It’s driving me crazy. Partner on phone, playing videos and games while the TV is running some YouTube reaction stuff.
I wear noise cancelling headphones all day at home because it’s just too much. The volume is so high I can hear it through a closed door. My PC is in the same room as the TV and I can’t even concentrate on a tutorial on how to do some editing stuff.
Partner is also suffering from depression so every freaking time I begged to please turn the tv off, it’s just ended in a 30 minute therapy session at home on how I can improve myself.
Anyone in a similar situation?
Videogames and YouTube reaction vid can both go to the same singular pair of Bluetooth headphones.
Your partner is not being fair to you. They don’t need to be listening at full volume, either. That’s obnoxious.
Shit, if I wanna plug my guitar in my huge amp and shred guitar all day, do I just tell my gf to deal with it because I’m depressed and have ADD? No, I use amp simulators and headphones.
Partner is also suffering from depression so every freaking time I begged to please turn the tv off, it’s just ended in a 30 minute therapy session at home on how I can improve myself.
Eh, what? What does being depressed have to do with you asking to turn off the TV? I feel like they are using this against you, but there’s not a lot of info to go by.
Perhaps a solution would be to get them headphones, too.
Your partner sounds like a complete asshat. They are being disrespectful of your shared space and gaslight and guiltrip you the moment you try to communicate. Childish behavior.
I would find a new situation.
When an Adult You Love Has ADHD Professional Advice for Parents, Partners, and Siblings - Russell A. Barkley
You, Me, and Our ADHD Family: Practical Steps to Cultivate Healthy Relationships - Tamara Rosier
I don’t think you seem to have any problems, but it sounds like your partner may have some things that they’ll need to work out.
People are creatures of habit - while it is true that your partner is being an asshole, I currently don’t have any reason to believe that they’re doing it out of malice rather than habit.
It sounds like your partner may need to seek professional help, because it is their responsibility to manage their ADD/depression, and it sounds like they may be struggling to do that. It is not your responsibility to manage it for them
Sounds like your partner may be somewhat narcissistic, and definitely emotionally abusive if they redirect and gaslight you that regularly
I have this with my kids. I got them headphones for every device. And noise cancelling headphones for myself. It’s a hostile existence.
Our noise canceling headphones were for my 6yo but I use them more often than he does. Sometimes when he wears them he cranks the volume on the tablet to hear it through those headphones and we’re still educating him on why that’s no good.
Sounds like your partner has a lot more issues than just add. Have you ever looked into narcissistic behavior?
Yeah living with other people requires you to respect noise levels. It’s just basic courtesy. There are six in our house and we have an earliest time that the shower can be turned on for example (edit: it’s an electric shower and noisy AF). Of course exceptions have to be made.
If he’s not prepared to turn down the TV to a reasonable level that’s on him. He knows it’s upsetting you and is prepared to continue upsetting you. That’s really unhealthy and inconsiderate behaviour.
One thing that might help is getting him to use headphones with the TV. Most TVs these days have Bluetooth support. If I’m watching a movie late at night (common) I’ll always use headphones. Again it’s just common courtesy.
Maybe he’s depressed because he keeps watching YouTube reactions.
I think talk to them and ask them if they can watch their tv with headphones and let them know your brain needs like 2-6 hours of silence a day to function. I know with like roku or whatever you can have the app stream the sound to your phone. If you have a sound system its a matter of getting a BT transmitter.
Can’t the conversation be on volume levels? You can say that you find it distracting and difficult to enjoy your own activities.
Yikes. I’m sorry that you’re in this situation. Is your partner working with someone re his depression and add? Are you getting support? At the end of the day, the only person you can control is yourself.
For me personally I can’t handle that type of behavior. I was working closely with someone like that and i ended up leaving. I felt terrible. Aside from her issues, I really liked her and she was very knowledgeable but working with her caused me very high anxiety and I just couldn’t deal with it.
