May I also suggest, even easier than saltines, a nice tall, refreshing glass of water? The perfect meal replacement for those times when you’re too busy (or poor) to eat!
Water, like from the toilet?
Ooh la la Mr. Fancy I Have A Toilet Man. No, WATER, like from a puddle on the sidewalk.
Can’t afford Brandow.
I’ll 1up you. Take half a sleeve of saltines and put them in a big glass. Pour chocolate milk in the glass until it is half full and stir until thick.
Bottoms up.
On an unrelated note, I disgust my wife.
Who hurt you
This beats my partner eating Funyuns with chocolate ice cream.
Does it though?
You greedy communist! If you do that, then Nestle can’t bottle up all that fresh mone–I mean, water, up and help the free market!
Man… I have to not buy saltines because I will literally just eat a sleeve plain.
I can just sit and eat a whole box of Triscuits if I’m not stopped, so I never buy Triscuits in any of their wonderfully delicious flavors.
Make little mini peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. That’s what my mom would make us when she couldn’t afford bread sometimes.
Nostagia
Image Transcription:
An image of an unopened sleeve of saltines with text over it. The text at the top reads: off work late? hungry, but too tired to cook? try eating sleeve of saltines The bottom text reads: you certainly will not regret eating sleeve of saltines
[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]
I love a good sleeve of saltines and I’m a grown ass man with a family and house and all that jazz.
I too love sleeve of saltines.
Usually with cheese.
Unsalted saltines are just wrong though.
Those are just “ines”
It’s like some sort of absorbent material used to clean up spills
It’s basically wallpaper paste.
My dad used to melt cheese and put salami on these and we would dip it in marinara. He called it poor mans pizza.
When I was in college I would make toast, put sauce and cheese on it, then microwave. We called it poor man’s pizza.
I would much rather…drink 3 beers!
Thanks Andy Richter, miss you buddy!
Fuck, you made me worry Andy Richter was dead for a second
I can see that now, that’s too funny 😁
I gotta do better on the print preview 👍
Unfortunately, I can’t eat wheat so I would severely regret eating a sleeve of saltines. Non-immunogenic saltines though, sure!
Honestly saltines are probably the only food I can imagine made of wheat where alternatives made of literally anything else will be the same eating experience
Anyone still do the 4 saltines in 1 minute challenge? No drinking!
nah i do the 4 sleeves in 1 hour challenge
It sounds so easy. I don’t understand why I can’t do it.
I can eat reams of Zesta saltines by themselves. I’ve tried multiple varieties and nothing comes close.
my gramma only ever had zesta, too. but always stored in a (now antique, i’m sure) metal nabisco premium tin.
Don’t forget to add meat, cheese, beans, hot sauce in any combo!
Ok, I know you like saltines but have you tried…
R A T I O N S ! ?
Just thought you all would like to know I’m watching the cracker episode of Good Eats.
Tried to watch it. Why do I have to pay to see it?
This, but make it a Ritz cracker mmmm
