Or George Lucas.
Snake: P. Diddy?
Colonel: That’s right. Full name Person Diddler. He’s going to be very attracted to your skin tight sneaking suit.
Use that to your advantage. Be careful, Snake!
Snake initiates a codec call
SNAKE: All right colonel, I’m inside Diddy’s room. There are mirrors on every wall, and it looks like professional grade recording equipment. There’s a sign above the door. It says “Welcome to my inner rectum”. What does that mean?
COLONEL: I think it’s some kind of warning. And Diddler could be anywhere, since he managed to acquire stealth camoflouge. I’d watch out if I were you, Snake.
SNAKE: There’s no sign of Diddy. How am I supposed to find him?
COLONEL: We’ve managed to revive Johnny in the medical bay after he was attacked by Diddler. It’s going to be a few months before he can walk again, but he’s been able to give us some clues.
SNAKE: Clues?
COLONEL: Apparently, there’s a characteristic smell when Diddler is nearby. Otacon, can you explain?OTACON: Snake, are you familiar with Cyclopentasiloxane-D5?
SNAKE: Cyclo what? Otacon, what are you talking about?!
OTACON: Cyclopentasiloxane-D5. It’s a compound that’s found in personal silicone lubricants. People use it for… uh… well… you know…
SNAKE: You mean like Astroglide? Sure, I use it all the time to help put on my sneaking suit.
OTACON: What?! Okay, I guess that’s one use for it…
SNAKE: What does this have to do with Diddy?
OTACON: Well, when we revived Johnny after the attack, he kept explaining a sweet smell he noticed just before. We brought him a few sample products to sniff, and he was able to make the connection. But we ran into a problem.
SNAKE: Problem?Cut to cold war era footage of a chemical manufacturing plant. Product is rapidly moving across conveyor belts
OTACON: Normally, Cyclopentasiloxane-D5 is classified as an odorless compound. There’s no way for us to develop a detector without a smell. But it turns out that’s only true with purified D5. In regular manufacturing, trace cyclic siloxanes and low-level volatile impurities are always present. Each manufacturer has a distinctive blend, giving each one a signature odor.
Return to codec call
SNAKE: So you found out which silicone lubricant Johnny smelled before the attack.
OTACON: We did, Snake. It’s Sliquid.
SNAKE: LIQUID??
OTACON: No Snake, Sliquid! With an S! It’s one of their older compounds before they went fully organic. Diddler must have bought these by the 55 gallon drum and is using up old stock. I’ve created a scent pattern that the nanomachines in your sneaking suit can detect. I’m uploading it remotely now.SNAKE: I think I see a pattern coming up, but there’s a concentration right behind me. Is there something wrong with it?
OTACON: SNAKE WATCH OUT!!!Cut to room, a stealth camouflage outline of Diddy standing behind a crouched Snake
DIDDY: NOW IT’S MY SNAKE THAT’S GETTING SOLID!
- P. Diddy (Sean Combs)
MGS Boss music starts
Holy shit “Full name Person Diddler” got me.
Was there ever a big explaination as to why he changed from Puff Daddy? Still kinda cringe in today’s terms but never as cringe as P. Diddy.
Edit: for the record, I just tried Googling it and was instantly hit with some chat gpt ass article. Specifically looking for explaination from someone who heard about it at the time or is a lore enthusiast.
I’ve heard he’s one of the ‘good ones’.
He has never eaten a single baby!
Wait, I forgot. He’s only eaten ONE baby, but never again.
As long as he learned his lesson
It’s fine because he put a cloth over his head while he did it so god couldn’t watch.
I found this photo from the incident:
Was the baby married?
or at least marinated
P P Diddy
The Diddler!
