch my shoulders to type. I need to adjust the desk up by 15cm just to ensure my forearms are horizontal.

    When I’m sweeping with a broom or mopping, I need to hold it all the way up at the top the handle, and still need to crouch my back slightly to use it. I feel like they need to make the handles just 20cm longer for normal height people to use them while standing upright.

    Every car I drive I need to adjust the seat all the way back otherwise I can’t get my legs in.

    I couldn’t imagine how awful it would be like to be any taller than I am.

  • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    6 hours ago

    I’m 6’7. Yes. I wish I was shorter.

    I’d be able to have a normal childhood if i wasnt tall, instead of sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else play in the play places that have a max height/size limit to enter.

    I wouldnt have a terrifying phobia of ceiling fans.

    I wouldnt be crippled for days after having to travel on an airplane.

    I wouldnt have a bad back form having to bend over almost double just to do normal everyday things like cook and wash my hands.

    If you fall below the average height, the world can relatively easily be adapted so you still fit into it with simple things like step stools and what have you.

    But above average height? No, you don’t fit in, and theres no way at all to adapt to you. If you want a properly proportioned space, you’re gonna have to have $$$$ to build it for yourself, and listen to the constant complaints of friends and family who don’t want to visit because your house is to hard to use… completely utterly oblivious to the fact that all of their houses have been too hard to use your entire life and they’ve never given a single copper fuck about it.

    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      54 minutes ago

      I wouldnt have a terrifying phobia of ceiling fans.

      I have broken five ceiling fans. two with my knuckles, two with my wrists, one with my head (it was in a trailer).

      I live in a house with 10’ ceilings now, so not so much of a problem unless I go to the basement (watch your head).

      I wouldnt be crippled for days after having to travel on an airplane.

      I refuse to fly anywhere I could take a train instead for this exact reason.

      I wouldnt have a bad back form having to bend over almost double just to do normal everyday things like cook and wash my hands.

      don’t forget bathroom mirrors. I haven’t seen my reflection above my chin in a year because I just got tired of bending over to see myself. when I shave it’s just easier to use the selfie cam on my phone.

      • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        23 minutes ago

        don’t forget bathroom mirrors. I haven’t seen my reflection above my chin in a year because I just got tired of bending over to see myself. when I shave it’s just easier to use the selfie cam on my phone.

        Oh yeah, that reminds me of the chronic neckpain from being in a car and having to tilt your head so theres enough buffer space that you dont crush your spine against the roof on every bump

  • NABDad@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    5 hours ago

    I’m not always the tallest in the room when everyone is standing, but once we’re all sitting down, I’m the only one sticking up above everybody.

    Normally when I’m sitting in a theater, I do everything I can to avoid blocking someone’s view (slouching, sliding down in the chair, leaning, etc). It ends up being incredibly uncomfortable.

    One time a friend gave me and my wife tickets to a show (live musical theater). There were a couple drunk, obnoxious women behind us talking through the show. It pissed me off so much I sat up straight in my seat and stayed that way for the rest of the show. It’s the only time I’ve ever done that.

    They started complaining about me blocking their view, and left during intermission to complain to someone (what did they expect the theater manager to do? "Excuse me, me sir, but you’re blocking these ‘ladies’ view. Would you mind removing your head?'). They eventually returned to their seats.

    By the time the show ended and people stood up to leave, I was pretty angry. I turned around. I don’t know what I was planning to do. It’s not like I’m going to beat some drunken idiots to death in a crowded theater. However, I know I was considering stepping over my seat to get into their row.

    The older woman was too drunk to notice, but the younger one was sober enough to see the look on my face. She hustled them out.

    My wife has told me that I’ve terrified people even when she confirmed I was being perfectly calm. I can’t imagine how frightening it is when I’m actually enraged.

  • AA5B@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    6 hours ago

    Kind fit. 6’3” here. Most of my life I was just enough taller than average to be uncomfortable, but normal in my family.

    But now it’s more than uncomfortable. My knees are shot, making it hard to get in and out of cars. Of all things using the bathroom sink hurts my back because “standard height” is too low. Mostly work though, sitting in chairs that won’t adjust properly.

    Then again, some of that is because I’m also big. I can’t really blame anyone other than me for that

    But yeah, tall white dude definitely benefits

  • NABDad@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    13 hours ago

    6’4" here.

    I wouldn’t say I’d want to be shorter, but I have definitely experienced a lot of what you describe.

    In addition to being intimidating because I’m big, I also have real bad resting murder face. It used to bother me, but my wife is 5’1" (on a good day), and we’ve used it to her advantage.

    She’s often dismissed or not taken seriously. When she is being disrespected or expects to be, she brings me along. Everyone always treats her with respect when I’m standing behind her.

    I don’t like taking the train because my knees are pushed up against the seat in front of me. I’m also uncomfortable in most cars. I’m long in the torso, so even in an SUV I have to lean the seat way back to fit in. I currently drive a 2nd generation Honda Ridgeline, and it’s the first time in decades where I have space above my head.

    Clothing is difficult. I buy my clothing online because I can never find more than one or two options that fit in a store. I used to go to a outlet store because they had such a massive inventory, I could actually find things in my size. My shirts tend to be like tents because I usually can’t find the extra tall sizes, so I end up getting a regular 3x so the shirt reaches down to my waist.

    There’s another downside to being tall that you didn’t mention. Years ago my son (taller than me) noticed that you don’t see many tall, elderly people. I had to break the news to him that, statistically speaking, being taller means dying earlier.

    Bigger people have more cells in their body. More cells means more chances for cancer. More cancer means shorter life.

    So, if you’re miserable being tall, take some consolation from the knowledge that it won’t last long.

    • alternategait@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      6 hours ago

      I’m a pretty average sized person but I’ve stared having bespoke clothing made for me. It’s frequently not as expensive as I initially thought it would be and there is a magic feeling to slipping into a pair of pants that just fits.

    • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      6 hours ago

      so I end up getting a regular 3x so the shirt reaches down to my waist.

      the problem with that in my experiences is that most companies just make the shirts wider, as opposed to longer. I’ve had times looking at shirts in the store where the there was like an inch of difference in length between large and 3x large, but the width difference was astronomical.

      JCPenny seems to be dying out, but their online always seemed to have a good collection of tall and big clothes if you’re looking for stores.

      So, if you’re miserable being tall, take some consolation from the knowledge that it won’t last long.

      Not soon enough

      • NABDad@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        5 hours ago

        most companies just make the shirts wider, as opposed to longer

        No doubt. I’ve got a bunch of 3XL shirts that are at least 10 inches wider than I need them to be to get 1-2 inches of extra length.

        I think there’s also an assumption that if you’re tall it’s because your legs (and arms) are long, like a giraffe. I’m not built like that. I’m just big.

        • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          4 hours ago

          Yeah, makes finding clothes super hard.

          and then you wear it forever when you do, and refuse to give it up, even when its falling apart, because you literally have never found another shirt that fits like it.

  • user_name@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    edit-2
    14 hours ago

    Charles de Gualle, who was 196 cm/6’5”, once said1, “We giants are never at ease with others. The armchairs are always too small, the tables too low. The impression one makes too strong.”

    I’m slightly taller than he was and I’d add the three concussions I’ve had simply due to height. Hitting my head in my own home is a truly miserable experience.

  • canyoubringmesunrise@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    17 hours ago

    Not a man, but I used to wish I were shorter when I was younger. I’m 178 cm, which is very tall for a woman in China, so people always stare at me when I’m out in public. Men either feel intimidated or assume they have no chance, so they don’t approach me. Over time, though, I grew to love the attention, and now all of those insecurities are gone. I even developed my own little supermodel walk and rock high heels now, lmao. I love feeling like I’m on a runway while walking around and having people look at me.

    • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      15 hours ago

      Same height as me … I’m above average in Europe, but here in Vietnam most men only come up to my chin. I hugged one of the managers at work during Lunar New Year, and he ended up in my boobs, lol

      I’m glad you enjoy the attention, there are times I’d like to be able to blend in TBH. Rocking heels and towering over most men is fantastic as an option, too >:-)

  • jaycifer@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    13 hours ago

    I’m 6’3” and short among the cousins in my family. I don’t mind being a couple inches shorter in conversation. I get a little self conscious when I’m a head or more above everyone else in the room, which is a semi regular thing. I want to be shorter when I bonk my head on things that are low hanging for me. If I was any taller it would be even more difficult to find clothing.

    I wouldn’t mind being a couple inches shorter, around 6 feet even.

  • yermaw@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    16 hours ago

    I wish I was an inch shorter. Im exactly 6ft and nobody believes me when I tell them because thats the “minimum man height” and people immediately assume I’m an overcompensating manlet despite standing there visibly being as tall as I say I am.

    Might just start saying 5’11 instead. See how lying to peoples faces works out.

    • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 hour ago

      I am 5’11’’ in the sense that it’s true enough and I’ve never cared to double check.

      Telling people you’re just under the line can be a good litmus test for what kind of person you’re dealing with. Even if I were 6+, I’d still say I was 5’11’'.

  • STUNT_GRANNY@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    12 hours ago

    Usually no, I generally wish I was taller. Or at least my legs were longer; I’m 5’9, but my legs are unusually short, due to a bunch of surgeries I had as a kid. If my legs were ‘normal’ I’d be over 6 feet tall.

    The only time I’ve wished I was shorter, was to fit in to smaller cars. Recently, I tried to drive a kei car called an Autozam, tiny little sports car, and I had to take my shoes off to comfortably use the pedals. My head hitting the ceiling is slightly problematic in a car that has gullwing doors.

  • bizarroland@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    12 hours ago

    I’m 6’1", it’s right about the perfect height for a guy.

    I would say that I do have fairly long legs, so there’s a lot of cars that I am not comfortable in, and cheap plane rides are generally misery.

    But other than that, it’s not like I’m so tall that I’m bumping my head on things all of the time, and anyone who is so picky about height that they wouldn’t date me for being 6’1" is the kind of person I wouldn’t want to date, so that works out as well.