Let’s have a lunch and learn!
I heard “rightsizing” for the first time last year.
I have no idea what knucklehead PR dumbass came up with that but it made the following layoffs even more unpalatable.
The only time I hear rightsizing is for cloud resources. I’ve never heard of it in human resources. That sucks.
Bio break.
I don’t think I have to elaborate on that one.
This is a gamer term. I’ve never heard it in a business environment. Even as a IT engineer.
Lucky you, it’s all over my company.
I’ve never heard it in a business environment. Even as a IT engineer.
My friend manages a team of engineers and TAMs for massive companies that do stuff like make airplanes and manage phone networks and you know the names. They specifically produce a toolsuite and rent out pro-serv nerds to go to mammoth DCs and show people where they fucked up their cabling and double the throughput. Like, SO nerdy.
‘bio break’ is used a few times a day.
- Its unprofessional.
- Its gross. Saying something thats basically “gonna go take a dump” is unnecessary. Personally I don’t give two shits, but not everyone is as easygoing as me. Best to keep a professional hat on at work.
I did use it at work once and a single “Dude TMI” was all it took for me to stop. Online playing an MMO as a group is casual and often used as a trigger for a group break.
At work I just say “going to step away for a bit” and that’s all that’s needed.
Def all over the business world. It’s more polite than saying “okay, let’s have a 5 minute break from this meeting so everyone can piss and get some more coffee”
I like it because it’s so vague.
A nap is pretty biological! And nobody will ask why your bio break was an hour long.
Thats not so much a corpo thing as a gamer thing IMO.
“AFK, Bio break” is much quicker to type.
“AFK, Bio
This is all you needed to type. Kids are too lazy to type the rest.
I never heard a gamer use “bio break” lol
Uh. It’s been used for YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARS in MMOs.
^ usually just “brb bio” or “afk bio”, or just “bio”.
Its seriously old, like, “woot” or “LFG” levels of old.
Makes sense! I haven’t played a real-time MMO since RuneScape was new! Haha
Maybe it’s an American thing, because give never heard it used on European servers
I work at a school and that one gets used sometimes. A lady that helps us develop programming said it quite often and my colleagues picked it up, I don’t use it myself.
Bio break.
My friend uses that all the time.
It means a pee break, a tea break, sometimes a ‘walk rover’ break. When meetings cross that 44-min mark, it’s break time.
fuck. i hate this one the most.
just say “break.” let everyone else decide for themselves if it needs to be biological in nature.
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I don’t use that, I usually just say I’m going to go grab some water but it’s better than saying “brb ima go take a wicked piss”. That being said, I’d respect the hell out of anyone who said that
Referring to people, staff as resources. Nice and dehumanizing.
An old line manager referred to me as a resource in front of me once. I should have told her to fuck off.
I’ve heard “human capital” before. The soulless fucks make others a commodity by stripping the mere mention of their existance of its humanity.
There are many but I find “let’s double-click on that” particularly grating
MVP - as in “minimum viable product”
More commonly known as the slop of a product or solution that’s being slinged to all the markets early on without adequate documentation, support, usability, scalability, standards or security.
“Corner the market” also deserves a disgusting mention.
Anything they use to replace the word “layoffs”.
I still hate “leverage” used as a synonym for “use.” “We leverage technologies” yeah sure, when was the last time you had your asshole leveraged?
- Alignment
- Scalable
- Circle back
If you use these regularly I KNOW the meeting you just booked me into should have been an email.
Touch base too
FUCK touching base that one’s the worst.
Can we put a pin in that and circle back later? Maybe parking lot it and we can discuss it at the end of the call
Every meeting should be a fucking email.
I spend more time in meetings talking about the work I’m going to do, than doing the actual fucking work.
Unless there is a need for faster communication or because it covers a topic that people have strong emotions about and need to see how others respond so they don’t assume the other person’s feelings about something. There are some cases where humans, being social animals, do need some interaction beyond words to accomplish coordinated tasks.
The vast majority of meetings should be emails though. Just wish people actually read emails…
“We’re family”
#1 toxic workplace red flag
Can we “just double click on that” for a second?
shudders
I had a visceral reaction to this. If you’ve heard this in real life, my deepest sympathies.
What would a linux user say for this?
“Can we just dot slash that then chmod plus x that semicolon dot slash that for a second”
Collaboration. I have never worked at a single company that wanted people talking or collaborating on the work floor, or even when sharing a cubicle, let alone listen to any suggestion us peons had to offer. They keep using it as an excuse for RTO.
‘contextual knowledge’
this gem was put forward in all seriousness when the data didn’t support the claims in the report: “it’s not in the numbers, but we have a pretty good sense that this is true”
Streamline
I mean, yeah, but actually streamlining things is something I like. I work on helicoptersn so example:
Aircraft is broken because of a faulty component. So the maintainer has to go and sign on to our grossly over-bloated computer (which can take anywhere from 5 to 45 minutes to start up), look up the relevant illustrated parts breakdown and download it (because they’ve moved everything to the cloud from our previous local servers) which runs through our exceptionally bottle-necked security system (seriously, usually ~50-100kbps download on a 100Mbps connection), find the part, log into a different system to get the national standard number and see what type it is to find what system to look in to see if we have it, look up the part location. Look up the maintenance procedure card (which is not classified) from the same place as the manual, download it at 100kbps, figure out the operational check for the replaced component is not in the card but in a separate maintenance manual, go back into that system and download that manual, find the ops check. Try to print out both the card and the ops check from whatever printer wants to work today. Fill out a requisition form, grab the part, and now you can start the job. Basically, add approximately an hour of work to any task for this nonsense.
Streamlined: Have a standalone computer that is not connected to the internet, is regularly updated via approved external hard drive with the latest Maintenance Procedure Cards and manuals, pre-filled requisition forms (with locations) for parts, lists of consumable components (like gaskets) for each repair, connected to a standalone printer hardwired to the standalone computer. Pull up card, manual, form, and ops check and print in 5 minutes.
Finding time wasters that only serve to frustrate workers and finding ways to cut those time wasters out makes the workers and the managers happy, assuming the people doing the job want to do the job well and quickly (we all want to be here, so that describes our hangar deck).
I’m a fan of streamlining.
Like many buzzwords it’s both a legitimate good idea and a concept a lot of people with no idea what’s going on get a bug up their asses about and use to mean “shake stuff up that had been working fine on a hunch”
I can’t read this shit on the weekend you guys are killing me :p
Please socialise the requirement throughout your teams
