Raised conservative christian, took a disgustingly long time to lose some of my shittier takes
I recently saw a shirt for sale online that says, “I’m sorry for everything I said when I was evangelical,” and that really just about sums it up.
Fellow former conservative christian here, and I share that pain. I eventually came around thanks to a LOT of patience from friends who understood my background.
I try to pay it forward by putting myself out there and extending a hand to anyone looking to understand and accept others. I have had decent success with anyone who asks in good faith.
Same. Lost a very good friend because I was too slow to change, lost my family because I did.
I’m sorry friend 🫂
I didn’t figure my way out until I was in my 30s. Been out of it for over a decade.
I was brainwashed, my head was full of carefully crafted indoctrination. My extended family will almost certainly never be free of it.
We were subjected to an evil process from an early age. It’s not our fault. Losing the hate and guilt is also a process. Go easy on yourself. Takes a tough person to change their entire worldview. Only a few of us make it out.
That my dad cared about or respected me. After a family dinner, my wife asked me if he always talked about me like that and it just kind of clicked. Things like telling my kid, “If you play too many video games, they’ll melt your brain like your dad” or “why would anyone pay you that much” when I told them that I broke a six figure salary. She made me realize that this wasn’t normal and I didn’t have to sit there and listen to it just because of who he is.
I haven’t spoken to him or really any of my side of the family in almost two years now. Good riddance.
Marshmellow is not correct. It’s marshmallow. I learned by spell checker. Only took nearly 21 years.
I’m still reeling over cemetery not being spelled cementary and it’s been 20 years.
TIL, I guess. I always thought it was spelled with an ‘A’ too.
That misspelling means you’ve been mispronouncing it, too. (Not in a way that would be noticeable.)
Til
For the longest time I was under the impression that everybody has unlimited potential, that you can essentially take a homeless junkie of the streets send them through college, give then a job and have a functioning intelligent person come out at the end. That is absolutely not true. based on my own experience we all have limits and glass ceilings. Yes, we all live on the same clock, but some of us have to deal with so much behind the scenes just to stay afloat while others can breeze through life like its nothing. There are people who are incredibly academically gifted but absolutely inept in personal or household stuff, some people are thick as a rock but incredibly charming, etc. We all have our strengths and weaknesses but sometimes of course all the marbles roll into the right holes and you get somebody who’s good at everything they touch and are almost doomed to success.
There are just things that I will never able to grasp, or habits that I will never able to form because I tried my whole life and it never worked out. I consider myself as a fairly baseline dude, so its safe to say that if I have these experiences the majority of people will have them as well.
So you’re telling me we can’t just steal a baby from one of those secluded amazon tribes and force them to learn the quadratic formula so I don’t have to? there go my weekend plans :(
As a non American who has never been to the US, but grew up well within its sphere of cultural influence.
I thought that about half of the population was black, maybe 40% minimum. I was surprised to learn that it was just above 10% in reality.
They tend to be concentrated in a few areas. There was one place I lived where none of the dudes living there had ever even seen a white dude in person other than cops and social workers.
I was wrong about who I was for several years. A pretty unexpectedly intense DMT trip set me right
EDIT: This isn’t really the ideal place to elaborate on my experience, but thanks for the interest.
Care to elaborate?
Details?
I was certain that a gander was a group of geese. Why? Because apparently everybody who has ever used the phrase “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” around me was using it wrong. I just learned this week that a gander is a male goose. So based on misuse, I thought that the phrase meant that what’s beneficial for one is beneficial for the greater group, but what it really means is that what’s acceptable in the case for one should be equally acceptable for others in the same situation.
I’m nearly 36 and I would say that I’m smarter than most people, but this was a gaping hole in my knowledge that was pretty damn humbling to learn of and correct.
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gaggle” still works
Oh wtf, this one got me.
Is this just a “happy wife, happy life” variation?
No, it’s more like “if Larry gets a 10% grade reduction for turning his paper in a day late to you, then I shouldn’t be getting this 20% grade reduction for turning this paper in a day late to you.” It’s more of a call for things to be fair and give everybody equal treatment.
There was a recent court decision regarding Donald Trump that, more or less, appointing a special counsel for the purposes of DOJ impartiality is not constitutionally acceptable. As a result, Hunter Biden, who was investigated and prosecuted via special counsel in order to maintain impartiality from the DOJ since his father is the sitting president, essentially argued that “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” Meaning that if Donald Trump should have his case dismissed under the pretext of special counsel being an invalid idea, then so too should Hunter Biden. That decision was already generally seen as fucking silly, but the silliness was put on full display for partisan hacks and their audience.
Well, I just learned something.
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That if you weren’t part of “our” religion (my family’s religion, Catholic), you were basically living your life wrong and were an awful person. When I went to college I met people who believed different things, including in nothing, and I realized they were not, in fact, terrible, almost subhuman, people. I quickly changed for the better and that’s one of the best things to ever happen to me. It’s amazing how accepting you can be when you just accept people for who they are
It could easily have been the same for me, as my father is a Protestant pastor. Fortunately, my family has always been very tolerant and open-minded. That’s how my parents brought me up, for which I’m still very grateful to them today. It’s good to hear that you’ve found your own path, which certainly wasn’t easy. Respect, my friend.
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I learned last year that you’re supposed to floss BEFORE you brush. I have no idea why no one ever taught me that.
Yeah you loosen up every thing and then brush it out. Actually, I floss, swish, then brush. I end with brush because the fluoride concentration in toothpaste is much much higher than in most fluoride mouthwash. I’d rather leave that on my teeth after I’m done.
I floss, rinse, then brush. The fluoride content of toothpaste is much higher than rinse, so I’d rather end having that on my teeth than a weaker dose from the rinse.
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That’s only true in England, because they don’t flourinate their water. In the US, you get plenty of flouride from tap water.
I thought Brussels sprouts were baby cabbages until I was 28 and I finally saw them still attached to the stalk.
Cocoa has an “a” at the end of it. I was in college and was like, “haha, they spelled it weird.” Nope, just a dumbass.
A BLT is literally just bacon, lettuce, and tomato. I thought it was just the toppings on the base meat (like how a pepperoni pizza inculdes bread, sauce, etc.). I don’t like bacon or raw tomato, so I never had one.
There is no bone in the penis. I swore there was one until I made it to 3D molding and, as we were going over different body parts and their movement, I asked my male friend “Hey, where’s the penis bone/muscle.” He looked at me like I had two heads. I assumed it could do tricks, like waving and stuff. 🤷🏿♀️
BLTs also have mayo, and preferably a hell of a lot of it. They are garbage without it.
Until I was 24 or 25 I believed that women were disinterested in sex, and that sexual relationships were wholly transactional. I also thought I was hidiously undatable.
Nope. Wrong on all counts.
I’m in my 40’s and I still vacillate on this. :)
Opening bananas.
Watch a nature documentary showing me a monkey knew better.
Using my thumbnail on the long thin end and no over-ripe bananas I never had problems with peeling.
The word quay. I’m still mad about that haha
Such a dumb pronunciation. Cool word though.
I thought I was straight for about 17 years, thinking that also being attracted to men was just something everyone experienced.
Its nice to be allowed to have doubts about it too, without panicking, even though the final conclusion is that yes I consider myself straight. Its definitly not as binary as SOME people claim. And knowing that, I am also learned to be a lot less trusting of peoples world views and “common sense”.
I saw a quote years ago about “common sense” that really changed the way I thought about it. I wish I could remember now where it came from.
“The problem with common sense is that it is common, not good.”
It might be just because I’m relatively middle of the road bisexual, but I always liked the idea that most people aren’t quite on the extreme ends of the Kinsey scale, but like, a tiny bit bi at least.
I am definitely thankful for having a family that was very open about everything, and didn’t mind either way, though I do feel that the years spent not wanting to engage with the thought partially came down to pressure from peers, as anything other than heterosexuality seemed to be seen as alien back then. From what I hear from my brother, that actually changed a lot compared to when I was in school, and things are a lot more accepting now.
As someone at one of the extreme ends (though it can get complicated at times, male levels of testosterone make me slightly attracted to men) I also find the idea that most people are a little bi to be the case. In fact I didn’t realize I’d been attracted to men at all until I transitioned and that attraction went away.
