Dad: “Look both ways before crossing the street”
Me as a child: “But this is a one-way street”
Dad: “You look both ways because people are idiots”
Regarding marriage and relationships
I saw a reddit thread many years ago before I met my wife asking for advice from long-time couples.
I was single at the time, and was pretty comfortable with that, not that I wasn’t interested in being in a relationship, but it wasn’t a priority for me and I never had much luck picking up girls.
Most of it was the usual stuff about communication, and sharing housework, respect, and all of that.
But the one that stood out to me was
“Don’t forget to date your wife”
A good many years later, I managed to stumble my way bass-ackwards into dating my now-wife. A few years later we were married.
And for a lot of couples, dating kind of slows down at that point. One or both of them stop putting in effort, and they just kind of stagnate and drift apart.
That’s far from the only reason relationships fail of course, but I think that’s a bigger part in a lot of cases than many people think.
So I always keep my ear to the ground for cool events, restaurants, shows, places to go, things to do, etc. and make sure that there’s always something coming up on the horizon for us to look forward to. Sometimes it’s a simple dinner at a restaurant we’ve been to countless times, sometimes it’s a big elaborate day out where we get dressed up, find our way to a couple different nice bars and restaurants, walk around a museum, see a show or to an orchestra performance, etc.
I try to have at least one thing planned a month, not always successfully, but more often than not, and we sometimes squeeze in another little spontaneous date night or two here and there. Most of the time we’re out doing something fun as a couple at least once a week.
Good job. I share your approach. I just took my love, my life and my wife out for a date a couple days ago. All her boyfriend wants to do is fuck but I take her dinner and a movie.
Adulterers must be stoned to death in public.
“Be excellent to each other”
Don’t make promises when you’re happy; don’t make decisions when you’re sad.
Do not point out things to someone when they can’t fix them right now. For example, don’t tell me I have a stain on my jumper when we are out in the office with no change to fix it. I will remain conscious about it the rest of the day.
Another was misunderstandings are the norm not an exception. They are happening just as often as successful communication.
Point them out to me please. That knowledge can prevent me from the stress of finding out when it’s too late. Knowing you have a stain or some such can at least prevent you from doing something to expose it for example.
If a client asks, “You want to meet for lunch today or tomorrow?” Knowledge is power.
Every day, make one thing better.
I like this a lot. It’s been my philosophy but not my motto for 50 years.
Cut your nails after a bath or shower as they will be softer and cut smoother
Life: Being poor ain’t no excuse for being filthy
Work: if you’re gonna go down, take people with you. (thanks HR lady!)
There’s one piece of advice I got from a Mickey mouse comic of all places. When I was a kid I read this Mickey mouse comic where he gets kidnapped and has to escape, but it’s cold outside and he doesn’t have any clothes, so he wears a mattress for warmth. Everyone laughs at him, but he keeps thinking something like “as long as I’m warm, they may laugh at me”, and for some reason that piece of advice stuck with me forever.
Take heart, because nobody knows what the fuck they are doing. Some of them are just decent at faking it.
My favorite toast, preferably with those of stout heart and unsound mind is: Here’s to us. Who’s like us? Damn few. And they’re ALLLLLL dead.
Everyone is doing the best they can, with what they know.
– From a meaning-of-life website circa '97
Made a lot of sense about practising acceptance. Some people may have just stubbed their toe in the morning too.
Met an old guy in the 90’s who was one of the OG Hells Angels. He said, “Getting old ain’t for pussies.” He wasn’t wrong. All the stupid things you did when you were younger so find you when you get older.
If a task/chore can be done in 2 minutes or less, do it now.
Not sure if it is the best, but it is a simple piece of advice I follow religiously. I think the reason this makes sense is that the cognitive load of trying to remember to do it is higher than just doing it straight away.
No one is thinking about you as much as you are
you will never be given time; you have to take it.
