…Roll Tide…

Yep :) Its almost like some people dont realise this is a shitposting community.

Yep, you dont get it.

Just out of curiosity, what do you think I mean?

Then you dont get it.

The Offspring just pingpong all over the fucking place really.

Thats the formal version.

“High Strayan”

In Australia “Hows it going?” Or more accurately “Howzitgarn?”

Literally slapped?

Its the drawn out bullshit that I have no patience for, its a midseason game between two teams who arent going to make the finals… calm the fuck down.

Twinkle?

Thats charitable.

Give me a clicky pen or give me death!

Dont worry bro, some of us got it.

Ive always said “Money cant buy you happiness, money does however let you rent happiness.”

“Money cant buy you happiness, but it can buy you a jetski. Have YOU ever seen anyone crying on a jetski?” - me.

Ok you need to separate this. You need food options and you need bulk calories.

For breakfast, you need a decent hit of low GI carbs and a protein source. Whilegrain toast with whatever or oats is GOAT, add in a protein coffee (Cold brew/espresso and vanilla protein powder) and you have my breakfast. If you want some more calories and fats in breakfast mix the protein shake on whole milk not water. But this combo burns long and slow.

For the calories at work onsite grab yourself some mass gainer protein and smash a shake with lunch. Lunch can be whatever the hell you want with one of those. One serve of most mass gainers is half of my daily maintenence calories. Unless your job is professional weightlifting, you probably wont out-work this. Although Id advocate for a big boy wholemeal roll stuffed with some meats and a lot of salad.

I think it would be a really good idea for you to track your intake for a few weeks and get a good idea on how much you really need to eat. My Fitness Pal is ok but Macrofactor takes a breakdown of what you put in and your weight and over time dials in how much you need to eat for what physical result you want.

In simplest terms for muscle gain in most grown men the rule of thumb is 1g of protein per lb of lean body mass is a good number to aim for spaced as equally as you can throughout the day in 3 to 5 meals. I could write more about the myths and legends that permeate this shit but for 99% of people 99% of the time - This will work.

Take me for example. My 0% body fat weight would be 155lbs. So 1 scoop of protein in the coffee, 25g. Protein bar mid morning 25g, mass gainer at lunch 50g, even if your afternoon snack is pure carbs dinner only has to be 55g for me to hit the base markers for ideal muscle growth and theres 56g in a double quarter pounder.

Ok, Ive just started doing this with my daughter. Im using windows because I know it.

Find a few of their “favorite” websites with games. Sesame Street, Paw patrol, whatever their poison. And put them in the hotlist.

“You want to play some games?”

Then they have to chose their profile, put in their “password” open the browser, and pick from their hotlist and work on basic mouse skills. Also get a TINY wireless mouse, it will make their life a lot easier.

My daughter and I also played through Grim Fandango, Curse of monkey island and just started on the Sam and Max games. All point and click puzzle games. Those are a bit hit and miss on the attention span but I read the walkthroughs before I suggest we play so I can guide the process along.

I like the White Men Cant Jump remake.

I actually think that theres some movies that SHOULD be remade every 15 to 20 years. I would watch Major League if it was remade every 5 to 10 years. New city, new cast, new jokes, new location, callbacks, subverting expectations… but same premise a shitty baseball team needs to get better or else. Give young up and coming actors an excuse to have fun, ham it up, play a wacky character.

Hell make it a punishment for being the statistically worst team for the season that they make it. “Sorry Boston but… you really ate shit this year…”

They are.

A 600lb person walking a mile burns significantly more calories than a 200lb person doing the same thing. Im 200lbs and I can back squat 300lbs, a 600lb person squatting down and standing back up is moving more weight than I am… If they can manage it.