Context: I’m trying to put myself in my parents perspective.
By “kids”, this includes those that have already reached the age of majority (i.e. adult children)
I have a 6-week-old baby. It’s 3:30 am and I’m attempting to rock her to sleep for the 8th time already tonight. If I place her in her bassinet, she unleashes screams that no living being with such small lungs should logically be able to produce. She’s possibly loud enough to wake the dead in this town and the next two over. I’ve forgotten what sleep is. Also I’m out of caffeinated drinks. Please send help.
It gets better, I promise.
We had no direct family help and our little one was the same for 12 weeks. We ended up finding a rhythm of three hour shifts overnight. It tremendously helped that I had paternal leave for 14 weeks, so I really hope you or your partner have something similar. It turned out that she was full of gas because of issues with breastfeeding, so we switched to formula. Couple weeks later she slept through the night like a champ.
A big motto we adopted during the time is: “I got to take care of myself, so I can take care of her”. So alternating sleeping times was the biggest benefit, since sleep deprivation was a hellscape.
I had issues with this as well, in my case it turns out he wanted to be warm, like very warm. I am not kidding, we are talking 3 hot water bags to setup the bed and leave 2 after he was in
6 weeks old is too young to start this, but around 4-6 months we started waiting 15 minutes after putting our daughter to bed before we would come in if she was crying. It allowed her to learn to self soothe and it made such a huge difference.
Reproduction is a trap we trick ourselves into.
Hate, no, but severely annoyed yes; My oldest (14 y.o.) severely lacks the ability to walk down a flight of stairs without sounding like an elephant trying to stomp a mouse. He has the discretion of a landslide, and I’m sure my neighbors can hear when he comes down for a mid-night or early morning snack.
Lol I remember I used to live in a 4-family house (individually separated units each behind a different door and different locks, but under the same house with a shared hallway) in NYC, and I remember that the landlord, who lived like right upstairs, was getting so tired of the noise me and my older brother made when running around the house and playing, so he (or she? idk) kinda gave a warning, and my mom informed us about it, in a serious tone: “stop making so much noise or we’re getting kicked out”, which sounded terrifying to us at the time, since we were in, what felt like a “foreign” country at the time.
It took us 2 years before our first kid would go to sleep and stay asleep most of the night.
Technically not my kid but I’m marrying his mom so close enough.
He never stops making noise. Whether it’s talking, babbling, screeching, squealing, squeaking. The only time this kid is quiet is when he’s asleep.
It wouldn’t bother me so much if what he said had substance but most of it is just him repeating what people around him are saying which makes having a conversation around him infuriating.
I don’t hate him for it because he’s 8 and has undiagnosed adhd but I’ve definitely fantasized about throwing him out of a window once or twice.
Almost identical situation and age. I signed my boy up for karate to help him form some self control, along with discipline and respect, help him quiet his inner mind. Honestly, aside from trying to spar with me half the time, he’s much improved. He probably just needed an outlet for all that energy.
self control, along with discipline and respect, help him quiet his inner mind
Long distance running.
My son was like that when he was little. Now his new half sister is exactly like that too. It’s hilarious (because I don’t have to put up with it!)
I could never hate my daughter (3 y.o). Does it get frustrating that she purposely tests boundaries every second and malicious compliance is her middle name? Sure! However, the unconditional love is the best feeling in itself. Especially days like yesterday when I only saw her for 15 min, due to work, and we cuddled and read bedtime stories.
Not sure how it changes when they get older, but from personal experience growing up, think it’s always important to embrace them for who they are and guide them the best you can. What helps is a lot of personal reflection, because it’s so easy to want to mold them into a specific individual to feel in control when everything around you is falling apart or you got personal trauma that is not addressed properly. However, that’s so counterproductive. You just got to let your kid be themselves.
Hate them? No. Hate what they do, oh yes. Adult ‘kid’ who acts like she knows everything, and won’t do therapy because the therapist is stupid; but is debilitated by anxiety and depression. Obviously anything I say “is stupid” too. Expects endless financial support so they can watch stupid youtube videos all day and through the night (cackling loudly, disrupting my sleep), and threatens suicide if challenged.
“Hate them” is not what I’ve felt.
When they were young and couldn’t stop crying, I felt really frustrated and wanted them to stop. Stepping out of the room for a lil mental health break is a good way to deal with that.
Now they’re a bit older, I get annoyed by their reflexive “no” when asked to do something reasonable (e.g. clean up after themselves). Ironically, giving them a little bit of space lets them calm down and they usually comply.
I love these lil punks. I hope I’m never capable of hating them. Even if I may be annoyed at what they do.
asked to do something reasonable
Lmao. My parents definition of reasonable is having me be their personal translator for like… EVERYTHING.
😭 Just use Google Translate, mom
I’m thinking more along the lines of sticking the dishes they just used into the dishwasher. Although I’ve also asked them to pick up their candy wrappers.
This is especially frustrating with the 2 to 4 age bracket. When they ask for something, especially when its a treat like chocolate or fast food and especially when you decide you dont want to deal with the tantrum for saying no and you give it to them and then they give you A GIANT FUCKING TANTRUM for giving them the treat they asked for.
You dont hate them but fuck…
Skill issue
The most frustrating things my son does is reflect back to me those things I dislike most about myself. It’s like a beautiful little mirror that I love and take everywhere but sometimes when I look at it all I see are things that make me angry.
No. Our kids do lots of annoying and frustrating things but we love them anyway.
Not sharing the car.
I have two college age kids who want to drive but can’t afford to. I said they could use my old car but they have to share fairly and they have to sometimes run errands for their parents.
I’m getting really tired of how often they fail to share and complain to me. At their age and for the prize of free use of a car, how do they not know how to share?
