Being immune to the vagaries of pop culture and being pleasantly baffled when celebs make the news and you have no fucking idea who they are.
It’s also kind of wild because a lot of the really, really famous young people look entirely the opposite of the super-good-looking A-listers of the past. Guess its great that the younger generation seem less superficial than we were, but my programming struggles to process it when I see some pasty, odd looking dweeb and find out they’re outstreamng the Beatles or whatever.
Turning 40 freaked me out a bit, but it hasn’t been that bad, outside of the whole “collapsing society” thing that’s been going on the last several years. I have a wonderful wife and kid, chickens, a dog, a cat with a heart full of disdain, and two dorky cars. I have good neighbors, a decent job, I honestly feel kinda guilty for how well I’ve been doing since I turned 40.
Having habits that you have honed to benefit you and having enough experience to develop forethought.
Experiencing all the various pain you only ever read about.
Oh, wait…
Most of the advantages don’t come from being over 40, but rather, from the experience of having lived over 40 years. What you have is knowledge and perspective. You can make better choices, fall into fewer traps. It’s that “wisdom” thing you may have heard of.
Also, as most people over 40 have been working for some time now, many of us (though definitely not all) have reached a different phase of their life financially. In my 20s, when things went wrong it was generally like “well, this is my life now”, but in my 40s when something goes wrong it’s more often like “ok, how much will it cost for this problem to go away?”. And don’t forget, with all of that wisdom we have, sometimes we can just solve the problem, but when that won’t work, throwing money at problems is generally effective.
Finally, I think someone already said it, but it’s worth repeating. You stop giving a shit about a lot of things, and it’s liberating. It feels like honesty and confidence and contentment.
This is the right answer.
You don’t have to wait as long to die.
You no longer fear death, you yearn for it
Emotional regulation. Better pay, if you have been able to work consistently. Kids older, easier to deal with. Happier, and can make better decisions because we are not so hotheaded.
I agree, I really cringe at emotional social choices I made 20 years ago.
However, I think the better pay is because I have 17 years experience in my field. If I started today, I wouldn’t earn the same because I wouldn’t yet be performing at my current capacity. It’s easier because we went through the suck already.
Same. Experience is why the pay gets better and getting experience does suck, but all those mistakes and problems pay off in knowledge and judgement.
Honestly, the only disadvantage is that you can start to feel your body breaking down.
Everything else just gets better. You’re wiser, smarter, more confident, less bothered, and you have fewer fucks to give.
And honestly, I look hotter now than I did in my twenties or thirties.
If only the world didn’t keep on getting worse every year.
if you do put in the work you can feel better than when you were younger.
you see all this carastrophic obesity going on/ insomnia/stress and its no wonder people are feeling shit all the time. you can feel your body breaking down before 40.
not like youre going to reverse aging but you can at least give yourself and your loved ones a break from dealing with something like an early stroke or unable to physically care for yourself for a significant part of your life.
Yeah, I’m trying to get better at that. More exercise, more stretching, more vegetables in my diet. It’s a process, but I’m starting to feel the difference.
Awesome! same. agreed it is a process. I kind of wish this kind of thing was more normalized so that it would feel less like a massive adjustment of shaking off the sugar/salt/fat/sitting/drama addictions imposed by so much of the media and capitalism.
As a 45 year old white man, I feel much more comfortable in giving my opinion and uneducated wisdom to others.
gathers around for the mansplaining
Not giving a shit about so much stuff.
Giving less fucks in general
Depends on the person, but in my case:
- Financial stability
- Fewer worries
- I’ve learned to relax and not take things too seriously. Especially when it comes to myself.
- I finally know what I’m gonna do “when I grow up”
- Time and resources to spend on my hobbies
Hard emphasis on “Depends on the person.” I have a friend in their early 40s who currently can’t meet anything on this list due to financial hardships and unstable living conditions.
I also have two elderly friends who are unhoused due to all the shelters being booked as a result of the heat.
Fuck Amerikkka by the way.
I can +1 this. I’m that guy. Especially #1,2 &4…
If my landlord dies (she’s in her 70s and not doing well) I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do. I have an absurdly low rent for the area I’m in (1,400/month +utilities for a shit garage “apartment” is considered cheap here…) and if I have to move it will be out of the state and I have to leave my job… Being an uneducated piece of shit my job prospects, especially in this economy, are pretty much nil.
I finally know what I’m gonna do “when I grow up”
how? I know after 40 I just resigned myself I will not be something else when I would grew up (mechanic, doctor, lawyer, whatever) and that I’ll be a software developer for the rest of my life :-/
It’s mostly acceptance that you are already grown up, and a career change involves financially weighing the benefits of the new career vs the lost income to train for it. Add to it the fact that the working runway gets shorter and shorter which reduces the financial payoff, and you’re not changing careers after your 40s unless it’s for love/enjoyment.
I think we were sold a lot of Hollywood bullshit about living for your job and working all evening or dream jobs that involved taking our laptops to Starbucks to plan parties for the rich and famous. But at the end of the day, a job is a job - nobody would pay you to do it if it was that fun. And so my choice is to make as much as I can to allow me to enjoy my leisure time, which means staying in my current career where I have already climbed the ladder.
Luck, basically. I landed a career that I actually enjoy, it pays decently, and I’m given a lot of freedom and flexibility. I tried having a “normal job”, but in my mid 30s I concluded that normal jobs are for normal people, so I reached out to some former coworkers and got back into offshore seismic survey. I have since landed a supporting role where most of it is done from home.
I still enjoy being a software developer, I also WFH since COVID which is incredible
Experience.
As long as you stay current and are willing to be malleable, your mind is a weapon forged with time.
I just turned 60, and in the wake of my divorce 5 years ago I’ve made a dedicated effort to get my health and fitness in order, and am now in the best physical condition of my life. As I recently re-entered the dating pool, I’ve discovered that being a fit, good-looking man over 40, I’m in high demand.
Roughly half of all Americans are overweight, and I have no doubt that percentage increases significantly in men over 40. As a consequence, I have access to more attractive women than I’ve ever had in my life, and older women can be quite aggressive.
In the U.S., at age 30 there are roughly 120 single men per 100 single women. By age 45 there are only 95 single men per 100 single women, and by age 55 there are only 57. That is a massive shift that completely changes the power dynamic. There are a LOT of attractive women over 40, and I’m finding that while I did very well with women in my younger days, that pales in comparison to my experience today.
This was true for me as a woman as well. Like when I was younger I was middle good looking, maybe average, but as I got older I moved up because so many people got fat or let go. Like just by maintaining I got relatively better looking compared to peers.
And I can confirm, good looking and fit guys my age are not common but so hot!
Not giving a shit what other people think of you. I think this starts, for most people, earlier than their 40’s but it’s still great. I don’t care about impressing anyone except me.
