Scenario: It’s night, and a man is walking home. He sees ahead there is a woman going in the opposite direction as him. Knowing not to stop or approach her, but his presence makes her nervous. What would help further in this scenario if anything?
As a woman, seriously, just give me the bro nod to acknowledge that I exist but am not that interesting to you and keep walking. If you go out of your way to show that you aren’t a threat now I’m thinking you’re a threat, and if you pointedly ignore me now I’m wondering if you are actually far more interested in me than you should be but you want me not to notice.
Brief eye contact while acknowledging that I exist tells me you aren’t afraid of me remembering your face but that you aren’t being weird and staring or trying to hide from me.
I like to have a smile as well. If I give the nod or even a cursory “hello” I try to have my body language say that I in no way expect or need any sort of response or acknowledgement.
I’d go with “Evening” over “Hello”. The latter signals that you’re trying to initiate a conversation, the former is just friendly acknowledgement.
I feel this is exactly what OP and others fear. Trying to optimize the best way to pass someone without being creepy or threatening. It can be maddening. Like, I see your point, but how far down that rabbit hole can we go? It’s exhausting trying to not be weird which is ultimately weird itself.
That’s just generally what I would do when passing someone at night. Polite acknowledgement, keep walking.
Which nod is that, a down nod or an up nod? I’ve always found up nod threatening tbh
I just find the up-nod extremely douchy in any circumstance
I’m feeling extremely vindicated! I hate it, and I dislike in general the idea that men “nod at each other to say hello”
Shit, now I’m self conscious about my nod reflexively being an up nod!
Bro nod and a howdy or evenin’ are what I usually go with. I am usually walking with my husband though (we are both dudes) and my guy is scary-looking so if someone (man, woman or other) crosses to avoid us I fully understand and respect the situational awareness.
Just don’t be weird man, that’s all you gotta do.
“Just don’t be weird” is exactly the kind of thought that’d cause me to come off as weird. Suddenly every detail of what I do is manual and scrutinized by myself.
I live in a city, just do the same thing I do when walking past literally anyone - leave a few feet of space, eyes forward, ignore.
starts thinking so hard that my arms stop swaying
Forgot how feet work
At least she’ll have a funny story about the creepy guy muttering “right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot” that she passed.
It’s like a malfunction in autopilot. Suddenly you have to take over the controls and it is painfully obvious.
But I was born weird!
If I understand the TikTok trend from a little while back, the solution is to pretend to be a bear.
Slowly lower yourself to all fours and start huffing to yourself hangry-ly
Shoot webbing at the closest streetlight, use it to swing to the to of the building across the street. The Rhino is trying to rob the bank again, stand back citizen!
I usually turn around and start walking backwards, peeking quickly over my shoulder and looking increasingly worried because she’s chasing ME and she’s getting closer!
Don’t make women the victim; be a gentleman and YOU be the victim.
I usually turn around and start walking backwards,
lol I imagined you walking backwards literally, maintaining the original direction after turning around
That is good because that’s what I meant!
You should tell her that you’ve been trying to reach her regarding her car’s extended warranty.
/s
I appreciate you
Ignore her like anyone else and let her decide on her own comfort zone walking by you? If some one sees you walking alone, and starts altering their behavior because of your presence, whatever their intention, it sends the message that you have been noticed, you are being watched, they are reacting to your presence, and this indicates some kind of interest or goal in an interaction.
So just keep waking, if she wants to cross the street, just ignore her. Definitely don’t yell “It’s okay I’m not a rapist!” or “I have a girlfriend already!”, just let her do her thing, and you keep doing yours.
Nothing, ignore them and just keep walking
Don’t try to chat up women at night. There is no scenario of a strange man being interested in me while it’s dark that I’ll be receptive to. It’s impossible for your line to be so good I’ll stop seeing you as dangerous.
I usually just say something like “good evening” and continue walking and you immediately see the other person relax.
Just be polite and ignore them, I guess
Does anyone remember that Vine where the guy is filming himself walking at night and says “oh there’s a woman walking alone up there. I better catch up to her and let her know I’m not a threat” as he starts sprinting? Damn vine used to be fun
Rape jokes are so funny
You think that’s a rape joke? The fuck is wrong with you?
The joke is he’s doing the exact opposite of what he should be doing to ease her mind. That’s the joke. Not that he was going to sprint up and assault her. Maybe you need to get off the internet for a while.
Damn, I was kinda hoping you would actually try to answer the questions.
Running fast towards a woman at night in order to scare her is the joke.
What do you think a woman is scared of when a strange man runs at her while she’s alone at night?
What’s the punchline?
You think he was really walking behind someone? He wasn’t. It was a joke. Relax.
What’s the punchline?
Why is it funny to make women scared?
The joke is that his actions would have the opposite outcome to what he desired. He wanted to put her mind at ease, instead he’d scare the shit out of her. End of. I don’t see how I’m having to explain this to you.
What would the woman be scared of when a strange man runs at her at night?
Rape and murder.
It’s a rape joke. Say it with your chest instead of trying to deny that you found a misogynistic joke funny and funny enough to retell it.
Sometimes I’ll cross the street if it’s safe and won’t have to immediately recross to get where I’m going. If not I just keep walking and keep my eyes to myself, as long as you’re not being a staring creepass or looking her up and down you’re fine.
I find putting a boundary between helps a lot. Even a basically meaningless one. Like walking on the grass while she takes the sidewalk. If you can’t cross the road.
If your really concerned call your mom or sister on speaker phone and chat with them for a min while you pass.
Are you serious? No, that doesn’t help, that just looks fucking weird. Just walk. Maybe nod, like a normal person who passes another normal person.
I didn’t invent it. They did studies.
No one is forcing you to anything, relax.
If this isn’t a wrong answers only question:
I would be more comfortable if the guy gave me space, but as long as you are not accosting me, a “good evening” and keep going is fine.
If it’s wrong answers only, choose any of the walks from the ministry of silly walks Monty Python sketch.
Ah it looks like the advice here is very similar to the other post.
“hey if you’re a man i’m gonna need you to never approach a woman who’s alone at night time. don’t care what your intention is - unless it’s an emergency, don’t. you probably have no idea what the jolt of terror and/or the gnawing dread feels like in these situations. thanks.”
