Just toying with the idea here. I am thinking about proposing in the next year and I never expected I would be in this position.
My sister was just proposed to and dude must have spent like 10 grand on the ring. I think she feels like he spent too much. It looks like the friggin thing weighs her whole hand down.
Also do you think it is misogynist to ask the lady’s dad for permission?
You must log in or register to comment.
Spend what you can afford. Diamonds aren’t that special, maybe consider a stone that means more to your partner.
I refused to ask my wife’s father for permission to marry her. She is not his property and tbh even if he had said no (he wouldn’t have) I would have asked her anyway.
Yeah my brother in law asked my dad and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He was already obviously a green light.
I have been married for 20 years, after 9 years of being together. Engagement rings are not traditional where I live, but wedding rings are. We bought titanium rings for less than 100 euros each. No stones, just the metal. Titanium is way cooler than gold or platinum too. They make reconnaisance planes out of it!
Where are you from?
Sounds weird but I collect titanium objects. They are so good.
I have 500ml and 1000ml camping pots. A titanium frying pan. My favourite is my titanium bong. You can drive over it with a truck and it can be cleaned perfectly by throwing it into the coals of a campfire. I’ve broken so many glass bongs over the years and this one is indestructible and can be carried anywhere at just 100g.
Netherlands.
I have never seen titaniuw cookware. Is it any good in terms of frying? Do you season a titanium pan in the way you would with cast iron?
It’s not possible to season titanium. It is indestructible and soaks up nothing
No I wouldn’t say it’s very good for frying. I make pancakes on the trail in the pan with lots of olive oil (more than i would use at home, trying to get calories while long distance hiking)
I use the titanium pots for things like mac and cheese, beans and rice, instant potatoes, or even just tea/coffee
I have a jetboil nonstick pan that I still use more than the titanium honestly. I like to have pocket steaks on the first night of a hike
The main appeal to me with titanium is its weight and the fact that you can clean it by throwing it in the fire at the end of the night. In the morning you dump the ashes and it’s completely sanitized and clean.
My opinion as a pragmatist and a woman: an engagement shouldn’t be a surprise. The formality of the proposal itself can be a surprise, but just like a birthday party it should be something expected and at the very least loosely discussed with the person. Asking “what kind of proposals do you like?” and figuring out if they want something public or private, or in front of friends or something small is really important. What kind of engagement ring should go in this discussion. She might hate diamonds, she might love them, she might have a metal allergy, she might have a stone that means a lot to her, she might hate rings with stones at all because they catch on things. You don’t know until you ask, and by asking you’re showing her the respect and that you value her opinion.
My wife picked out a maybe $50 moissanite ring that everyone thinks is worth thousands
She also picked where she wanted me to propose to her
Spend what you can afford. Pay more attention to the style she likes than the cost.
If she says no because the ring wasn’t expensive enough, you dodged a bullet.
If it doesn’t put you in generational debt its not enough /s
Propose with a twist-tie ring, go and buy the real ring together. That way you don’t overspend and you get the ring she wants.
If you were borrowing a bike, you’d ask the bikes owner first. Your partner is not a bike and doesn’t have an owner. Her permission is all you need.
The more you spend on a wedding, the more likely it is the marriage will fail.
I spent $1,000 on my wife’s ring, we just had our 15th anniversary.
I asked my father in law if he minded me asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage. We were already quite close and although I was confident in the answer I was still putting myself out there. It wasn’t about ownership or anything like that, it was simply a nod to tradition and I know he appreciated the gesture.
He also loved being the first to know haha
I associated with a guy online that turned a makeshift ring on a lathe at work to give to his girl as a place-holder for when he could afford a real ring. She loved it so much she told him not to buy one.
He was kind of a perfectionist and it actually looked pretty good, but as I recall there were no precious metals involved.
So, bottom line…what kind of person is she? Price isn’t important.
Whatever you do DON’T spend a year’s salary on a ring. That’s just jewelry store marketing talking.
Hopefully you both have discussed getting married and have some plans for the future before popping the question. As part of your plans you may have things like saving up for a home or go traveling. Put your money towards your dreams, not the ring. Make it a nice ring, but not too nice. Do not borrow money for it. Try to figure out what she would like.
As the father of a woman who will probably marry her boyfriend in the next few years: I think it works be a great gesture if my future son in law asked me. I won’t be mad if he doesn’t, but it shows respect and that he’s thinking of me as family as well. I think it sets a good tone for the relationship.
Check in with your lady on the asking her dad thing. Ultimately it’s up to her whether she feels it’s respectful or if she would be offended if you did so.
Congrats on taking this next step!
deleted by creator
Costco sells rings? Girl comes from a family of costco employment history and she would probably love this haha
We call her the costco princess already
I would say spend however much she would be happy with. My wife made it pretty clear back then that she wont be casually wearing a 1k€ ring, it would stress her out more than she could enjoy it. I got her a nice silver ring with a small synthetic diamond (real diamonds are extremely unethical just btw) for around 100€, she was happy with it and would probably even have been happy with a handshake instead xD. If she likes expensive jewelry and expects it, the money is probably well spent. But its basically your shared money youre spending anyway, so in a way youre “wasting” her money as well if she wouldnt want an expensive one.
Regarding the permission, I would say it is at the very least patriarchal, maybe misogynist. She is not her dads property. On the other hand, if she is very old fashioned and you think she expects it, ask her dad. In the end it comes down to what makes you both happy and how you want to live yoir lives. But dont do it because her dad expexts it from you.
Less than a hundred bucks unless someone’s kinda shallow
