I’ve lost 3 men in my life to suicide, 1 very close and very recently. What resources can I engage with to help. Literally what can I do, outside of generic advice, what’s an action I can proactively take. Are suicide hotlines still a thing? Is being an operator on there possible and what qualifications are there.
In a lot of cases money. They need enough money to basically retire on and do things. Not just enough to scrape by on.
I absolutely have suicide in my retirement plans.
I’ll have to be cautious about this advice, as I’m not a therapist, but: Ask for help with something. Any task they could be more qualified for, or that you need a second person, rely on them a bit. When they help you, thank them wholeheartedly, even with a gesture like a gift.
People like to feel that they’re needed and appreciated, that they have some worthiness in people’s eyes. But don’t fault yourself for lack of this action - it’s impossible for everyone to do this for everyone they know, and self-harmful minds do a lot to hide themselves.
Best of luck.
This was what kept my suicidal ideation just that. I was in a place of deep suffering but my dog needed me to wake up semi regularly. A buddy would need to talk about something now then. Somebody needed help moving. Even work, while also being part of problem gave me something to be a part of.
It depends very strongly on the reasons.
But as someone who had severe struggles with this and still thinks about it from time to time (since live is fucking hard and some developments also absolutely not helping) I would also wish for something that might sound very hard.
Letting go.
Suicide always leaves those of us behind with many questions, more than one takes an ever greater toll on the mind of the one left behind, so I want to first say first and foremost, genuinely: Your emotions are valid, and I know firsthand how much it can make one become overwhelmed.
Yes, suicide hotlines are still a thing. For the LGBTQ+ Youth, there is The Trevor Project, for others 988 services general crisis-level calls. You would need to contact particular crisis centers themselves likely for more details, but I would suspect one would need a degree in Psychology or other therapeutic-esque degrees to work in them.
Other than that, the unfortunate and harsh truth is that if one truly intends to go through with it, you as one person are unlikely to know until it is too late. Some choose the mercy of an out on their own accord, and those serious oft not talk about it unprompted. We have to try to be the best we can for those we cherish, and if something happens in spite of that, we know that we gave them a light, however dim it might have been, before the time. It is not a full solace, but it contextualizes an otherwise very overwhelming feeling.
I appreciate the response!
Kinda surprised no one’s mentioned 988 yet. (Edit, okay yeah I saw it.) It’s relatively new but it’s absolutely a thing. I also happen to know the VA has a crisis line as well if anyone can use that. They promote it often.
In my experience there’s two types of suicidal people. One is the person who talks about it frequently, sometimes jokingly, sometimes not, and that person is easy. They’re asking for help and for someone to intervene. They want to be stopped.
The second one is the one we should worry about. They’re dead set on taking their own life and will make sure they can’t be stopped. They’ll make a plan quietly, secretly. They’ll carry out the plan when no one is around. They may even look okay, because often a person who has made the final decision to do it will appear calm and happy. If you suspect such a thing, the only thing you can truly do is make sure they never get the opportunity. Make sure they’re never alone. Keep them talking. Watch their mood. Tell others in their circle to do the same.
Which brings me to another point: Call in the cavalry. You don’t have to fight someone’s suicidal ideation by yourself. Get their friends and family around them to move them towards professional help, because it’s a group effort.
As far as real, actionable advise, that’s really the best I can offer.
!mentalhealth@lemmy.world or !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world might have information for you
I’m very very sorry for your loss.
There are still appropriate crisis hotlines all over the world.
Suicide hotlines are very much still a thing, and you typically don’t need any kind of license or degree. I think many are volunteers.
There are also likely outreach programs in your area, if you search for them, and they frequently need volunteers. Helping people to access services is one of the more effective ways to prevent deaths, especially for high-risk populations like: addiction, lgbt, homeless.
If you’re looking to make a (paying) career change for this, there are also entry level jobs in behavioral health at inpatient and outpatient centers.
Hey, I work for a mental health call center, we take several lines and one of them is the 988 line. Many places will actually take volunteers, and they’ll give you the training you need. If you want help looking for volunteer opportunities in your area, feel free to DM me and I can help locate those with you.
If you want other suggestions of how to help, I have many!
Messaged.
My youngest was suicidal and my wife and I took a handful of suicide awareness and prevention classes. They were put on by the community and incredibly helpful.
Maybe start there?
I’m trying to find things like that near me.
This is going to sound dark but it saved a few lives.
Embrace the truth that depression is trying to tell you and you are now free to do anything.
Punch a shark, go skydiving, enjoy those moments that you denied yourself and nothing remains to be afraid of because they are all safer than suicide.
Let go of who you thought you were; that is not you now and you need to become the self that you need to be.
