I’m not on the blocklist 😭
I’m honestly grateful that my appearance repels creepy men but welcomes queer folk
I love being older because i can give compliments - nice shirt, cool glasses, etc.- and they just say thank you and don’t assume I’m flirting. It’s more just human to human. That’s my perception anyway.
One guy told me I was so ugly my face would make a train take a dirt road. Men don’t realize how poorly it reflects on themselves to be so cruel.
Now that I present more queer with my head shaved and some of my clothing choices, men are more forward about sexualizing other women around me. Thinking I’ll join in or agree. I do internally, because women are generally quite attractive, but it’s weird to be treated like one of the boys sometimes lol
I stopped doing performative femininity gradually about 18 years ago … I stopped using makeup, wearing clothes that showed off my body, uncomfortable shoes, cut my hair short.
It was like putting on an invisibility cloak. It’s been a long time since a man told me I should smile more, and outside of Asia I don’t get men hitting on me, offering me drinks, etc.
With less of the expected gender signifiers, I don’t think I look more ugly, I’m just not signalling anything to men.
The flipside is that in winter, when I’ve got layers on, some women have thought I’m a man when I go to the toilet. Which is fucking stupid, but nudges me closer to an Enby identity, which feels right much of the time these days.
I’m not sure but over the past 18 years the dynamic has changed in general. Even if you were to doll up, most men wouldn’t say anything, since now everybody has a camera in their pocket amd a social media account. So the threat of getting your life ruined over a miss-guided approach is real for men.
It really hasn’t changed much at all. Men still approach women they find attractive in a variety of ways.
You know that meme of the guy leaning back during gaming and then leaning forward once the game get intense? This is me with this post.
