Ha! I got ahead of the game and just had an unfinished basement for five years! Even easier access!

Back in my day, it was “I’m going insane … Short trip.”

My cats once got in a fight with a praying mantis in an old townhouse.

I’d seen praying mantisses before but this one was a. in my home and b. large enough to be genuinely a little intimidating. The cats won, but it took a long time because they were being more cautious than usual.

I’ve never once had a cat who cared about verbal excoriation. Mine will only stop doing naughty things if you get up and approach them, then as soon as you sit back down they’re back to doing it again.

Good to know, thanks!

Very regal.

To be clear, mine has bald spots (one above each eye) and I was curious whether yours did … A question I suppose I could have answered by simply looking at your picture. I apologize and thank you for responding!

edit: As I said, she doesn’t like to look at the camera, so I don’t have a lot of photos of her from head on … But this near four year old photo kinda shows the bald spots. I think they only increase how adorable she is.

You not only stole my cat but cloned her? How rude.

Beautiful, though.

edit: Wait, do they have the bald spots?

edit: So far as I know, she’s a cat, not a car.

You lemmings keep stealing my cats.

(She doesn’t like to look at the camera but she has the same eyes also)

I was gonna say “;)”

You’re right.

We should put them in the freezer so that they last longer after cracking.

My first job was at a convenience store. I was told I was allowed to wear black or tan pants and the company provided shirt.

The first time I wore a new pair of black pants there I was told to wash the floors. I was given a bucket of water and a bottle of bleach to do so. I’d never heard of bleach before.

Turns out that pouring bleach onto the floor from shoulder level isn’t a great idea when wearing brand new black pants. Your mom might get upset with you and the results. Or she might blame the manufacturer and you might be too scared to fess up.

… Not that I would know.

It always amuses me when I belch and Google Meet pops up a notification saying “are you talking? Your microphone is on mute.”

Once I was on an all day meeting with a compatriot and having, shall we say, a bad stomach day. I forgot we were on a call and for some reason - though I almost never am - I was unmuted. Having forgotten these facts and thus with no restraint, I let out a series of the most vile, expressive noises I’ve ever heard from my body … Only, to my horror, to hear “niiiiiiice.”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Q5gv0ZjVAtA

At the time, I worked nights in a tech call center. There were generally three guys working the shift but it wasn’t the same people every shift, it was a small but rotating cast. There was also a supervisor but they spent the majority of their time in a private office halfway across the building from us.

One of the three guys who was there most nights would mostly ignore calls and would do a pretty poor job with them when he did answer. Instead of working, he’d spend the whole night browsing HotOrNot, occasionally vocalizing his opinion on some pictures.

Since there were only three people on the shift and it was in a call center built for a hundred or more, we were permitted to sit at any desk (they had roaming profiles). Only one member of the night shift ever sat close to the guy I described more than once. Besides being personally unpleasant, he was a heavy smoker and thus olfactorily offensive as well.

The HotOrNot guy was there when I got there and I’m pretty sure there when I left. No idea how he kept his job.

Weird, right?

That’s clearly my cat.

I know this is an old trope, but I always liked one bash.org quote that uses it well:

Person 1: Did you know if you play the Windows install disk backwards, it plays Satanic messages?
Person 2: That’s nothing; if you play it forwards, it installs Windows.

I once won a round of Cards Against Humanity by playing the word “smegma” and explaining what it meant to my opponents.

Did you know that the writers of Red Dwarf weren’t referencing that? Also, I haven’t checked, but I have reason to believe the fridge manufacturers weren’t either.

For a more normal picture of her … Sort of: