If you don’t agree with the concept of good or bad people, you dont have to answer just down vote. If you think a person is good or bad based on where they were born and live you don’t have to answer just down vote.
Their ability to return their shopping cart to the corral
Small addition: while nobody is watching. Or at least they think nobody is watching.
How people behave towards animals is a really big one for me. If someone doesn’t like cats or dogs or any sort of critters for any reason other than a traumatic childhood attack memory I assume something is deeply wrong with them. I realize plenty of bad people don’t hate animals, but I assume if you do then you can’t be good.
My mom dislikes animals but she isn’t mean to them, she just avoids having anything to do with them
Their levels of empathy, their relationship with their own ego, and, similarly, their levels of selfishness / egotistic/ egocentric. That’s the core that drives, they’ll make decisions on who to betray from that core, with no care for others, they become quite dangerous to be around. That said something people are good at pretending they have empathy and aren’t egocentric, but if you wait and watch, pretend always has cracks to see through. And i don’t mean small moments of overwhelm. I mean, polar opposite behaviours that seem outside their morals, when not in an extreme emotion. You will usually see little things around the edges, and your instinct is to excuse it away, because it doesn’t fit the narrative, don’t do that bit. Little things around the edges might look like casually stealing, possibly just small things, sometimes even from friends, jealousy or a hatred for someone for no apparent reason other than they’re good at something the person in question is, too. Wanting a lot of attention, without giving anyone else room in the spotlight, or giving less and less room for others in the spotlight, until it’s all about them. Passing blame, it’s always someone elses fault, or excuses for everything they do that they feel are a reason to be able to do the poor behaviour, rather than taking responsibility, learning and growing. Unable to metabolise failure, at all. If you look up fixed and growth mindset, (Carol Dweck) narcissistic types, always have a fixed mindset. Where they’re Unable to utilise mistakes or failures to learn and grow, and believe that you are inherently born good at things or not, rather than practice at anything making you able to be an expert at something.
I cannot remember the reference right now, but it’s said that anyone can become “genius” level at something, if they just put 7 years of practice into it. “Bad” people, practice being like everyone else, they are very good at learning what you want to see, and mirroring that, for a time, it’s not something anyone can hold up for very long, but that said, I’ve seen it held up for a year, odd, at times.
If you wait, don’t get enmeshed with someone too quickly, they usually try to move fast to enmesh you, and remember that a lot of what you see in anyone around you, is what your brain imagines is there, you put a “persona” on people, all people. What’s in everyone is a complex mix of a different set of morals, and emotional maturity, privilege and perspective of the world that’s shaped by their unique upbringing, surroundings and environment. Even two siblings can have very different upbringing, surroundings and environment. And everyone has bad and good, in them. What you need to assess is the harm they could or do cause you and what you need to do to keep safe, keeping in mind that psychological, emotional and verbal abuse, are as harmful as physical abuse. And then decide what level of involvement is safe for you.
“There was definitely a more virtuous path to take here, why didn’t they? Are they just that stupid? Emotionally overwhelmed and unable to be righteous? Or are they in full awareness and capacities, but they just don’t care?”
The answer gives me a data point, and with a collection of points (fewer are needed the further the decisions are from virtue) I make my assessment.
How do they treat those that are “beneath” them? Customer service workers, pets, kids, etc. Anyone that they should have some sort of authority over.
THIS is the answer. You can tell a lot about a person on how they treat people that they cannot use to make themselves richer or look better.
When you die, you will bring no money with you. You will bring no material items. Your words will be forgotten. Your name will eventually crawl its way back into the abyss of non-existence from where it came along with all the others. The ONLY thing that will have mattered in the slightest in your measly and momentary existence is how you made others feel. To live a life with any sort of self-importance is to rob yourself of the only thing that matters in the entirety of the known universe.
I don’t think people can be divided into good and bad, I think it’s more of a spectrum. I generally judge how good a person is by the virtues they show in their actions. I like when people take accountability for their actions, are kind to others, do what’s right even if it’s difficult, are honest, and their actions align with what they claim to believe.
Easy. By what they say and do.
I assume everyone is good by default, and I’ll usually let a tasteless joke slide once, because we all occasionally put our foot in mouth.
If their actions and words don’t mesh with my own moral compass, they aren’t a person I associate with any more than necessary.
I’ve always struggled with it, so I’ve learned to ask someone better at character judgement than I.
I used to check with my dog. Then I met my wife and found out over a year how moral she was and how consistently she applied those morals. Now I ask her.
Out of curiosity and nothing else, why do you think you’re a poor judge of character? And are you neurodivergent in some way (I’m an ADHD enjoyer, btw, I’m not hating here)?
And congrats on the nice family life! 👍
Past experience, mostly. My neurons are divergent as well, and anyone who was nice to me could get my trust, which often turned into someone taking advantage of me or backstabbing me.
Thanks for the reply. I’m glad to know you’ve found someone you can trust safely!
In addition to some of the other criteria mentioned, some other indicators of a bad person are:
- Using bad-faith argument techniques, such as tone policing
- Endorsing or demanding conformity for conformity’s sake
If society was only copies of this person, would it be better or worse to live in than current society?
Oh no, my puddle of depression is gonna become a tsunami of depression.
A society of "me"s is cooked. Unable to do anything because its too scary to go outside.
Yeah but you’re not raping and murdering and lying and scamming so perhaps it wouldn’t be a very productive society but at least we’d be safe with a society of yous. 🤷😁
The worst thing you’ll run into is another depressed puddle. Can’t be too bad unless you’re something like a reckless driver because nothing matters.
If they are willing to hurt other people for their own benefit or for no reason. Or if they are willing to help someone else do that. (Like how republicans voted Trump into office to keep him out of prison.)
Good people:
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Take time to listen to others even if it’s something they don’t agree with, they want to understand the other person before they want to performatively argue.
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Treat others with kindness, and everyone equally, no matter their age, race or social standing.
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Make sure people are treated fairly by others even if it’s very small gestures like noticing if someone said something nobody heard, or if someone is being talked-over, and calling attention to it.
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Care about how they make other people feel. I mean, it should be obvious but apparently a LOT of people took all the wrong lessons from their saturday morning cartoons and care more about being emotionally vindicated and somehow still think they’re the good ones, a tendency that covers every side of every population or group.
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Have values and principles that they stay consistent with, which is very different than having something like a political ideology. (Those things can change, based on your value system.)
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Good old fashioned eye/smell test.
how do they value family? as throwaways or as irreplaceable star material?
To be fair, there’s nothing wrong with throwing away family members who are not good people.
