• uen3@sh.itjust.works
    5·
    1 month ago

    Well, the purpose of a first date is to find out if you both “initially like” each other, right? If so, there will be a second date; if not- not. So this sounds like a first-and-last date scenario, either way.

    That means it’s an easy choice. I have to go with #1- no awkward burden of trying to get rid of her in a diplomatic way. No one is losing any sleep over why that weird boring guy they dated one time and didn’t like, never called back .

    In reality though- dating isn’t a thing I do or would start doing. So not really qualified to advise on it.

  • Pika@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    4·
    1 month ago

    for context; I’m Aro-Ace with a slight demi-romantic lean(like barely a sliver), so it’s unlikely I would be in this situation in the first place, but if I was in this situation, I would much prefer the second one to be in play because it’s unlikely that I would ever have a situation where I found someone attractive without having a pre-existing bond created.

  • Eggyhead@lemmy.worldEnglish
    3·
    1 month ago

    I’d schedule dates with both prospective partners to see who I’m more compatible with moving forward.

    How much we did/didn’t like each other before we agreed to go on a date is absurdly irrelevant and a very childish kind of mindset to have when dating.

    • JayJLeas@lemmy.worldOP
      11·
      1 month ago

      That’s an interesting point of view. I’m demi, so I only develop feelings once I know someone well. I feel like by then I already know if we’re compatible. But I guess that’s not the case for most people.

      • dingus@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        1 month ago

        I feel you. I never like someone initially. I have no idea how people do that. I have to get to know people in order to tell whether or not I like them. It’s one of the many reasons I’ve never really tried dating much.

  • zxqwas@lemmy.world
    2·
    1 month ago

    Don’t we have better things to do with our lives? I have to pick? Fine… hmm… second I think. I have a stronger aversion to taking up people’s time when I feel they don’t like me.

  • brucethemoose@lemmy.world
    2·
    1 month ago

    I mean. Step back, and its the same either way.

    But I suppose the anguish is on the “liker,” as the undecided is the one who gets to ponder their feelings and decide the fate of the date.

    …So if I was being selfish, I’d want to be the “undecided.” Generous, and I’d want to be the “liker,” so the heartache would be on me instead of my date.

    If I had knowledge of this cosmic situation, I guess I’d be the liker. I don’t want my date to have to sweat while I decide; I want them to have fun. And I’d classify myself as “looser than average,” so I wouldnt mind and just enjoy the time with the attractive person.