Not really me. A friend of mine is moving out of state. His neighbor has been a total dick the entire time he’s lived there. Constantly commenting on how my friend’s yard isn’t as good as his. Mean to my friend’s wife and kids for no reason. Just an asshole of a person.
What are some ideas for fun pranks my friend can leave behind?
In the middle of the night, take a bunch of nitrogen fertilizer and lay out a “Fuck You!” message on his lawn. Water it into the ground.
The message won’t appear for months until after you move away.
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Thank you Dr. Jordan B. Peterson from Youtube
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You want to ruin someone’s life? Plant some fucking greenbriar on the property. Genus Smilax. Thorny vines that grow from rhizome-like tubers in the ground. Grows a little slower than kudzu but I’d rather be around kudzu. Harder to eradicate than white supremacy. Once it’s got it’s little tumors in your soil, it’s over forever. It’ll sent shoots out just under the grass to spread out like strawberries. If you get both genders of the plant in one place, the females will grow berries that the birds eat and then they’ll shit the seeds everywhere, the complicit little fuckpukes. If you don’t dig up ALL the plant, it’ll just grow back harder. I’ve seen them strangle a dogwood tree to death. They’ll grow 40 feet high if they’ve got something to climb. There is no commercial, medical or craft use for them. The leaves have a waxy coating that protects them from herbicide. I haven’t tried fire yet but it probably won’t work.
I don’t know what kind of neighborhood it is but sprinkling cat food or something like that everywhere would probably attract something. Your friend could even do it to his own yard. I’d be weirded out if my neighbor moved and suddenly his yard had 25 raccoons in it.
If you wanna spend money, glitter mail. or if its a house, set up a flood light pointed at their house and set it up on a random timer for only at night and blast them with “security” lighting.
Attract tons of wild life with the food you need to get rid of.
Sign up for grindr and start sending people their way.
Learn the noise ordinance laws and maximize that to the fullest for a short period
Stand on the property line constantly and try looking through their windows, or watch them, if they approach, quickly leave (don’t enter their property)
Sign them up for stuff. Especially if you can find their email through LinkedIn etc.
Or, just move on since they will be out of your life regardless, don’t spend your energy on them,they aren’t worth it
Edit: Actually rather than grindr, send scalpers, leave good people out of these shenanigans
Throw wildflower seeds (non invasive) over onto his perfectly manicured yard.
Another one is a long con: befriend crows, get them to come to your friend’s house to feed. The neighbor will likely sho them away which will aggravate them. Crows hold grudges for a REALLY long time and only shit where they don’t eat, aka his yard.
Let Scientology and the Jehovah’s witnesses know he’s interested in knowing more. Do the same with military recruiters.
Sign him up to receive junk mail from sex toy stores. Use his name and his neighbors’ addresses. Maybe try to get travel brochures sent to him for countries known for sex tourism.