I could bore him to death with Teams meetings.

Carpal tunnel slasher can’t hold a knife

The autopsy saw. It’s a gleaming monstrosity of stainless steel designed to part human flesh like Moses parted the red sea. You can stack zombies as deep as you want, the saw won’t even slow down. The only thing that will stop it is the length of the mechanical arm it hangs from, because it’s unfortunately too heavy for most people to lift.

Marketing strategy powerpoints

Recently retired from a place that makes rocket engines, and there’s just so much. Start with a rocket engine itself - the combustion gasses are like 3300 C (6000 F) with more than 400,000 lb of thrust. But there’s a lot associated. We dealt with lots of liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen. We have a giant braze oven that we can put a whole rocket nozzle into. It’s quite an arsenal.

Well, I work with IT, Ships, and industrial robotics, so I’m thinking that the villain gets maimed by a robot controlled by a perl script to the point where he is unable to prevent his ship from sinking.

EDIT: Oh, and don’t gets me started on the seismic source: 4000 cubic inches of compressed air at 2000psi. Seismic sources are scary. In water ut will turn anyone in yhe water into jell-o. I’ve coordinated these with simultaneous diving ops, and the divers usually call us to stop if they’re within 3-4 kilometers.

The cardboard crusher probably, just have to tip them over the edge. Puts them nicely in 1.5x1.5x1m cubes

A server rack full of servers, dropped on the monster like a cartoon piano.

I work with IT but in a meat processing plant, the giant saw that cuts pigs in half would certainly do it. Even though all of the slaughtering and butchering have been dismantled many years ago due to cutbacks, it would be a very good location for a horror movie or an augmented reality experience or something like that, it’s almost like everyone just up and left.

There’s a kid I work with that is going to end up stabbing me with a pencil. He’s gotten pretty close a few times.

The lab closet when I was teaching science might have worked. The stuff you let kids work with is as close to water as you can make it, but the stuff for demos could easily take out a Jason or a Freddy.

I work from home…

Best I got is an old fashioned paper cutter that looked way too heavy duty.

Cue the scene from The Faculty where the bad boy twists off the blade of that thing.

I’m an auto mechanic, honestly like 80% of the things I touch every day could kill most things if applied properly.

Thinking about reach and convenience from my toolbox, I’m thinking the 5’ steel prybar (effectively a 10 lb baseball bat with a sharp tip) or the cv axle I took out earlier. Honorable mention to one of a variety of possible chemical attacks or just straight up dropping a car on it.

I commute, so train?

I could mistranslate an MRI manual and they could fry themselves to death?

Really big laser - meant for cutting through thick steel, could probably slice most monsters Bond-villain style.