Aliens invade earth, force utopia on everyone.
(short version because long it could get very complicated)
“Tech market crashing. Massive economic down turn.”
“Russia overwhelmed, can no longer sustain war.”
“United States completely crashes. Becomes third world country.”
“Upper class mass murder! Multiple billionaires and multi millionaires assassinated!”
MAGA disintegrates in orgy of backstabbing as opportunists scramble to fill reeking power vacuum left by massive Big Mac Attack.
he’s dead
On weekends, we hear fireworks occasionally on the weekends. We assume it’s for whatever sports game is in season.
But I always check the headlines real quick
I think a lot of us are waiting for the same headline.
There is someone who works a new stand. Everyday an elderly man walks up to the stand, looks at the news papers and the walks of in disgust.
Eventually the worker stops the old man and asks him “Why do you do that every day?”
The old man says “I am looking for a specific obituary.”
The worker says “But the obituaries are in the back on the new paper.”
The old man says “Not this one.”
I’ll just say it’s an obituary and be confident that I won’t need to say more.
There’s an old Soviet joke:
A man goes to a newspaper stand every day, buys a copy of Pravda, glances at the front cover, curses, and throws it away.
After a few weeks of this the seller just has to ask what’s going on: “why do you always look at the cover but never inside?” “I’m looking for an obituary.” “An obituary? But those are in the back!” “Oh no, the obituary I’m looking for will be on the front page.”
Turns out I just posted this further up the page with different wording. 🙃
Free beer day at Minoqua Brewing.
Donald Trump, JD Vance, Marco Rubio, Pete Hegseth, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Nancy Pelosi. Chuck Schumer, Vladimir Putin, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Altman. Dario Amodei, Kim Jong Un, Xi Jinping, Donald Trump Jr., Eric Trump, Jared Kushner, Kamala Harris, and Russell Vought all die mysteriously seemingly within minutes of each other.
You’ve got Kamala Harris on there but not Peter Thiel?
Yeah, ok bud.
Trump Found Dead on Toilet
Netanyahu Assassinated, Israel Collapses
Putin Dead of Colon Cancer, Russia Retreats from Ukraine
Socialist Revolution in North Korea
Myanmar Rebels Unite and Overthrow Junta
Sudanese Anarchist Republic Recognized by UN General Assembly
Saudi Royal Family Flees Capital During Violent Uprising, Interim Government in Talks with Yemen
DRC Enacts and Enforces Stringent Labour Laws, Ebola Cases Low
Canada’s Green Party Elects first Woman Premier
China Enshrines Proportional Representation into Law
Trump sentenced to 400 years solitary confiment after being found guilty.
Drug found that can extend life to 500 years.
A quick death is too good for some
>invents immortality
>sentenced to life in prison
Epstein files fully released
“Ram prices plummet- Solid state memory overstock reaching critical levels”
“RAM manufacturers spotted handing out DIMMs in on the street to alleviate oversupply issues.”
During Trump’s first term, I kept predicting that one day he would go missing, along with one of his helicopters, and turn up in Russia weeks later
In rapid succession:
-
Sustainable energy now open-source
-
Rewilding commons yields global benefits
-
Atmospheric CO2 reaches pre-industrial levels
-
World Food Programme ends human hunger
-
World Rejoices in universal debt jubilee
-
Humanity achieves intergenerational wealth for all
-
First Contact Consensus: Together, We Ascend
Wish to see that at least in my dream
-
Russia defeated in Ukraine
“Putin Dead”
The thing that saddens me isn’t a headline like that, it is that there will be more like him afterwards. :(
Power vacume like in the 90s i suppose. All depends how and when he dies
