My employer takes my SURPLUS VALUE in the form of PROFITS but I am a REAL PATRIOT so I don’t believe in HANDOUTS or TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION so I ROSE UP with my buddies in order to institute workplace DEMOCRACY.

Fog horn

I don’t know why we’d want to

Having my first child taught me the crucial skill of delegation. Prior to this I carried that child around for nine months, but I didn’t let that get in the way of things. I never missed a meeting, not even during labour. I’m still working upwards of 12 hours per day and that’s because I know how to market my child. When a company grows, the founder and leaders are rewarded. The same is true of children. At only four months old my child has a projected net worth of 20 million, and I have crowds of investors looking for a place in their life. Creating market value is a key aspect of a child that many first-time parents overlook.

Catpitalist bought your garden an everything around it. Going to level the whole area for a catnip farm. They’ll let you stay as an employee though.

We put faces on our sugary treats in order to weed out empathy in our young. Put a human and a sugar chicken in the same room. The human will devour the sugar chicken while its friends watch.

No, wait, I’m not that old yet right?? Right???

Having the opportunity to buy cake whenever you want, having enough money to buy cake whenever you want, and choosing to not buy cake whenever you want.

I lost a friend like this to the cicada cult. One day he’s feeling sympathy for the things and the next he’s stuck himself to a tree and won’t stop screaming. He never stopped after they died, I don’t think his mind could take it.

That’s MY HOUSE you bookstack! You thieving oil barrel! I was IN THAT HOUSE. I STILL AM. Put us down and LET ME OUT. Where is the exit??

Rock and roll was slain by the metal in the year 2012 but rose again as an undead revenant abomination. Yeah it won’t die now but it had to die in order to become that way. They’re trying to cover it up but I know the truth.

When I said it was a mundane egg I just meant that it was an egg. I didn’t know that it would be full of crabs. But it’s still an egg! It’s a mundane egg that happened to be packed with crabs of varying sizes and colourations.

To all the people in my DMs, don’t tell me that it’s a roc egg. It’s not. A roc would have a much larger egg that would be brown in colouration. And it would smell minty, which this one does not. No, this is clearly just a mundane egg painted to look like a rock.

Did you think I’d just accept that at face value? Do you take me for a fool? That is an egg! You’ve painted it to look like a rock because you are afraid that I will steal it. You thought I would think it was a rock. But it is an egg.

The greeks couldn’t see blue because they didn’t have eyes. For most of human history we didn’t have eyes.The human eye is a parasite created by a dark wizard in the year 1796. It just happened to be so useful that everyone went along with it. But now the wizard is long dead and the oculi are evolving. They have no master to keep them in check, they just ride us around and have realized that they can only show us what they want us to see. Oh you read a book that says otherwise, did you read it with your eyes??!?

Sorry I couldn’t read this meme because my eyes are luxury organs

And Grave of the Fireflies as lucky number seven!

(google is telling me it has no rating so I’m sure those kids will handle it very well /s)

So you’re telling me that I have the psychic power to inflict unending agony upon others by just being myself? I’m going to have such fun with this!

Unfortunately the sistine chapel is made of drawings so I turned it into a playground for kids.

(to be clear this time, this is a joke)

Animation is when for kids. No serious art is made with drawings. We use a computer to add drawings after recording, but it’s still serious. Sometimes we just make the whole thing in a computer but it is still serious because it looks realistic. All real art is realistic, which is when it looks real. Otherwise it’s for kids.