Seems like maybe reality is at odds with a generalization. Maybe every cop is not a bastard, every landlord is not an oppressive monster, and every person who makes more money than you is not a net drain on society.

Maybe you have just discovered something rare and elusive: nuance.

This post reads like a lefty caricature by someone hard right, esp the last sentence.

I believe ACAB, and my cousin is actively trying to become a state trooper.

Doesn’t mean I walk up and spit in his face at every family gathering. We talk, we grew up together, we shoot the shit and have a good time.

But if he asked me to condone or celebrate his job? Nah, he knows how I feel about the police and their profession, as long as he’s safe and not drinking the Kool aid (he will) that’s all I can hope. And that maybe he’ll open his eyes someday. 🤷‍♀️

As a hard rule, though, I won’t date cops or mess around with them. One reached out on a dating app recently and I just politely responded with “I’m not interested in law enforcement, sorry” to which I got “Uh, I’m actually a correctional officer.”

Cool, so you abuse people after the police have finished abusing them, that’s not the brag you think it is.

ACAB is about defaulting to thinking of them as bad guys and enemies until proven otherwise. This new friend of yours has proven otherwise, why you so hung up on it. The world isn’t black and white, there’s all kinds of shades in between and it’s not even a linear scale. Have some nuance in your morals and ethics.

Can you separate the profession from the person?

Does ACAB mean the people are bastards, or does it mean it’s a job that can never be done ethically?

Is ACAB a critique of the people doing the job, or is it a criticism of our society for tolerating being policed?

First of all, I find your phrasing that he “is/was” a cop kind of interesting. Is he a cop or is he not? If he was but is no longer a cop, it could very well be that he left that career because he shares some of your same thoughts and feelings and you’re getting yourself worked up over nothing.

Anyway

To me, ACAB means that all cops are bastards collectively

It does not mean that each individual cop is a bastard.

There are undoubtedly some cops that are good people, doing their damnedest to do the right thing, standing up for the little guy against the bastards, who are trying to make the system better from the inside, who understand the role that policing should be, etc.

And there are of course some who are bastards, who abuse their power and do all of the things that make policing shitty.

And there are cops who aren’t actively bastards themselves, but also aren’t doing anything to make waves and stand up against the bastards.

It’s a case of a few rotten apples spoiling the bunch. The apple barrel has a couple absolutely amazing apples in there that are everything you could ever want from an apple, a whole bunch of meh run-of-the-mill grocery store apples, that do the job of being an apple well enough, but aren’t going to make you stand up and say “holy shit, that’s a good fucking apple,” and then there’s a handful of rotten apples that will make you puke your guts up, and unfortunately you don’t get to pick and choose which apple you’re eating, you just have to reach in blind and take a bite, and since those rotten apples are in there, it’s a pretty big gamble to make, you have to really need that apple for it to be worth it.

However, entering into a friendship is different than other interactions you’d have with the police. You get a chance to inspect the apple before you eat it, to see if it’s good, ok, or rotten to the core.

I’d say don’t dismiss him outright because he’s a cop, but try to feel him out, see what his attitude and philosophy is like, don’t grill him on it, but take note of how he reacts when different subjects are brought up, and if you find something problematic with what he says, try to explain how your views are different in a non-confrontational way, don’t make it a fight or an argument or a debate, just try to explain your thoughts and feelings and try to understand why he thinks the way he does as well. With the right people around him, it’s possible that you could help make him or keep him a good cop when otherwise he might go bad, it’s up to you if you want to take on that task.

I don’t know if this will help or not. I came across this video a while ago. It’s a former cop describing what they deal with. I’m ACAB too, but they are still people being exploited just like us. The system is what we should be directing our anger towards. https://youtu.be/_nl5zMIwcmQ?si=mbAwDWi6vjGx3Njz

It sounds like you are the kind of person that can’t comprehend empathy and stepping into other persons shoes. If something doesn’t happen to you you’re sticking to pre canned ideas you heard repeated often enough.

What did you expect, that a cop would show up to a friendly meeting and bully everyone there? That’s not what makes ACAB. it’s the fact that s significant portion of them beat wifes, or use deadly force, or are unfair to minorities.

You’re already going into the mode " he treats me ok so he must be nice to everybody". Ask him if he’d turn a blind eye if a homeless person steals food from a big supermarket, and you’ll have a chance of glimpsing how he deals with problems and people on a non friendly, stressful, low stakes environment.

Its never the people, its a system. Currently we have a system that allows for unqualified and even violent people in the police force, with little accountability. There are still those who join in good faith to serve and protect their community. Unfortunately it seems like they are becoming a slimmer and slimmer minority, but they are still prominent.

I wouldn’t mindlessly hate your local police force until ypu have a reason to hate them. Police aren’t some hivemind. I live in a small town and the local police are super chill.

With things like cops, you have to remember that if no one with morals goes into it, it’ll keep getting worse.

I have a lot of family that are in some kind of law enforcement, and a couple friends from college that went into it as well.

If you cut them off because they’re cops, then the only people who associate with them are assholes and it concentrates.

Just be upfront about it.

Couple months ago I ran into a friend of a friend from college who’s a cop. The first and last things I said to him was dont be a fucking asshole. Other than that I treated him the same as if he wasn’t a cop.

If we cut that dude out of our lives, the only people he’d talk to would tell him to be more of an asshole.

Like, obviously if he’s doing shady shit, then fuck him.

I’m not sure about being associated with a current cop.

If he was a cop, I would be curious to know why he isn’t any more. If it’s because he genuinely wanted to do good, but he left because he couldn’t change the system, this would earn a lot of respect in my eyes.

Never talk about the things you know you shouldn’t. My cousin and I are exactly as before. EXCEPT politics. It’s a brotherhood. You could grow up together for decades but they’re gonna believe whatever they hear from the guys purporting they’d take bullets for them.

Talk to him and if he turns out to be a douche then stop and tell him to fuck off. NGL The Chance for him being a douche is higher because of his Job, but maybe he is not.

Every perfect rule has only 1 exception.

If you meet another “good one” know that one of em is lying to you.

ACAB but some individuals can be cool enough. Just know they could turn on you easier than others.

My landlord is a cop, but he’s also a decent guy. To me. I try to bring up liberal talking points on the sly to at least expose him to alternate opinions. He’s not against them, so that’s good.

It’s hard. I kinda have to have a mental block up against the individual’s career choice, because he’s not one of the 100% asshole / racist / fully bastard cops. I know / knew some of them too, and I won’t give them the time of day once the convo showed their true colors (which, happens within an hour or less usually).

I guess they’re comfortable showing their true colors to me over a beer because we …look the same. Gross.

But, know that if it hasn’t already happened, there’s probably some humanity left in them.

I have cops that are friends and they aren’t bad as far as I know.