Bonus: What breed of turtle would make the best ninja turtle?
Please refer to this paper on the subject. They’re actually four distinct species of turtle:
Kingdom: Teenage
Phylum: Mutant
Class: Ninja
Order: Turtle power
Family: Splinter
Genus: Pizza-eating
Species: Leader, Machines, Crude, and Party
These heroic half-shell types of turtles subsist mainly on pizza in the northern regions of New York, and travel in fearsome fighting teams, hunting Shredders and local Foot clan bottom feeders. They have evolved alongside the local giant Kung-Fu rat population with which they share a symbiotic relationship and a sewer apartment. When the evil Shredder attacks, these turtle boys “don’t cut him no slack” (as they’re known to let evil Shredders escape to provide weekly hunting experience and entertainment for the group).
If you’re lucky, you can catch glimpses of these elusive species on the local Channel 6 News with April O’Neil.
Red eared sliders, per the og comic, as far as I can find.
I second this; even though their mutated form is terrestrial, they clearly look like it too. Red eared sliders are common gift pets that often get abandoned (I should know, I rescued one!).
Teenage
