My 9 year old woke me up before 6 on a weekend saying “Dad, dad, there’s an emergency!”

I got up to find the bathroom covered in sand and water and a toilet full of sand and shattered glass after a jar had been dropped in it.

Honestly, I had no idea what was going on, and yet complete certainly that someone was doing things they were not supposed to be doing and that the fact that I had to be awake right now means that this was going to be a bad day.

Don’t worry though, there’s a happy ending. We sold the child to a gang of poachers and regained all the free time and peace of mind we’ve been missing out on. And with the profits I plan to buy a Miata.

I was camping at an event. I had recently finished recharging a large lipo battery (3S 9000mah). The battery went from normal to nuclear in a second or 2.

Thankfully I had it clear of flammables and in a lipo bag. Even so, it started 3 grass fires in the time it took to get it out of the marquee and wet enough to extinguish it. The event volunteers were there within 40 seconds, with fire extinguishers. Thankfully we already had it under control by then.

Lesson learnt, always use a fire resistant container to charge in e.g. an ammo can or a cooking pot. Also assume it can turn into a fireball with absolutely no warning, and plan accordingly.

Probably when my roommate tried to kill himself a few months ago.
My sister tried to hold his wound shut and led him outside.
I held the door shut to keep him from getting back to the knife, called the ambulance, and cleaned up all the blood the next day.

Still feels kinda surreal.

Currently helping someone go through the legal process post-car-crash. Just providing some advice for how to navigate it.

Shed on fire, last week.

A fire had taken hold in a large shed.

I ran 2 hoses and sprayed the roof down, and put out a cupboard with paints and cans.

Brought it under control and extinguished.

I’m a volunteer firefighter.

I was aimlessly swimming underwater in the deep end of a backyard pool when I saw an infant on the bottom, next to one of the side walls. I grabbed it, rushed it to the surface, and sat it on the edge. Her parents quickly came running. The kid was fine. It seems she instinctively held her breath once submerged and wasn’t under very long. The parents weren’t watching (they were in lawn chairs 10-20 feet away) and nobody really knows how long she was under. I’m still struck by the parents’ neglect. Also that the kid had no buoyancy and sank like a stone.

Saved Christmas. My father received a present and set it next to a candle. Nobody noticed it was on fire. I yelled fire and everyone stared at me with stupid faces. A ran across the room and picked up the flaming bag and ran to the kitchen sink. My brother, a cop, was impressed.

It’s been a long time, but last one was about 20 years ago. Me and my friend Danielle had just finished our open water scuba diving courses together, and went to do our first dive with a group from the dive shop - including one of our instructors who was leading it.

It was a shore dive, we all walk in in our drysuits and I stupidly drop my mask and lose it in the silty water. Danielle starts swimming around looking for it, while most of us are chatting above the surface. We’re in about 3’ of water at this point on the beach, I’m literally standing up next to her, so danger is the last thing on my mind.

Suddenly someone asks me if Danielle is ok, I turn around just as she stops moving, grab her by the bcd and pull her up. She’s blue and not breathing. The instructor is already on his way over, gives her some rescue breaths and she immediately comes back. We pull her to the shore and she’s coughing up water, paramedics roll up shortly after and take her to the hospital just in case.

She has gotten air stuck in the boots of her dry suit and was stuck inverted. Instead of doing the recovery roll we were trained, or inflating her bcd, she panicked and as a result somehow lost her mouth piece.

She never dived in cold water again, although we did go to belize several months later to do a bunch of diving. I kept up the cold water diving.

It really made me appreciate how panicking can completely fuck you over, and made me a very safety conscious diver. I always stay close to my buddy and keep a close eye on them.

My kid is Non-verbal autistic with epilepsy. One day he had an appointment with his neurologist. We are walking down the apartment stairs, mother in front I’m behind. He goes into a seizure. I catch him and hold his head between my legs so he doesn’t hit his head on the cement steps.

Suddenly my phone rings, it’s my sister. We are not no-contact but rarely talk so it must be important so I answer. Her first words as I’m holding a child actively seizing between my legs were “hey, so mom broke her neck”…

Helped pull a man out of the street that was face down drunk yesterday. Was driving past and saw a skinnier feller attempting to pull him up with one arm. Figured one or both of them would get hurt trying to move him so I turned the car around, parked up and helped sit him up on the sidewalk. Guy was piss drunk, about 60 years old and rotund telling me that his wife left him yesterday.

He initially was fighting the help trying to get back into the street but I talked him down and hefted him up to his feet. Had the skinnier guy go into the store and get some water to bring out as it was 90+ degrees. I helped walk him into the shade against a wall outside the liquor store and called an ambulance to pick him up as he couldn’t stand on his own. Talked with the guy while I waited for the ambulance to arrive, he kept switching back and forth from thanking me and telling me that he wanted to shoot the guy his wife left him for. Just keep reassuring him that things will get better and today is just a bad day that will soon pass.

Once the emts arrived, filled them in with as much info as I gathered and headed home.

Hurricane Michael. I was in Georgia at the time and most hurricanes dissipate and turn into big storms by the time it hits us. Nope. This was a CAT5 when it hit the coast and maintained to a CAT3-CAT2 by the time it hit us. I loved alone at the time, had prepped my Danger Room (inner most closet).

While waiting I had taken a brand new unopened bottle of Bibb & Tucker bourbon into the room with me because I’d joked if I die in hurricane I’m not gonna do it sober. It got really hot and muggy in there and the weather didn’t sound so bad so eventually I get out to try and look outside. I spent the next maybe hour walking from a rear window to a front window but it was late evening and you could only see when lightning flashed. It honestly didn’t seem as bad as Id thought, and when checking the radar the worst had passed us. So I checked outside with my headlamp and flashlight to see it had uprooted a tree in my front yard which had fallen onto my front porch. No real damage but it’s wild I never heard the damn thing fall. Nor did I hear the neighbor’s tree fall and destroy the carport in the back of the house. It took almost a year and a half for insurance to admit there was roof damage.

There wasn’t much I could do for my house since the trees were too big on their own. I tidied up what I could, grabbed my chainsaw, met up with a neighbor buddy and we went around the neighborhood doing whatever we could. Of course there were douches who wouldn’t lift a finger in their own yard but were expecting us to cut shit at their demand.

The whole area was without power for about a week. A couple days later we went to a friend’s house who was having a freezer party with the whole point of grilling food that would have otherwise gone bad. I brought my bottle of B&T to share because I thought i’d drank less than 1/4 of it while waiting out the hurricane. I went to pour my first cup and…nope. I barely had enough left for 1 glass for myself. No idea how I drank that much in 1 night with my legs still able to function and not puking my guts out the next morning

The last real “emergency” emergency I was involved in, was on the phone to someone who was talking to a guy on the edge of the bridge.

Friend of mine was out delivering parcels and stopped because of a crowd on the bridge. They were worried because everyone was watching and waiting for the police, no one was talking to the guy who was looking down at the water.

They called me to ask what to do or say when they approached them.

That friend of mine is now a therapist themselves and a damn good one too.

Last one was when I was the victim. Driving down a 4 lane highway in an SUV with my wife in moderate traffic when we heard tires screeching about 1/2 a second before being hit in the rear corner. We ended up spinning 360 degrees across 3 lanes of the highway in a matter of a couple seconds. How we weren’t hit by any other cars I have no idea. It was the scariest few seconds of my life.

The other driver was ultimately arrested for DUI.

A couple years ago I was moving my dad cross country back to the city where our family lives because my stepmom was separating from him after a couple years of his heavy alcoholism. When I got there he had been drinking again so I had to call my uncle to fly over last minute so he could drive the uhaul and I could drive my dad’s car with him in it.

Just past Louisville on the way to Indianapolis he said he was feeling funny and seeing light. I was a little concerned and I don’t remember what I said, I just remember him saying “okay, I trust you.” A minute later he looked at the corner of the car, said “oh my water,” while reaching for a cup that wasn’t there, and his seizure started. I don’t remember exactly why I didn’t immediately pull over to the shoulder, instead I sped up to get ahead of my uncle and take the next exit. My dad was already secured in place by his seatbelt, but it seemed like he choking on something, so I had to bang his chest with my fist a couple times while yelling “breathe dammit!” That worked, but he wasn’t conscious.

I pulled over, got in a travel center parking lot right next to the exit, felt lucky because I saw the uhaul pulling in behind me, and ran around to get at him. He started to come to and I dredged up my one first aid class from high school to check his memory/mental state. He could answer my general questions about the current year, president, etc. but then he looked around and asked why his dog and my uncle were there as they got out of the now parked uhaul. It appeared that his memory of the past couple days was messed up. I called my stepmom and she said that sort of thing had happened before.

I guess he hadn’t gone to a hospital after his withdrawal seizures in the past so we decided to continue to Indianapolis, monitor him, and go to a hospital there if something more happened. I was very disconcerted by his lack of memory for the last couple days, but like half an hour later he referred to something recent and after asking his recollection had returned at least to some degree.

There weren’t any other health issues beyond him feeling like shit, so we were able to make it the rest of the way home the next day after crashing at a hotel.

broke my fucking ankle at the Dead Baby Downhill Afterparty falling off the side of like a 10 or 15 foot bridge lol

had to go to the hospital. that was a week ago. still here