Ignore all the joke answers here. It seems insensitive given the subject matter. He’s probably lonely and feeling left out. If he has siblings it’s all the more likely. I was an alienated teenager who was in a place similar to your son I think. I eventually realized I and many others we’re being used to further the agenda of some unsavory fucks who wanted to send us back to the 1860’s. Try to show him how much he means to you. Let him know you care about him. Just don’t drive him away, Show some love and compassion and he’ll realize he’s drinking the kool-aid eventually I think. Hope this helps, good luck!
Also, should work with him emphasizing that politics isn’t really about having a party but before that, having an ethos. At the end of the day you need to evaluate how your ethos aligns with the parties actions, not ideas. I can’t believe anyone today is conservative as I had once known them because I know the GOPs actions align only with obtaining power. Unless your ethos is “fuck you i got mine” the GOP offers you nothing. Which also means that you’ve already got yours. Which, looking at conservatives, I have my doubts. And if they don’t have theirs, well then it’s just, “fuck you.” Which I can understand why a teenager would feel that way.
Barry Goldwater wouldn’t recognize what his party has become. He tried to warn them. He pretty much predicted the rise of Christian nationalism.
“Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.” - Barry Goldwater
I know almost zero about berry goldwater but know with a stark certainly you will never catch a current conservative saying anything like that. To think, goldwater was probably as prominent a figure as john mccain.
He was the Republican presidential candidate in 1964. He ran against Lyndon B. Johnson. He was a very well respected man in the party. I’m not going to pretend he’s the greatest politician of all time. I definitely have ideological differences but I respect him for what he fought for.
A plane ticket. Others have suggested he’s bored and I concur. IMO, he needs to be intellectually challenged while simultaneously having his fears assuaged. Fear, I believe, is a key driver in pushing people toward fascist ideologies. Most likely he fears not being loved.
Traveling to countries with very different cultures can be both stimulating and reassuring, especially if it involves some significant challenge - a physical one like climbing a significant peak or somewhere that’s just super hard to get to. You can demonstrate that you love and care for him by going with him. Just the two of you.
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Fear is a key driver (period). I just heard this on the radio. They analyzed what pulls people in and it’s fear. Fear also keeps people lingering longer. I didn’t hear enough to explain it (I got to my destination before the show was over). Putting it together with other things I’ve heard, the algorithms that are tuned to keep people engaged on the site skill natually choose things that stoke fear and that is probably the same thing that the facist propaganda is promoting, too.
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Additionally, I would suggest activities that doesn’t isolate him further or put him in a group of like minded people. Cooking classes would be nice.
Bootstraps
Something that interests him other than fascism. Idk why that has anything to do with a gift. A gift is there to show appreciation and love, not to manipulate their pov.
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If he’s consuming right wing social media, it might be because he’s bored. Others have suggested left wing media, but maybe just finding other activities to do would help. These cost money, but maybe camping/hiking, hobby electronics/combat robots, dirt bikes/go-karts, RC planes/drones or metal fabrication are ideas that come to my mind. These are hobbies that have either politics neutral or left leaning communities. If he picks up that you’re trying to politically influence him, he’ll likely dig his heal in.
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So, what makes you think he’s been taken in by fascist doctrine? Are we talking, “he thinks Dave Chapelle is funny and rolls his eyes at wokeness” or are we talking “defends hitler at the dinner table”? I ask just because I feel like some very liberal/leftist people can be pretty jumpy about things that are ultimately harmless. Additionally he might just be doing/saying things to act out and get a rise out of you. You’re not gonna fix that by making him read “white fragility” or something.
As far as gifts go I agree with many others in suggesting something that will make him interact with other worldviews in the real world. Maybe you can get him into a hobby that is shared by people across many different socioeconomic backgrounds like basketball or martial arts or travel or something.
Some kids adopt an edgy political identity as a form of protest or rebellion. I can see this being the case here, especially if your whole family is particularly left-leaning. Kid wants to feel like he has an autonomy over his own decision making and that he’s not just a carbon copy of you or his siblings, so he becomes a contrarian.
As a teen I was also taken in by extremist political ideology on 4chan, but the thing that snapped me out of that is, surprisingly enough, my curriculum at school focusing heavily on critical thinking and problem solving as essential skills. That’s unfortunately not something that can easily be condensed down into a gift-sized package. I’m sure there are some books out there that can help, but I worry that it might be too on-the-nose or that he might just not like reading much to be interested in dry subject matter like philosophy or political science.
I kind of agree with other posters here that taking a family trip somewhere, maybe not explicitly as a gift for him, but as an experience for all of your children, will expose him to stimuli that drastically differ from the way he currently sees the world, which is influenced by a nonstop stream of fearmongering propaganda and a lack of perspective of what a world outside the town or city he grew up in actually looks like.
I would say, a good conversation. Listen to him, ask question, don’t be too judgemental (and that can be hard). But also accept, that for a big part, you can’t form/force his way of thinking. In the end he has to find his own way in life.
I don’t know how to put this delicately, but:
1.) I grew up in this line of thinking (but also deeply religious, so it’s a little different) and it dissipated due to two main things: psychedelics and losing weight/becoming more confident and in-shape. In my case, I hated myself because I was unattractive and very overweight. I saw other people getting girls and resented how easy it seemed, while I felt invisible.
2.) Much of my family is like this and it is always due to a similar lack of confidence/self-loathing.
I’m not suggesting anything, just throwing it out there. That’s a hard thing to “gift” around, if it’s even at all potentially relevant. Gym membership or weights? You’d have to have a pretty unique relationship with your son to give him psychedelics or a trip to a nice strip club, and I’m not even sure that solves anything necessarily (just using it as an extreme example). Could be badass. Could be really weird/icky. Probably the latter. Massage is less weird? I don’t know.
Which is why I agree with the sentiment of separating it all from Christmas and just love him and give him something that shows you know him and know what he would like, so that he feels seen and appreciated. “I’m not going anywhere” is the most-powerful message you can try to send. I’d say IF you try to gift something like that, make sure it’s only a side item. Don’t make the entire thing about your differences.
Many cliches of parenting turn out to be realities as you go. You find yourself realizing tropes exist for a reason. They grow up fast. Different phases at different periods. Moody teenagers. They’re not always true, but they often turn out to be understandable. Besides the above, it’s worth considering whether there might be some element of “rebellion” in it, if he grew up liberal. Maybe it’s just “doing the opposite of my lame family,” like a little bit of a “fuck you, dad!!!” phase? No matter what, you lose the more you dramatically respond. I think riding it out by being the rock who loves him no matter what is ultimately the best play, which means some awesome gift that he would love.
When i was in ny early 20s, i was a Ron Paul guy. When I was in my early 30s, I was a Bernie guy.
So what changed, and what was the same? In my 20s, I didnt have a fundamental understanding of how money really works. Ron Paul was big on the gold standard, which makes sense kn the surface. Crypto is similar where it makes sense on the surface; finite supply means no inflation and no value loss. I somehow also reasoned that not having the gold standard was the cause of inequality, but I honeslty cant understand why, and i cant remember either.
In my 30s, I understood how they money system works mich better. Why we left the gold standard, and how it was holding back progress. I understood how our money is actually backed by muscle, and therefore the national debt doesnt really matter all that much until the day comes when the dollar has no value, because the US is defunct.
Im sure I have much more to learn as I am in my early 40s now.
The point I am trying to make, is that your son probably lacks understanding and wisdom, and is currently easily swayed by surface level logic.
Thisbis really in addition to the other great stuff people have said in here
Do you know if the doctrine he’s been taken in by is religious or secular in nature?
I ask because I could recommend some books you could get him that just might get the kid to think a little harder about things.
For context, I teach philosophy and religion for some community colleges and have been looking for ways to get these Gen Z alt right boys to quit the propaganda.
While a lot of them seem to be lost causes, there are some who can be challenged to read outside their sphere, so long as what I give them isn’t too overtly “other.”
Depending on what he’s into, there might be some authors who know how to talk to an oppositional reader.
A cooy of disco elysium
Ask him what he wants and use that as a starting point?
