Big if true

Is that Heathcliff?

Because I need money

I died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail hopefully my gravestone says something like rest in peace and not something vulgar.

Joke’s on that guy, all the women on the Internet are really just this guy:

You laugh, but my son did something similar. He said “daddy I know you’re going through a hard time right now but I can help you carry your groceries” and I said “son, you’re 38 years old, why the hell haven’t you moved out yet?”

He shouldn’t have gotten his dentures from Acme.

You can’t even get a Baja Blast at a Kentacohut over there?

The GameCube cases also came with a pizza roll holder but it was a little too small.

Sex: not getting any cause I was fired

Why was I born with eyes?

I took a IQ test online it said I Genius.

My car breaking down at a railroad crossing while a train is coming towards me.

I learned about her from Double Dare.

A wizard did it.

Look, we all can’t get into Yal6, okay.

Baseball stadiums usually cut off alcohol sales after the 7th inning, which allows for fans to somewhat sober up before the end of the game.

Even Cousin Bob’s funeral?

A soup place I go to started to charge $3 for its once free bread. When I asked about it, they said “no soup for you!” and “come back one year!”. Then they took away my soup. At least I got my money back.

As an American, I had to work out the Roman Numerals the only way I know how: using Super Bowls. So the 1st Super Bowl is Super Bowl I (Packers over Chiefs), the 2nd Super Bowl is Super Bowl II (Packers over Raiders), and the 50th Super Bowl is Super Bowl 50 (Broncos over Panthers). Putting this together I get:

I II II 50

I’m at a loss as to what it could mean.