She gets social security, and we don’t have a lot of money ourselves and are no longer able to be with her 24/7. We are in Maryland, and are scared of what we can do. Will her medicare do anything? Is it too late for something like long term care insurance? We have no idea where to start.
Thanks for any insight.
I believe 211 works everywhere in the US. Call them (if not call your county’s health and human services). They have access to all the health and human services for your county, and can direct you to all the people that can help you. IMO it’s much better than blindly calling around to different departments/services yourself. The ones here in San Diego are really helpful, and can tell you about things you don’t even know are possible.
Contact your county health & human services agency. Medicaid might be able to help, I don’t think Medicare will.
Can I set up some kind of will so that if I get Alzheimer’s or dementia, my family can euthanize me even if I object? Being a burden like that sounds fucking awful.
my family can euthanize me even if I object?
No.
There’s no law that allows killing of the unwilling; even a living will addressing assisted suicide or euthanization due to incapability assumes that you would still consent at the later date, but lack either physical or intellectual ability to communicate that. If you can clearly communicate that you’ve changed your mind, they have to respect that, even if that changed mind has reduced capability due to dementia.
Your best hope would be to go with assisted suicide while you still have enough faculties to make the decision and execute on your portions of the act.
Well that’s stupid
If you can kill yourself whenever you want, you should be able to kill yourself in advance too
I mean you kid of can with a “do not resuscitate “
Probably depends on your state. CA (and IIRC all the west coast states plus some others) has euthanasia/assisted suicide options/laws in place.
To specifically answer their question: No. There is no state that will allow your family to euthanize someone who currently objects, just because that person, while younger, signed a will stating that was their wish.
Is she your dependent?
I know with children (even adult children) you can sign them over to be wards of the state.
Which sounds terrible. But doesn’t mean you have to drop out of their lives. They’ll get a group home or facility close by and you can go hang out and help them every day if you want to.
It’s best to do it early tho while she can understand it’s happening.
Start the process for getting Medicaid, as that takes time. Medicare may cover bits, but most will come from Medicaid. State specific programs may exist. I recommend calling her primary doctor and see if they can help you with get home health or getting her into a nursing home depending on everyone’s preference. They also might have contacts for social workers that can help you navigate getting assistance in paying for it.
Is she on disability? Look into that if you haven’t, at a bare minimum it might get you a little more in her social security check to help cover the cost of her care
As an interim step between what you’re doing now and 24/7 residential care, see if your community has a senior center. They will know local options. Also look into local adult day health programs (sometimes called adult day care).
Speak to her doctor. Start the process of getting Medicaid ASAP. If it gets bad enough that she needs to be in a care home, Medicaid can pay for it. Ask the doctor about medication Aricept. It can help certain types of dementia, I have seen it be a miracle.
Do not let any doctor/nurse/facility give her any benzodiazepines such as lorazepam, klonopin, diazepam. They often do this to “help them rest” without realizing these work opposite for elderly patients. It can make them restless, irritated, and sometimes violent.
Depends on your country
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