I honestly hate myself for still feeling this way at 23. Whenever I’m out, I always feel like the ugliest girl in the room, and it literally makes me feel completely worthless. It sucks watching how nicely everyone treats beautiful women. Nobody ever says anything mean to them. Guys are always looking out for them, and other girls always have their back. They get this pass in life that I’ve never had. No one has ever helped or protected me except my parents.I’ve learned to just rely on myself, because my parents won’t be around forever and nobody else gives a damn about me. Maybe this is how it should be.
That’s the neat part!
I’m sorry you’re going through that and that I have no real advice to offer but here is something worth considering:
What would you do if your best friend was talking that way about themselves? What if it was a stranger saying your friend was the ugliest girl in the room.
Please, if nothing else, be nicer to yourself.
Lively eyes and an inviting smile are way better than a pretty face, and fitness is always attractive regardless of the body nature gave you.
I mean this is easy - start intentionally going to places where “looking good” isn’t the organizing principle.
Find a hobby - hiking, gardening, books, pets. Hang out with people who value and are interested in things you value and are interested in. If you have something interesting to say and someone is interested- suddenly you have a much more interesting connection than “he thinks I’m hot”.
It seems great to have people treat you well because you are pretty - but in reality it means they don’t give two shits about who you are or what you think and will be dishonest with you to try to get in your pants.
Most pretty women really suffer when they get older and lose that “free pass” because the only social skill they ever learned was “look good”. If you learn to really listen and care about others, to be a good friend, to make people laugh - learn how to be an appealing person in a way that has nothing to do with looks. It will give you a much much more satisfying life for much much longer.
If your someone that hangs out on social media, bare in mind that it can alter your perception of beauty to unrealistic expectations.
The truth is that ugliness is only a problem with first impressions. Once people get to know you, your “ugli[ness]” will disappear and your facial features will just become a representation of who you are, on the inside. Forgive me, I don’t know if you have a medical condition but I know people with Treacher Collins that are capable of having friends and finding love, and I promise you can too. We can say it’s unfair that beautiful people get all the attention but ugly people tend to have the best people as friends.
I wish you the best.
Do you really want that kind of superficial attention? It may look nice on the outside to have people fawn over you but you know internally they are only being nice because they want something from you. Do you want genuine relationships or transactional ones? You don’t really want to rely on people who only treat you nice because of your appearance. If someone is rude or mean to you due to your appearance, you should be thankful they showed their ugliness rather than being manipulated by shitty people with that mindset.
you are 23, and you should have known this for quite some time now. it is not some kind of well hidden secret that sexy women have an easier life.
just lose some weight, do the hobby you like, and you will eventually find your crowd who will help you out and will treat you as their own BUT not based on your looks.
and just so you know, the female body peaks around 32-35. you are just ending your kid phase.
I think a lot of people would find you prettier than you’d expect. For me personally, what’s considered very attractive to most people looks fake and boring and less smart if I’m being honest. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking like this.
Looks, or looks?
I mean, is it stuff they DO or something they are? I had a sort of duck-to-swan progression, your day may yet come, and if it’s a styling, grooming, taking better care of themselves thing, and if you actually want to look more “beautiful” you likely can, by finding your style, taking care of yourself, and not worrying about looking good to anyone but yourself. If you were friends with you, would you call your friend ugly? I hope not. Be a friend to yourself.
There will always be someone better looking. There will always be someone smarter. There will always be someone richer, someone more magnetic, more outgoing and comfortable.
If you are really suffering, it’s your mind doing that to you, not your looks, and please know that if you had supportive parents you had more than a lot of people do.
ETA: you don’t have to look any better than acceptable to be attractive. Looks are a way to get in the door but they don’t do more than that. You can likely meet that acceptable bar and from there everything else matters more. Looks don’t make up for a crap personality.
Yeah, world’s a bit cruel to ugly people. Nothing you can do but grow some self-confidence.
You can also be too cruel to yourself.
I always thought of myself as ugly but aged into my looks. Now I am out of shape still but not bad looking.
Changing your outlook (which I am not saying is easy) also changes how you hold and present yourself. That confidence is also attractive.
So many posts about this, about time for a reveal to prove it.
Ew lmao
It’s an old internet rule, tits or gtfo, meaning prove it, because everyone makes claims like being a girl or being whatever, and on the internet, you’re nothing until proven otherwise.
This isn’t your average everyday yikes, this is… advanced yikes
I’m not good looking, so I’ve got to be funny instead.
They attract shit men and will be divorced at least twice by 40, then they are no longer as pretty.
Looks are vastly improvable with exercise and diet. If you treat your army of cells better, they will reward you by feeling and looking better. You are young still and will therefore be able to see what I’m talking about much faster than the olds. Get a pair of running shoes, YouTube some at home workouts, keep an exercise journal, and stick with it. Soon you will be feeling better, and looking better, which isn’t something to feel bad about wanting. Don’t do it for the guys. Do it for you. Do it for the spite.
Have you read Rage becomes her? It really helped me feel less completely worthless. It takes time to find your people. A bit of a cheat I’ve found: take some classes, like pilates or watercolor painting or whatever, and make friends with the older ladies. They are usually hilarious, and they will lift you up.
