When questioning your intentions as arrogant, entitled, immature vs confident, moral right, correctness. Or even questioning if the Duning Kruger effect is at play.
What process do you incorporate to back-up your self-judgement or in identifying your decisions/choices are in-fact “correct” in online discussions and/or personal life with friends/family.
How do you remove “self-doubt”?
Why would you want to get rid of self doubt? Questioning ones reasons or whether they’re wrong is vital.
I get where you are coming from, that it is a useful thing to have but sometimes self-doubt or insecurities can be debilitating and lead to inaction. It’s should healthy medium like most things in life.
Because your family is toxic and conditioned you from birth to doubt everything you think and feel.
I don’t. There is no absolutely “right” answers, we just need to accept the bad choices and move on. Like anyone else, you will choose the wrong choice eventually, and that’s is fine, just learn from it.
I don’t think you should ever fully remove self doubt. It’s useful so you don’t end up a megalomaniac.
But generally speaking, you do the best you can. I look at the situation, weigh the variables, and make a decision based on the best information I have at the time. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong.
It’s sort of like playing poker. Sometimes you have AA and you lose to someone with 72. Doesn’t necessarily mean you misplayed the hand - sometimes you do your best and still lose. Just lick your bruises and keep moving forward.
Also, I think being able to admit to your mistakes when you are wrong will help a ton.
I always know I can never be 100% sure of anything. That removes some of the pressure of needing to be right, and ironically some of the uncertainty too. Other than that, well, just gather as much information as possible and go for it… Then don’t look back
You don’t
Simply keep saying “Fuck it we ball” untill you can ball no more
Great question OP. I don’t have anything as rigid as a process for completely subtracting the bad parts of self-doubt, but I suppose if we had that all ready, this wouldn’t be a great question, would it? Heh
Self-assurance comes from being a lifelong learner I think. Even then, being 100% sure of yourself all of the time isn’t optimal for your self-assurance’s consistency in the future. You tend to doubt yourself when you think you’re missing knowledge, right? So why not learn to fill the gap where you can?
Post your answer/talk to people, doing your best to be authentic yet as “correct” as possible, and allow the raging comments to fill the gap for you. You can only give your best today but you might be better tomorrow. I think as long as you approach a topic with the intent to learn or to help someone learn, you’ll find that self-doubt is the first step in the process (heyoooo) in self-belief.
Look at you, asking a question like this. Go learn something, you piece of stale white bread! I scoff at your sense of discovery! (/s if it’s not obvious)
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Edit: tbh, I see how the question is framed as a general question too.
I think overall, therapy is a great solution. I wish it was easier to start the process in the states. Surprisingly I haven’t had any experience truly understanding anti-depressants or being close to those that took them and were open talking about them. I wish I knew more about their effects on how they help with self-assurance.
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I think in this context it’s important to be specific about the type of self-doubt you’re experiencing. Are you unsure about something specific you’re stating? A decision you’re making? A belief you have? A pattern of behavior you exhibit? Yourself/your life in general (literally, “unsure of yourself”)? These are all separate things imo and warrant different levels of healthy doubt. Like, be open to being wrong about a fact, and be mindful of your behavior / willing to change it if it’s hurting others, but no need to spend energy constantly doubting who you are or how you’re living your life. Whenever I experience self-doubt, I try to first ask myself which of these categories it belongs to, and based on that I decide how I want to respond to it.
I hope this makes sense, it got rambly lol
It definitely makes sense. and that’s what makes it more complicated. because it is also hard to relay context to get second opinions. sometimes what’s left is personal reflection, but practicing how to remove self-bias and not re-adjusting past memories to fit an argument is very difficult.
Thank you for listing those categories, it’s nice seeing them out in print to properly remember.
By not being sure of myself on anything except subjects about which I have done a great deal of research and reading and/or have considerable personal experience and knowledge. This means that I am not “sure of myself” very much, and when I am, I feel justified in doing so
You really don’t maybe you shouldn’t. I just try to compare new things to things I have done in the past and evaluate how much effort more it will take. At work for example: every change is 2 days. You want the little light to be green instead of red? 2 days. You want to change the programming language? Still two days. On average it works out. You just keep stacking successes behind you gradually taking on bigger and bigger tasks. Each one is only slightly harder than what you have already done.
When the self-doubt is overwhelming, a gambler’s desperate bet is made, to go all in hoping for a miracle.
When forced by circumstances, whether as a hero or a villain, one becomes the protagonist of an epic that foretells the rise or fall of an entire world.
When everything else fits perfectly into place, being right is the only truth worth considering.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s…I just need to know what you want to drink.
Oh, uh… Water please. Thank you.
I’m perfect, it’s impossible for me to be wrong. ;) I can get additional facts and have a need to change my point of view, which is called learning.
At least at my house I got told loads of times that nature gave me a brain, so I should use it. So I’m always right… with the knowledge I have at that time. I’m never proven wrong, just that I lack knowledge. ;) (And from time to time I learn loads)
