I personally don’t think it matters much at all, except in channels that specifically identify that way. However, I am male, hetero, cis, so its possible I’m just clueless.
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I’m not quite grasping the context you’re asking the question, but I will say gender matters on Lemmy in the sense that I want full representation from all genders (and non-gender folk). The value of conversation here is derived from the many viewpoints that each of us bring. Without full representation, we’ll be missing valuable inside and perspective if a specific gender (or non-gender) is missing.
I’m primarily interested in the opinions of people who are not at least one of male/hetero/cis; it’s too easy for the privikeged group to delude themselves about how good they are behaving.
Transfem here, generally unless the topic being discussed is gender specific users genders aren’t relevant. Though, Lemmy has a pretty bad track record with gender relations imo, the whole women choosing the bear thing was such a shit show. The men’s lib community is good though, I’ve interacted with a couple posts there that popped up on my feed while scrolling and it actually consists of users who are empathetic and understanding and not anti-women like the reddit one turned into. It’s interesting, Lemmy has many many more male users than female, and it goes a bit further, with the ratio of transmascs to transfems being reversed. I just think it’s interesting that it’s an amab/afab split rather than a gender split. As someone in the thread trans-hatingly put it, “even the women are men here.”
I’m a lady and haven’t had any trouble here. The only place I really notice how ridiculously male - skewed Lemmy is, is on the NSFW. That is definitely all “male gaze” stuff, with the occasional actual lesbian also posting stuff guys like. Even the posts OF men are FOR men, everything posted with some assumption only men are looking at the posts.
The other communities just aren’t so gendered, I don’t notice much whether someone seems to be one or the other, it isn’t relevant to cocktails or cooking or gardening or science fiction.
The only place I really notice how ridiculously male - skewed Lemmy is, is on the NSFW. That is definitely all “male gaze” stuff, with the occasional actual lesbian also posting stuff guys like. Even the posts OF men are FOR men, everything posted with some assumption only men are looking at the posts.
That sounds like a you problem. Everyone like to look at sexy ladies.
You misunderstand. Lots of women like to “look at sexy ladies,” but the things that turn men and women on in pornography are different (this should not be a surprise if you’ve sexually engaged with a member of the opposition sex). They’re noting that they didn’t find anything aimed at women, which is reflective of the gender demographics here.
the things that turn men and women on in pornography are different
Good point.
(this should not be a surprise if you’ve sexually engaged with a member of the opposition sex).
Don’t be a dick, Lemmy user. You made a good point. Don’t ruin it.
Not everyone is straight, I wasn’t digging at you for inexperience.
Why not make a new account with a femme sounding username and see? Don’t pretend you need help with a bra or anything, just interact with lemmy while “labeled” a woman.
I have a more masculine username and a more feminine username (both seem like spins on given names, think UrArthUr and Bekky), and there is a difference in how I’m perceived, or at least how people respond to me. It’s not huge, and I’m afab irl, so I’m also not surprised- I don’t think I’ve ever been somewhere where people can freely interact and it had no effect (or at least not since I grew tits).
Do people look at the usernames before replying to a message or post?
Zero. Everyone is anonymous. So who cares.
deleted by creator
Good on ya, dude. Seems inclusive to me.
You can’t really generalize. It matters as much as the person you’re talking to or about thinks it matters.
If they don’t care; fine. But most people want to be properly gendered.
In most discussions here it’s not really relevant or important but it’s simple enough to use gender neutral pronouns when someone’s gender is unknown
How would people even know other peoples gender?
There are people who share their pronouns/gender, but they are pretty rare
Ooooh, I’m rare! Colour me capercaillie.
capercaillie
I learned a new word!
It is very much context dependant. People want to say it does not matter, and in our default context, it theoretically does not. There are certain contexts where use of outdated patriarchal norms of the past will garner a response. In a sense it must matter that it does not matter.
My mind is drawn to the old adage, “hate is not the opposite of love; indifference is. For to hate is to still care in common with those that love.”
If you use gender incorrectly here, or, in a broader context, act like an ass about gender you are likely to garner a reaction.
There was a post here in the last few weeks about someone on reddit that posted about a guy giving his partner an old iPod or some device like that as part of a birthday gift with other things, and getting eviscerated for the idea. Then after reversing the gender roles, under the same premise, the opposite reaction was the outcome. I don’t think we are the same demographic here, but I also imagine we might display a similar objective bias in honest and objective aggregate.
So does it matter here, IMO, we’d like to think it does not, but we are biased like any group. We are generally aware and appreciative of our diverse community members and tend to prefer gender neutrality when possible, like assuming they/them is generally good decorum and practiced here. When an anthropomorphic gender assignment is appropriate, the cool kids default female.
At least that is the lay of the land abstracted as I see it when one speaks the unspeakable.
I would say less than on reddit but still a thing. Being cisgender still is treated as a norm and the sort of folks who openly display misogynistic tendencies are fewer and farther between… But any innocuous mention to being trans will very get you a couple of dedicated downvoters or people who use gender essentialist arguements, silencing tactics (oh you’re just being devisive) or transphobic rhetoric.
Not to say that it is bad comparatively. This is one of the most trans neutral places on the internet. It’s not “trans friendly” mind you, I would categorize that as places where concensus about trans people being a normal thing to be has been reached and attention has shifted away from our basic rights as being up for debate… But trans neutral spaces are important too. We need holding spaces away from places where trans people talk openly where people can get to know us where the majority of support shuts down open hostility towards us prompting more nuanced interaction.
A lot of trans hostile spaces exist out there where being openly trans or advocacy for our needs invites a lot of death threats, calls for suicide, doxxing attacks and so on. If you see a comment section on youtube on a queer creator for instance that’s overwhelmingly trans positive that generally means there’s heavy moderation at play because they are trying to create spaces safe for their queer audience to interact with each other. What you as a casual visitor generally don’t see is the mental cost being taken on by that moderation team to artificially create the illusion of that positive space. Here on this instance that level of moderation is unnecessary because generally speaking the volume is manageable.
In the context of the internet at large seeming to believe every user is male? I’d say that’s still standard practice here even if it’s not as prevalent an assumption as on other social media. How much that matters though is subjective.
Most of the time it’s not too big of a deal but sometimes it’s very clear that it’s a male dominated social media, like when the pay gap between men and women is mentioned
Not a lot as far as I can tell?
It matters when looking at NSFW channels.
Not for me 😈
Matters so much more than most people admit.
It doesn’t really matter, anyone can use Lemmy, regardless of gender identity or orientation. Some instances and communities are better suited for specific groups than others but for the most part we’re all people.
My gender:
No gender, Only Dragon🐉
🖤🤍💚🤍🖤
